Since it is (at least in my time zone) now August 6th, I’ve been a parent for a full month now. It seemed like a good opportunity to reflect on a couple of things I’ve learned about myself, babies, and being a parent. And nsince baby’s asleep and I’m chained to the breast pump, you all get to benefit from my newfound wisdom! So, in the spirit of fighting ignorance, here is what I know to be true for at least one baby on he planet:
*Babies have a sensor that alerts them to when mom is trying to take a nap. No matter how peacefully they are sleeping, when you lay down they will get up.
*Everyone says that the early smiles are just gas bubbles, but it doesn’t matter. They’ll make you feel like the best parent ever anyway.
*You might think it’s cute that your baby is farting while you change his diaper. It will rapidly become less cute when he sprays poop on the wall.
*Becoming a parent really cements your awareness of your own mortality. I haven’t changed much in the last several days, but my son is a new person - larger, stronger, smarter, more aware - every single day.
*When you get distracted by profound thoughts like the previous, your child will keep you humble by peeing on your hand.
*watching your spouse become a parent for the first time, and interacting with your child together, opens up a completely new dimension in a relationship.
*It is possible to love someone with all your heart, even while exhausted, frustrated, and covered in their rapidly-cooling vomit.
So - anyone else have lessons, horror stories, or warnings to share? I’ll need something to read when he wakes up for his next feeding!