You know you're getting old when...

[RandMcnally]

...you're in the store and you see a new washer and dryer and think to yourself, "Man, I so want that! It even has a steam setting!"

... you have friends turning 30 (I'm 24) and think, "30's not so bad."

... you're looking at what your insurance covers and get genuinely excited that they cover 80% of dental costs.

[cochrane]

...you're over 50 and you think to yourself, "30's not so bad. Or even 40."

[Colibri]

When your oldest nephew posts on his Facebook page how bummed he is about turning 30 next year.

[carnut]

You start receiving invites to join AARP. Mind you, I was still in my twenties when this happened, but still....

[Crawlspace]

Greg Giraldo had a good one:
You know you're getting old when you fall down, no one laughs and random strangers come running over acting all concerned.

[Kolga]

When you see people 20 years younger than you start to worry about getting old

[kunilou]

When your new assistant happens to mention how old her mother is, and it's the same age as you.

[salinqmind]

When go into the hospital and there are all these kids roaming the halls; one comes into your room, you ask if he or she has seen any doctors out there, and some 18 year old insists he or she IS the doctor. What's with that? Some kind of prank?

[sevenwood]

You know you're getting old when those Sweet Young Things start holding the door open for you.

[Cicero]

When you can't trust a fart.

[romansperson]

Originally Posted by salinqmind

When go into the hospital and there are all these kids roaming the halls; one comes into your room, you ask if he or she has seen any doctors out there, and some 18 year old insists he or she IS the doctor. What's with that? Some kind of prank?

Oh yes ... I recently had surgery and if you saw the surgeon who did it walking down the street you'd swear he was a college sophomore.

[kayaker]

When a friend's son sees your car outside of a bar and stops in to say hi, and you are shocked when the bartender gets him a drink. Happened yesterday.

(I thought he was 18 or so. Turns out he's 24. I was worried the bartender served him as a favor to me)

[Snickers]

When the 19-year-old college intern acts shocked when you tell her that you're 34, because she's so young and inexperienced that she thinks everyone working in an office is her parents' age. I'm 34, not 50! I'm not even twice your age! (Almost, but I'm not, dammit.)

[Giles]

Originally Posted by Kolga

When you see people 20 years younger than you start to worry about getting old

When you see people 40 years younger than you worrying about getting old.

(Heck, my father's still alive -- he's just 98 -- so I can't be that old!)

[salinqmind]

When you plan a trip and say, instead of taking my old junker, we'll drive the new car, and you immediately realize the 'new' car is 8 years old. Didn't we just pick it up at the dealership last summer?

[Ellen Cherry]

You turn on the oldies station on the radio and hear something you think of as current. This happens to me with REM all the time.

[Leaffan]

Originally Posted by Cicero

When you can't trust a fart.

I'm ashamed to admit that I indeed experienced that about two weeks ago. Good thing it was at home!

Originally Posted by Snickers

When the 19-year-old college intern acts shocked when you tell her that you're 34, because she's so young and inexperienced that she thinks everyone working in an office is her parents' age. I'm 34, not 50! I'm not even twice your age! (Almost, but I'm not, dammit.)

No, but you were twice her age 4 years ago!

[Yllaria]

Originally Posted by Colibri

When your oldest nephew posts on his Facebook page how bummed he is about turning 30 next year.

Or your youngest sun is grousing about passing 30 and feeling old.

Oddly, it bothered me when I started having more than 4 pills to take a day. And the number's gone up since then.

[Drain Bead]

Two words: Back problems.

[kayT]

My grandma once told me that you know you're old when your daughter has false teeth!

[tdn]

When you have a friend who teaches college, and who complains that she has to explain what 9/11 was to her students, and yet you realize that when you graduated from high school, she was just starting kindergarten.

[Cicero]

Try telling them that your grandfather fought in the Boer War (circa 1900).

[lindsaybluth]

Originally Posted by RandMcnally

...you're in the store and you see a new washer and dryer and think to yourself, "Man, I so want that! It even has a steam setting!"

I want the one where you hang shirts up on hangars in the dryer, eliminating any need for ironing.

My contribution: When you go to a bar for the happy hour specials and go to bed before the Daily Show.

[Cicero]

Originally Posted by lindsaybluth

I want the one where you hang shirts up on hangars in the dryer, eliminating any need for ironing.

My contribution: When you go to a bar for the happy hour specials and go to bed before the Daily Show.

That could also be a sign of youthful friskiness (waggles eyebrows)

[Living Well Is Best Revenge]

When you get out of the bed in the morning and your body sounds like popcorn popping.

[lindsaybluth]

Originally Posted by Cicero

That could also be a sign of youthful friskiness (waggles eyebrows)

Ha, wait, the happy hour part or the dryer part?

[Little Nemo]

Originally Posted by Cicero

That could also be a sign of youthful friskiness (waggles eyebrows)

If friskiness involves hanging up shirts, youth is wasted on you.

[Cicero]

Youth would never be wasted on me.

Lindsay, I meant the going to bed bit

However, I am going to bed.

Night all.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Little Nemo

If friskiness involves hanging up shirts, youth is wasted on you.

It depends on who's in the shirt at the time.

Years ago I made Thanksgiving dinner for my then-GF, her mother, her cousin, and her cousin's friend. The cousin and the friend were in their early 20s. After dinner, they asked if they could sleep over. We said yes. They said "Great, we're going out dancing!"



If by dancing you mean lying down, watching The Wizard of Oz, and hoping you don't fall asleep by the time Dorothy gets to Oz, then I'm right there with you.

[Foggy]

When the cute child actor suddenly turns into sexy adult actor (Daniel Radcliffe & Matthew Lewis) while making you feel slightly perverted also.

When the age poll on a gaming forum stops at 25.

[salinqmind]

Originally Posted by romansperson

Oh yes ... I recently had surgery and if you saw the surgeon who did it walking down the street you'd swear he was a college sophomore.

True story (and I'm not an elderly dodderer, I swear! I don't look a day over 39!) but I talked to this young Dr. Bonez and said, "keeping it in the family, I see, I remember going to see a Dr. Bonez years ago. How is your father?" "Oh, dad's doing OK, retired now, but he's always lived in California. Your doctor must have been my grandfather."

[Sampiro]

...you have a favorite brand of suppository

...you know your pharamacist's name

...the time between "I could pee if there was a restroom nearby" to "IT IS COMING OUT NOWWWWWWW!" goes from 45 minutes to 45 seconds

[Toucanna]

You used to look down at the speedometer and realize you were doing 10 miles over the limit.

Now you look down and realize you're doing 10 miles under the limit.

[BMalion]

When taking a nap is more enjoyable than sex.

[Ellen Cherry]

Originally Posted by BMalion

When taking a nap is more enjoyable than sex.

Thank goodness I'm not old!! ::wags behind::

[Sampiro]

Originally Posted by BMalion

When taking a nap is more enjoyable than sex.

And takes less time.

[VunderBob]

Well, it first started in the late 70s after watching the quintessential and ubiquitous Hostess Twinkie commercial (you know, the one with the squeaky clean white kids and Mom) and thinking the chick playing the Mom was hawt...

It has now devolved to the stark realization that The Big 5-0 is next weekend...

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Ellen Cherry

Thank goodness I'm not old!! ::wags behind::

I'd chase that behind but you'll have to move real slow.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by VunderBob

It has now devolved to the stark realization that The Big 5-0 is next weekend...

I have no idea how I'm going to handle that. I have a couple more months to enjoy my youth and vitality.

[VunderBob]

Originally Posted by Toucanna

You used to look down at the speedometer and realize you were doing 10 miles over the limit.

Now you look down and realize you're doing 10 miles under the limit.

I've always viewed myself as a bit of a lead foot, and I aim for 10 over the posted limit. When I worked in Virginia, I'd be doing 70 at some point, and I'd still be flipped off and passed.

I work on a Navy base in Maryland now, and each exit has a permanent radar stand that flashes your speed, to get you to slow down while passing the guard shacks. That's when I realized that the 30 on my speedometer registered 25 on the radar.

[BMalion]

Originally Posted by Ellen Cherry

Thank goodness I'm not old!! ::wags behind::

I'll be hitting on you..






...right after this nap.

[suranyi]

When your cousin's son, who you remember holding as a baby, announces his engagement.

[kath94]

Originally Posted by Ellen Cherry

You turn on the oldies station on the radio and hear something you think of as current. This happens to me with REM all the time.

I listen to an oldies station. I think of "oldies" as '50s & '60s. Now they're '80s & '90s. WAIT! Those can't be oldies! Those are the last albums I bought.

Wait! Albums?!?

[Finally]

I worked at home today and wore a ratty old tee shirt. It's from WXRT in Chicago. (For those of you who remember, it says, "following will get you nowhere"). Anyway, it was a gift at my surprise 30th birthday party. It will be 19 years old on Tuesday.

[carnut]

Originally Posted by Cicero

When you can't trust a fart.

So, so true.

[ZipperJJ]

When you are excited about your trip to Seattle so you can go to the Microsoft store, and visiting Kurt Cobain's memorial is an afterthought (this only makes sense for 30-35 year olds).

[RoeCocoa]

Originally Posted by Yllaria

Or your youngest sun is grousing about passing 30 and feeling old.

If you remember when the sun was only 30, you are kind of old.

Originally Posted by kath94

Those can't be oldies! Those are the last albums I bought.

Wait! Albums?!?

When I was 17, I talked to a 19-year-old who didn't know about record albums. (We were at a pizza place with some album covers hanging on the wall; he wanted to know what was up with all of the funny square posters that said "Blood Sweat & Tears.") I thought he was putting me on. When I realized he was serious, I felt old.

[LSLGuy]

I've posted this before, but ...

When you see some 18-year old hardbody chick yakking with a woman obviously her Mom. And you catch yourself thinking "I'd do Mom in a heartbeat." Now where did that come from?

Also ...

Folks around here are real courteous. Going in and out of buildings it's normal to hold doors open for strangers & to say "thank you" to folks who do. Everybody does it regardless of the respective ages. But when they call you Sir as they're doing it, that stings a bit.

[panache45]

. . . when you're reading a thread like this, and people half your age are complaining about how old they are.

. . . when your parents' generation has mostly died off, and now it's your generation that sits around talking about your ailments, procedures and medications.

. . . when your partner, who is 20 years younger than you, now has gray hair.

. . . when the cousins you used to babysit for, are all middle-aged.

. . . when you can't decide which is a bigger problem, cataracts or glaucoma.

. . . when you have fallen, and really can't get up.

. . . when everything in your body has either dried up or leaks.

[salinqmind]

I always thought 'album' meant a collection of something, whether pressed flowers in a scrapbook, vinyl records in a cardboard cover, or a bunch of songs in any format.