Female, age 61 here. I know I can google medical info on what to expect, but how about you Dopers dropping me some clues on what it’s like …
Since the OP is asking for personal experiences, this is better suited to IMHO than GQ.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
It’s not that bad. Well, okay, it is that bad, but the good thing is they give you drugs which a) make you not care it’s that bad and b) forget it was that bad. 
The prep part is the worst of it, for most people. Follow the doctor’s directions, 'cause you don’t want to be that guy who gets a tube stuck up his butt, only for the doctor to find the bowel covered in goop 'cause he didn’t follow the prep regimen. Then they try for a while to clean it out, give up, and reschedule the whole shebang, costing you money and making you go through another round of GoLytely.
Of course, what your doc says trumps what I say, but generally speaking, they want you off “roughage” (whole wheat bread, nuts, popcorn, etc.) starting about three days before the procedure. They may also want you to avoid beef, lamb, pork and game meats. Usually it’s clear liquids 24 hours before. Also 24 hours before, stop eating or drinking red or orange stuff (it can make it look like your bowel is inflamed, or even bleeding, when it’s not.) “Clear liquids” means anything that is liquid at room temperature and you can see through - plus jello (not red or orange). Popsicles - not red or orange - are therefore clear liquids, even though you eat them when they’re solid, and a good way to assuage the crunch craving.
The GoLyteley or other bowel prep tastes pretty bad. Make room in your refrigerator for it, and put it over ice to make it not taste so bad.
Don’t plan on going anywhere once you start drinking the GoLytely. Invest in some moist bathroom wipes or a squeezy bottle with lukewarm tap water - toilet paper will get irritating. Make it clear to your family or roommates that “I gotta go!” means NOW, and that you own the bathroom for the next 12 hours.
The day of the procedure, You’ll go in (leave your valuables at home) and they’ll have you undress and put on a hospital gown and they’ll put an IV in your arm or hand. They’ll put a pulse oximeter (either a disposable sticky wrap around one, or a hard plastic clippy one) on your finger to monitor your oxygen status, and probably a few sticky electrodes to monitor your heart. They may put a blood pressure cuff around your arm and leave it there so they can check your blood pressure as needed without moving your arm too much.
About 15 minutes later, they’ll wheel you into a room, check your name and birthdate and that you understand what the procedure is and have you sign some papers consenting to the procedure if they haven’t been signed yet. Then the doctor or nurse will put some drugs into the IV line in your arm. The drugs will make you very woozy and tired, but you probably won’t fall asleep. (When it’s done, though, you’ll probably think you slept through it, because the drugs make you forget what happened while they were working.) They’ll periodically ask you how you’re feeling. If you’re nauseous, tell them, and they’ll give you a little more medication to get rid of it. If you feel pain, tell them, and they’ll take care of it.
They’ll probably start you out lying on your side, and someone will help you turn as needed. The procedure takes about 20 minutes. During the procedure, they’ll insert colonoscope - a tube about 3/4 of an inch in diameter. Inside this tube are a few other tubes - a tube holding a light, a hose through which air can be blown, a hose through which water can be passed, and a hose through which the doctor can put additional tools, like little pincers or brushes or blades or clamps. The doctor will use lots of lubricant to insert the colonoscope and then advance it slowly, using puffs of air to inflate the bowel, water to rinse it, the light to look around and the other tools as needed if they find something they want to cut out and biopsy.
When it’s all done, they’ll wheel you into recovery, where you’ll “come out of it” and start farting. Don’t worry about the farting. All that air the doctor used to inflate your bowel has to come out. You’ll feel much better if you don’t fight it and embrace the fartiness! They’ll probably keep you for about an hour after the procedures, checking your vital signs, asking you how you feel and listening to your gut. They may let you eat something, or you may have to wait until you get home for that.
You’ll need a responsible adult to drive you home and sit with you for a few hours. They will NOT let you take a cab or bus home. If you don’t have anyone who can be with you, expect to spend a few hours in the waiting room after your procedure, 'cause someone really does need to keep an eye on you for any reaction to the sedation and/or a rigid abdomen, which is a sign that they’ve perforated something. (Not at all common, but not unheard of, either.)
Good luck!
That sounds a little more involved than what I always imagined… Thanks for the thorough and detailed description.
ETA - WhyNot’s fine post wasn’t there when I started …
The fun part was the prep regimen the day before. Basically skip dinner & OD on 2 kinds of laxative starting at around 4pm. By 6pm I was blasting out liquid every 20 minutes. Not painful, just annoying. By 10pm I was *real *clean inside & slept fine since the laxative had spent itself. Had to remember not to fart in bed though.
The next day I did my usual morning routine except no breakfast, & drove to the clinic. I checked in, they laid me on a gurney and fed me a trank pill. A few minutes later after the pill had made me mildly silly they installed an IV input in the back of my hand & I was wheeled into a curtained off area down the hall.
There I met the doc & anesthesiologist, both wearing street clothes. I was surprised at their non-clinical clothing, but they’re not intending to cut you open.
The anethesiologist said he would start injecting anesthetic and I was supposed to count backwards from 100.
I got to 98 & woke up in another room with different nurses & warm blankets. After 30 minutes I got dressed, paid my copay, and wife drove me home. Took a nap later that day & was normal by dinner.
End of story. No follow on effects, no soreness, etc.
Pretty much a non-event.
You’re welcome! You don’t generally hear the details because people forget them, I think. Versed is a wonderful drug.
I spent a 12 hour shift in the colonoscopy clinic once as a nursing student. It was kind of cool how different every patient’s colon looks. Still, a mind-numbingly boring job for the RN.
It’s great to hear it from the patient’s point of view. And see…whadItellya? You don’t remember a darn bit of the technical (and uncomfortable) stuff anyhow! 
There are variants of prep meds. Some docs don’t like the pills because if the patient doesn’t follow the directions for water to consume severe dehydration can result.
If you get the foul tasting liquid, this technique worked for me:
- take a breath and hold it
- drink as much solution as you can without taking a breath
- take a drink of a flavorful, aromatic clear liquid (I used Gatorade and propel)
- resume breathing
WhyNot has basically told everything that I experienced. Especially the part about Versed being a wonderful drug.
Seriously, the prep was the worst for me. I’m diabetic, which means that I had to watch my blood sugar carefully while following that diet…if I wasn’t diabetic, I’d just drink Sprite. The colon cleanser tasted nasty. I suggest having a bathroom for your exclusive use for the duration.
Both the doctor and the clinic insisted that I have a responsible adult be at the clinic while I had the procedure done, and to drive me home, and to stay with me for a few hours afterwards. I was told that taking a cab home was NOT an option, unless I had another adult who was going to stay with me. So check with the doctor for his instructions.
I didn’t get GoLytely, I got something else for the clean-out. It still tasted horrific. I got it as cold as possible and mixed it 50/50 with Fresca, which didn’t make it taste good, just made it possible to swallow the stuff. Pretty much what everyone else says, though - you’ll want to stay near a toilet, you’ll be visiting it every 20 minutes for awhile, you need everyone else to understand that is YOUR TOILET and no you CAN NOT WAIT, NO, NOT EVEN A NANOSECOND when you have to go. I also advise some sort of entertainment in the bathroom. A book, magazine, or this (Warning - language is a bit frank, may not be safe for work), from Billy Connelly
Please do NOT do what one of my co-workers once did, and that was to think you could do the prep and NOT take the day off work. Well, she wound up taking the day off in the sense she spent her time in the ladies room rather than at her desk, but really, no one was happy with the situation. You have to be at home, near a toilet, the day before.
I was advised to consume extra liquids, as the clean-out does involve a lot of moisture, as well as other things, leaving your body. WhyNot covered the eating rules, so no need for me to repeat them.
I wasn’t real thrilled with this because, on top of the usual reasons for not being thrilled with turbo-thrust defecation mode, I had only a few weeks before been hospitalized with gastroenteritis so bad, well, it put me in the hospital from dehydration. Yes, my butthole was sore.
Anyhow, day of the colonoscopy my Other Half drove me to the place where it is done. I had to change into one of those stupid open-in-the-back gowns but both the gown and the blanket they gave me were pre-warmed, which helped make it all just a tiny bit better. They took me into a room, I got up on the gurney, the anesthesia guy started an IV, we had my usual song-and-dance about my allergies (there was some concern about a severe reaction in my case), and then the nice gentleman said “I’m going to give you the versed no-”
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“- recovery room, just relax, here’s another warm blanket, and we’ll bring your husband in.”
Yes, the actual procedure was a complete blank. I have absolutely zero recollection of it. It was like they flipped a switch to turn my brain off, then they turned it back on again. I am glad they warned me about that effect. If I hadn’t been expecting it I would have found it very alarming, but as it is, it was sort of an interesting effect.
Yes, there was farting. And whatever medical cocktail they had given me made me just a little uninhibited and turned off my inside voice, so when I let off a particularly juicy fart my first impulse was to say “CAN I HAVE SOMETHING TO WIPE MY ASS?” in my “outside voice”. This caused my spouse more embarrassment than anyone else, the staff there just handed me something to wipe my ass in a totally matter of fact manner and, well, at that moment I didn’t really care.
So yes, you do need someone to drive you home because you might be just a little goofy but if you are you could be totally oblivious of that fact.
The end result (heh, heh) is that the prep is the unpleasant part, largely because you remember it, and the actual procedure is a complete and total blank. Which is just as well, because, really, it’s not something I particularly feel a need to remember.
I also recommend trying to see the humorous side to all this, as that also helps.
Somehow I missed that part of my instructions and showed up by myself with no one to drive me home. They immediately went to reschedule I pointed out that there must be another way. I know they do it in some countries without drugs. The GI doctor was the one who saved my life in the hospital so he knew I was both stubborn and very pain tolerant so he agreed to do it sans drugs of any kind for his first time ever. Sure, it hurt like hell but only at certain points like during the deep turns they had to make with the scope. There was only about 3 minutes of extreme pain during the 45 minute procedure and the rest was either just uncomfortable or unnoticeable. It felt mainly like intense cramps and a little like getting hit in the nuts.
Hey, when it was over, it was over. I just stood up and walked straight out to my car and got on with my day. The only additional pain I had was that he didn’t even offer to buy me dinner afterwards. With drugs, it can’t be that bad. Overestimate how bad it will be and come away pleasantly surprised.
Prep kinda sucked. Actual procedure was nothing. I’d rather have it done than get a root canal.
And I drove myself home with no problems.
It was a breeze for me. I have heard horror stories though.
On my own I decided to eat a low residue diet (you can google it of course, but basically: protein, plenty of fats, easily digestible starches, very little fiber) for about a week beforehand. It appeared to work, because I only ‘went’ about 6 times during the prep (Dulcolax and Miralax). There just wasn’t much to be expelled. I also didn’t finish drinking the whole prep. When I was admitted I told the nurse I didn’t finish it, and she said that as long as I had had multiple clear liquid movements, that was fine.
The actual procedure was nothing. I had Versed, don’t remember a thing, had zero pain in my guts or butt, and didn’t even fart afterward.
You have great advice here.
The only thing I would add is that the gross Movi-Prep was MUCH easier to take when (as noted) it was cold…and I could drink it much faster (and mostly bypass the tongue) when I used a straw. Still disgusting though.
Good luck, you’ll do fine
The only thing I’d note about the colonoscopy is that they do sedate you with Versed, a drug that induces amnesia. Even after you’re awake, you may have trouble forming memories for a few minutes. My gastroenterologist has the unfortunate habit of telling me the results immediately after the procedure and I always nod and say “thank you”. The next day, I have just the faintest memory of the discussion, sort of like you might remember a dream. So make sure you get stuff written down.
I’ve had two. As everyone says, the prep is the difficult part. You stop eating anything solid for a day before, and then you go with the laxatives.
The first time, you put it into Gatorade and drank about a gallon of it. The flavor was fine, but I got very sick of the Gatorade. You have to go all the time, but it’s not like you have to run or ruin your underwear.
The second time, there was a solution you made up by adding water and powder. It tasted like lemon-flavored sea water. I’d suggest you make up all the solution the morning before; the colder it is, the less vile it tastes.
The procedure is just a matter of checking in, getting an IV, and being wheeling into the examination room. You shake hands with the doctor and you’re unconscious about two minutes after they start. Next thing you’re in the recovery room.
Federal law states that any thread about colonoscopies must include a humorous link to
Dave Barry’s funny yet touching description of the how, and the why.
Already linked in Post #2.