Colonoscopy Baby

I am so not looking forward to Friday. I have had this before but the thought of two days of shitting through the eye of a needle leaves me cold.


I had one in December. What I didn’t know was that I was supposed to have someone there to drive me home afterwards and I didn’t bring anyone with me. The doctor said that the only way he would go through with it was if I went without any anesthesia whatsoever which he hardly ever did but was willing to try it if I insisted. I had already prepped for it for two days and there was no way I was doing that again so I went for it. It wasn’t horrible except for brief periods of intense cramping when the scope was trying to make a tight turn. I am glad I had it done that way because I could just get up and walk away at the end instead of having to recover from anesthesia but I have a really high pain tolerance. Good luck and I hope they don’t find anything at all.

You have a far higher tolerance of pain than I ever could imagine.

I have had one before- five years ago. However, it was a bit of a cheat as I had a hernia operation immediately after so I got a lot of the good knockout juice.

I am hopeful they won’t find anything- except that the sun doesn’t shine out of there at all.

I opened this thread expecting to have to break the news to the OP that babies don’t come from there…

Thanks for adding to my nightmare.

I had two. The biggest problems had to do with the inconvenience: waking up very early for the appointment, sitting around waiting for my turn.

In terms of prep it was different for me each time. First time I had to drink about a gallon of what tasted like salt water. I literally couldn’t do it and just went to bed at about one or two AM with several ounces left. Second time was much easier. Just drank some stuff that cleaned out my system, no big deal.

The only pain I remember was the second time. I think they pump a lot of air into your system and they are supposed to drain it. I guess the doctor forgot to drain it, so I had mild stomach cramps for a few hours.

I’ve had two, and I hope by the time I’m 60 and this has to be an annual thing, they’ve come up with a better way to do the prep. Both times my experience drinking that stuff was awful. There really isn’t anything to compare it to. I felt like I was torturing myself. Have you read the indications on that bottle? Mine said over half of patients experience vomiting, and advised people who vomit to wait a few minutes and then drink some more. Ugh.

My experiences were quite different – first time through, they didn’t put me all the way under but I don’t remember most of it so I presume I wasn’t conscious. I came through with virtually no pain afterward.

The second time, they DID use general, and I woke up laughing hysterically. I couldn’t stop laughing. The nurses were amused. But they had done several biopsies and omg I was pretty miserable for days afterward. Once the general wore off I felt all cut up inside.

Mid-40s, never had one. WTF does this mean?

This was me. My wife said I cracked the same 3 jokes about a dozen times each. :rolleyes:

Really, the cleaning-out-drinking-day before ordeal is the worst part of it. Plan on mostly watching TV and flushing.

I have NO idea what he means by that, either. Needle? WTF?

I can’t imagine why they still make people drink that gallon of “Golitely” (sp?); that stuff is incredibly unpleasant- salty, viscous like saliva, and extremely nauseating. I know that there are at least two alternatives that (for me) were far less unpleasant.


Good luck. I have not yet had one of these, so I can’t say how bad it is. I’ve had tons of other tests, but not that one … yet.

I was curious, too. I know you have to “clean house” before hand but where does the needle come in?

I guess my doctor has had patients show up without drivers. I was told, repeatedly, that I would need someone to drive me home. When the doctor told me that I was going to get a colonoscopy, he told me this. His instruction sheet said, quite clearly, that if I didn’t have a driver that he wouldn’t do the procedure. The hospital (it was an outpatient procedure) mentioned that I’d need a driver, too, when I made the appointment. And each time, I was told that the driver had to stay at the hospital with me, that he couldn’t leave and come back for me later, and that a cab driver did NOT qualify as a driver for me. I don’t think that I would have had it done with no anesthesia…but then, I’d hate to have done that prep and then not had the scopy done.

Hospitals vary a lot in their post-procedure escort policies. Mine just told me “You’re not leaving alone” and took the name and number of the friend who would be picking me up, but they were fine with having her show up to collect me after the procedure. At the other extreme, I’ve heard of hospitals that not only insist on the driver coming with you, but insist the driver must be a DRIVER–going home on mass transit, or in a cab, is not allowed. (That would never fly at the urban hospital I used, which is a few blocks from a subway stop; my friend walked me home.) The requirement to not leave alone makes medical sense (I was also advised not to sign legal documents or make major decisions for at least 24 hours after the procedure); everything else is probably the work of hospital lawyers.

The laxative that you take the night before is industrial strength. You will spend hours on the pot and after the first few waves what you are expelling is brown water at high velocity. And you’ll be bearing down to get it out.

I’ve never heard the threading the needle phrase, but I’ve had a colonoscopy. It fits the sensation well enough. Make sure you have something to read. Not that you’ll be able to concentrate on it the whole way through.

And I don’t think that they can drain the air out afterwards. I think at least some of it has to work out naturally. The nurse in the recovery room kept reminding me that I’d have to “get all the air out” and that I shouldn’t be embarassed about it because it was “the doctor’s air.” Coming down from the relaxant, the idea of passing someone else’s “air” would have cracked me up, if I’d been more awake.

It wasn’t bad for me at all! You might get lucky. The worst thing for me was that I had to fast for even longer because I got an endoscopy at the same time. I feel horrid when I don’t eat.

The prep was okay (gatorade with Miralax), tasted fine to me, but I felt a little sick and then vomited a little after I finished it. I pooped about 6 times total from starting the prep until I went to bed. No terrible urgency, and the last three ‘movements’ were clear. Peeing out of my ass was kind of interesting. I might have been helped by the fact that I eat a very low-residue diet, so there just wasn’t a lot of shit in there to come out. If you want less in your guts, stick to meat/dairy/fat and simple starches. Low fiber.

I was put under, afterwards it was as though nothing had happened, except that I felt dopey the rest of the day. No pain, no stomach disturbances, and I did not fart afterwards, even once. Which was nice because my boyfriend was driving me. I only had tiny biopsies taken though.

I was really dreading this and it was nice to find out it can be so easy. For some. Hope it is for you!

Two days? I started the evening before having the procedure in the morning - so more like 15 hours (and with 8 hours sleep in the middle).

This is the funniest thing you need to see before you have it done:
(from an old hilarious dope thread)

I did this, but because my doctor suggested well in advance that, if I did it without anaesthesia, I could drive myself right in to work after it was done. And I agreed.

Evidently my doctor is a sadist, and I am a masochist.