Sorry, I just got back to this thread. “Shitting through the eye of a needle” (or “shitting through the eye of a needle at 40 paces without touching the sides”) is just a saying meaning you have projectile diarrhea. I thought it was a common saying. (Difficult saying that politely- people just know what it means 
)
Can’t say I’ve ever heard it. I wouldn’t have guessed the meaning, either. In my experience projectile diarrhea isn’t well-collimated and directional.
Just a saying. Whether it is accurate I have no idea.
I’ve had two. The procedure is a snap (they used anesthetic). You just fall asleep and wake up when it’s over.
The night before is not as bad as some say. It’s not the time on the toilet – other than it interrupting things, it works out OK; each trip is only a couple of minutes. The worst part is the laxative.
The first time, it was a powder you put into Gatorade. The problem was drinking down the Gatorade. Toward the end, your tonsils are floating.
The second time, they used Moviprep. That seemed to be less to drink, though it tasted vile. The second dose was worse because it hadn’t had time to really cool. I’d suggest you make up both doses in the morning and chill them down thoroughly.
The other issue is the diet of clear liquids you need to have the day before. Jello is good, as is bullion (I found some “natural bullion” that tasted pretty good without being overly salty), but expect to feel hungry most of that day.
What are those alternatives?
I’ll most likely be in the club some time this year and I wanna be prepared to insist on the “easiest” version possible.
The procedure itself wasn’t as bad as the prep, I was awake through both of mine and for the first one they had the camera displayed on a large monitor in front of me so I could watch if I wanted. It was fairly boring so I only watched for a bit.
that was pretty much what I was told after mine as well.
I’ve had two colonoscopies, my first was two Novembers ago where they found a precancerous polyp about the size of a golf ball. I watched the whole procedure on screen, so I got to see them cut it out, then they couldn’t stop the bleeding, so they wheeled me out to recover a bit, then took me back in and tried it a second time. That time the air forced up in there really began to hurt.
I got a second one this spring and everything was OK, so I’m good (for now).
The prep work is a huge annoyance but without that colonoscopy, who knows what condition I’d be in right now. So I recommend them.
Had two of these already. Piece of cake. Be sure to let them knock you out. One second I was wheeled into the operating room, the next second I woke up in a recuperation area. The first time I had to drink a lot of some fluid the day before to clear out the “area” and it was awful. The second time was a whole lot easier because it was less fluid and it had some taste to it. The good news is that you only have to have one of these exams every five years. Yes, you do need to have someone drive you home. The only thing that I didn’t expect was how the drugs essentially wiped out my memory of most of that day, including the drive home when I was fully conscious.
I go into the hospital at 2 pm Friday and start prepping tomorrow (Wednesday) with the low fibre diet. Then the laxative or prune juice on Wednesday night and clear fluids only on Thursday. The “Picoprep” Thursday night and Friday morning.
I know I will be hungry.
:eek:
Did they ask you if you wanted the monitor where you could see it, or was that just the deal? I wanted to be a doctor up until dissecting a frog in 8th grade biologly, so I’m pretty sure the monitor would just squick me right the hell out.
My GE told me there were two alternatives to the horrible stuff, and I opted for the one she recommended. If my failing memory serves, it was a dark syrup that was supposed to taste ghastly, but compared to the gallon of disgusting juice it was a walk in the park.
I don’t remember how many doses one takes during the purging, but each dose was a spoonful of the nasty syrup immediately chased with a glass of water.
.
Jesus Christ. If I ever have to go through this someday, I kind of hope they manage to find a baby or something in there.
I’ve had two so far. Colorectal cancer runs in my family, and although being female “saves” me to an extent, I’m still considered high risk.
Both times I drank OTC stuff, the name of which I can’t recall at the moment. It comes in a small green glass bottle. It’s fizzy. It tastes not entirely unpleasant. It makes you as clean as a whistle – I mean CLEAN.
First time I was put under “twilight” anesthesia. I remember the nurse saying that I’d probably not remember anything. The one thing I do remember with utmost clarity was staring up at a screen watching a probe making its way through a winding tunnel with puffy sides. I laughed. The doctor told me not to. I stopped laughing and became mesmerized.
Second time I was knocked out. My husband told me I was in recovery for awhile.
Both times I had to have someone drive me home. The doctor would have refused to do it otherwise.
Here’s mine:
I got the gallon of prep juice, which was the consistency of water, and tasted like some sort of Crystal Lite flavor that never made it out of market research. I drank about half. Any more would have just been redundant.
They gave me demerol which put me into a twilight sleep. It was about 10 seconds of the warmest, most pleasant sensation I’ve ever experienced. From the second it hit my IV, to about my shoulder - then I was out. I woke up halfway through to incredibly intense pain. The nurse said something equivalent to “oh shit, he’s awake” and they quickly gave me another jolt of demerol. I distinctly remember the doc being VERY rough with the scope during this brief spell - like a plumber with a drain snake trying to get it through a clogged turn in the pipe.
Next thing I knew, I was in recovery waking up. I was uncomfortable for the next day or so, but not in significant pain. Since having it done though, I have had a very minor issue with rectal itching. Never had this prior, but it’s been consistently intermittent over the ten years since I had the scope, and I can’t help but wonder whether he could have been a little more gentle with me back there.
Never heard the “through the eye of a needle” phrase, but having endured the “butt light” as my doc calls it, I knew exactly what the OP was talking about.
Personally, I would skip all the low fibre through clear fluids thing. The prep juice is so powerful, that I can’t imagine anything surviving it. Mine knocked stuff out of me I ate in Junior High.
Well, half way through the prepping and totally sick of it. I would love to skip the clear fluids but I’m afraid I would have to do it again.
You’re almost there! Don’t stop, you WILL have to do it over. Get that pipe cleaned out! 
Stick with it. There’s no sense in quitting now, because yes, you would have to do it over. The prep really and truly is the worst part, once you’re done with that the rest is easy.
Oh, I have no thoughts of giving it away but thanks for your support. Was an interesting night though- the stuff was supposed to wear off so you could sleep (or at least stop working). It didn’t- I was up several times during the night. Confused the cats though- they assumed when I got up in the dark it was breakfast time.
Not for me, the shits continue for about a week, leaving me well dehydrated and having a CPPD flare from the dehydration. And yes I was swilling water as fast as I could get it down. It was just leaving as fast as it was going in.
I now will only clean out with a multiday clear liquid diet and an enema. Any doctor who suggests otherwise can sod off.