It's been WEEKS since there's been a colonoscopy thread!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’ve got my ninth one coming up on Monday. Oh joy.

Well, since I’m one of those whose life was saved by a timely screening procedure quite a while back, let’s just say that it may not be fun, but it beats the alternative. With a friend who developed stage 4 cancer before her 50th, it’s much on my mind.

New prep option available: SuTab - a pill version of SuPrep. I have not opened the container, but I gather there’s actually a measured drinking vessel in it, to make sure you drink 16 ounces of water along with the pills, and another 16 shortly after that, and so on. I think I’ll just use my own drinking container, and make sure I take in enough liquid (this has never been an issue for me). I’d previously used OsmoPrep (nasty horse pills), then PrepoPik (picosulfate), then ClenPiq which is the “improved” (read: the other stuff was out of patent, but this is a premixed version that is not better in any way); doc said the SuTab is giving good results. He asked if I could deal with large pills, and showed them to me - I choke down larger ones on a daily basis.

Brilliantly, I opted for a 7:30 procedure time - which means leaving home before 6:30 AM. With a split dose regimen, this basically means I’ll be taking round 1 mid-afternoon and round 2 about midnight. I won’t be getting any sleep!

They’re doing north and south this time around. I hope they do the upper GI first, else I might come out of the sedation with a rather literal shit-eating grin :poop: .

I always go into these with a joke. Too late to order a rubber stamp to make up my own “have x done and the next is free” (horrifyingly, there are commercially available rubber stamps with appropriate icons on them…).

So if you can come up with any jokes to use, let me know. This thread has served me well but after 11+ years, I’ve used everything there that works. If all else fails I can try something riffing on “nine” / “nein”, or “Maybe I shoulda watched that TV show 8 Is Enough”.

I’m on record as saying that anyone within a hundred miles of the DC metro area can hit me up for a ride to/from theirs. Someone is actually taking me up on that, in April, which is interesting timing as we’ll be in Florida for most of that month. I might find myself driving up that weekend, then driving out to the buddy’s house that Monday morning. Our car, which has spent a lot of garage time since COVID, is going to be wondering what it did to deserve the workout.

ETA: Cannot have red, orange, blue or purple liquids on the “clear liquids” day. Green and yellow are fine. It strikes me that an appletini is green… :cocktail:. yeah, I know, no alcohol. A girl can dream…

2

Hope it goes well. I had always somewhat scoffed at colonoscopies until I found out I had polyps already at 35. Now I’m advised to get one every 3-5 years.

3

Last time I went in when they asked how the prep went, I told them that I ate as much as possible up until the prep cutoff so I could get my money’s worth out of it.

4

Hah!

I once went in for day surgery (wrist surgery) and the usual questions “have you eaten since midnight”. I said “No, except for the cheeseburger I had on the drive here!”.

At the look on her face, I quickly interjected “Joking! The only place that might have sold me such a thing is the 7-11. And a 7-11 cheeseburger would NOT be worth risking my life for.”.

5

My doc called it a ‘mani-pedi.’

I had good luck with the Sutab, quite a bit less unpleasant than drinking the usual glop.

6

Gee…am I the only one who actually enjoys the whole thing?
Well, mabe not actually enjoy it, but I do find it kind of relaxing and easy.
“Huh???” you say?–well, let me tell y’all about the good side of a colo exam:

You see, the reason I don’t mind at all doing the prep and the procedure, is …that it gives me two quiet days all to myself.

The first time I did it, I was terrified— I had heard so many horror stories. But then I discovered that there’s nothing to be afraid of. So a few years later when I did it again, I set everything up for a nice relaxing day.
And it was easy!!!

The first time, I knew of course that there would be a day of diarrhea, and that sounded just horrible and painful, because we all know from experience that diarrhea is associated with stomach infections, lots of painful gas, and very painful stomach cramps…But then I discovered that the prep is not at all the same as diarrhea.

I just drank one small glass of water with a powdered medicine. No problem.
Then the powder took effect, and turned my intestines into a slippery pipeline.
And from that slippery pipeline, a whole bunch of, well, shit just slipped out. It took about 2 hours and several trips to the toilet. Not a whole lotta fun, but not painful.
And after that, well, I was all shitted-out.
I drank water all day, and the water flowed through the pipeline and out. Basically, it was like pissing…but out of the the wrong orifice. A weird feeling, but nothing painful or unpleasant.

And now for the “enjoyable” part of the story:
I set aside two days, and told everybody that I would be unavailable.
I told the family that one bathroom was off limits–it’s for me, and me only.
And then I sat all day in front of the TV and the computer, watching silly cat videos, and just vegging out. No phone calls, no thinking about work or anything serious…Just casual television stuff and web browsing, interrupted every 20-30 minutes by a couple minutes on the toilet. Then the next morning I get driven to the clinic, lay down on a table, and wake up again an hour later with zero sensation of anything actually happening . Then I get driven home, crawl into bed and sleep soundly for 3 or 4 hours , when I suppose the anesthesia wears off.

So I get a full day of private space at home with all the screen time I want. Followed by a half a day of bed rest and playing zombie. Then I wake up, weak because I’ve ingested zero calories for almost two days,.so I eat lots of sugary foods without feeling guilty.

All-in-all, it’s two days of “me” time. No hassles , no responsibilities, no worries.
So what’s all the fuss about, huh ?

7

LOL!! Spot on!!

I don’t enjoy the prep, but it’s not horrible - partly because I refused the gallon-of-glurge approach from the beginning. The worst part is the damn IV - I’ve got crappy (hah!) veins. First time around, my husband wanted to use the bathroom long enough to take a shower. I suggested that this might lead to problems. He used a different bathroom.

And that very brief instant between “ouch, that propofol hurts like hell” and “lights out” is kinda fun.

8

I had one last month. Prep was no bother, and the results were great. I’m 69 and won’t need another for ten years.

9

Oh, yeah. I had to do them every 3-4 months for a year. No problem, really. I do the Miralax powder and Dulcolax pills over the course of 2 days (sluggish system) and it’s no trouble. I would always schedule myself to work those days so I would be busy and not focusing on not eating. I eat a lot of jello since it has a little protein, a lot of broth since it has electrolytes, and no Gatorade. I hate that shit. Then a nice nap, lol, and a giant lunch afterward!
The worst part is having to have my DH take a day off work to transport me.

10

Just had mine yesterday. My polyp farm is slowing a bit, just two this time vs five in my last one. Worst part was that they ran an hour behind due to overnight snow and someone on the staff got held up by an accident. Somehow I resisted the temptation to ask the doc if he rear-ended someone. Prep this time was nice- Sutab pills. 12 the night before, 12 the morning of. Much better than that god-awful mag citrate.

11

I just scheduled mine yesterday. Asked if there were any options re: the prep. They said the doc required 2x 2 liters. Not a big deal, but not over pleasant either.

12

I had mine a month ago. Prep was worse this time than the first time I did it - I had the Dulcolax/Miralax prep, and I think first time I did flavorless Miralax. Last time was orange, and I was literally nauseous just looking at it after the first 8 oz glass. So basically it was just the Dulcolax. But I’d done a low-residue diet the 2 days before, and the doctor said the prep was good.

I had one 5 mm pre-cancerous polyp removed. Next time in 5-7 years. The worst is having to get a ride.

StG

13

Bleh.

Did you ask your doctor for an explanation of WHY he requires that version? I freely admit that there may be some people for whom it truly is required.

But failing that, I have to assume your doctor is either an idiot or too damn lazy to read the research on less inhumane variants. I recommend pushing back on that edict.

And… the prep has officially begun its pregame action. I made several batches chewable gelatin (one of Jello pineapple, one using juice and unflavored gelatin). As of now, I’m on clear liquids; I actually cheated a bit a few minutes ago by eating a couple of mini pretzels after I took my nightly pills, as sometimes it feels tough to choke them down (something I’ll mention to the doc to check out as part of the “mani” part of the process). I deliberately stayed up stoopid late, so that when I wake up in the early afternoon, I can get straight down to the awful business.

Sunday night will involve little to no sleep - my procedures are at 7:30, so I need to do the prep shortly after midnight. I’ll probably just bring the iPad into the bathroom with some TV shows queued up.

14

If you do it without sedation, you don’t need to get a ride, you can drive yourself. I’ve done it twice, and there are a couple of moments of crampy discomfort as they shove the tube up. They do the exam as they pull it out, and i enjoyed watching the screen.

You can still take the day off, but instead of lying in bed feeling groggy, i played board games with a friend.

15

I have done it without sedation too. The discomfort, while they are going in, can be helped by pressing with a hand where it hurts. It’s a queer sensation to feel the tube moving under your hand, but the doctor said that the pain was because the intestines move and a soft pressure will keep everything in place. If you have been operated in the stomach, the intestines have been cut loose, and they will move more, or that’s what the doctor said.

16

Round 1 of the prep seems to about over… nearly 5 hours after beginning. This is, sadly, typical for me.

Gonna try to snooze a bit, then get up at 1 AM to do round 2.

Housemate made homemade bread first thing this morning. Dammit.

17

They must hate you.

18

I just scheduled my second (every ten years). I’ve been hearing others talk about just having to drink a bottle of Gatorade with the powder in it. I’m thinking “Great!”. The last time I had to drink a gallon of the crap and it was horrible. So when I scheduled my next one, I asked if the prep drink has changed from the gallon size jug. She told me no. They’ve found that the gallon of prep is the one that works best. :frowning_face: :frowning_face: :frowning_face:

19

You can argue with them on that. There are plenty of alternatives that work well - I’ve now tried 4 of them personally. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, doctors who refuse to consider alternatives to the gallon preps are idiots and/or willfully cruel. So: refuse the gallon. Plenty of places see adequate results with other methods. I’m highly motivated to do an adequate prep, and have never had the gallon of cruelty mandated. Oh, and what’s in the gallon? Primary ingredient: polyethyene glycol. Same thing as Miralax.

And let me tell you, Sutab works just fine.

Too damn well, actually.

I posted that things were slowing down after the first dose. That was… not completely true. Things never stopped. It just slowed down to “every 20 minutes”. I tried to snooze a bit but was forced to run to the toilet every time I dozed off.

Things were still happening when I started the second bout, about 1 AM. And it never stopped. Not when I had to leave for the office - one last dash before going to the car. Not when I got there. They had me change into a gown. I said “Imma leave the disposables on until I have to” which turned out to be a good thing, as when they had me stand up to walk down to the procedure room, stuff happened (and I had to run into the bathroom to deal with it).

Not even DURING THE PROCEDURES. When I came to, they told me they’d had to change my gown while I was under sedation. At least there, they didn’t have to mop the floor… I assume.

Not when I got home. I took a dose of Imodium as soon as I got home, and that’s what finally did things.

Not to mention, I suspect that the, er, output is highly acidic. The skin “down there” was so raw that even using the bidet was extremely painful. Not at “ground zero” so much, but everywhere ELSE. And quite bluntly I literally NEVER made it to the toilet in time - I went through most of a package of adult diapers.

I am not a fan. Doc chirpily said that next time I’d just need to start things a couple hours earlier. Yeah… no. Not unless I have permission to take an Imodium once things have, well, cleared out after each round. And maybe not even then.

And there will be a next time - a couple of largish polyps (one was 2 cm) were found and I’m now down to an annual schedule. Bleh.

20

Thanks - I think I’ll see if I they will let me use something else. Drinking 3/4 of a gallon of that sludge in the evening and then knowing that when I woke up the next morning I had another quart to drink was the worst part of the entire experience. I never had to “run” to the bathroom, I don’t think I even had to get up in the middle of the night. I cleaned out easily with no muss or fuss. :blush: