That’s right, it’s that time of the year, when the Steelers run roughshod over the rest of the league in their quest to bring Lombardi Trophy Number Seven back to Pittsburgh in grand tradition. Before we get started, I have a little housekeeping to do.
I’ve always known that there were a few people that simply couldn’t stand my annual Steelers threads, but two posters in particular were pointed in saying so, one in last year’s thread and one in a thread about things they hate on the SDMB. So, in honor of them, I would like to dedicate this thread to Robot Arm and MadTheSwine. They are the first posters so honored, and they should be immensely proud of their accomplishment. It is because of such people that I have the strength to carry on, and I will continue to honor such pioneers in the opening of all future threads.
Now, then. On to football.
The AFC North is the Steelers’ to win or lose. They have returned much the same team as the one that narrowly lost the Super Bowl to the Packers. Ben Roethlisberger has had an entire offseason to heal up, the defense (with one exception) is still strong, and the young wide receivers look to be pretty capable and able to get the job done. Hines Ward is a year older and might have lost a step, but Mike Wallace is a rocketship and they just signed Jerrico Cotchery so they have three solid wide receivers and good backups in Antonio Brown and Emmanuel Sanders. Heath Miller is still the lynchpin at tight end. The offensive line lost a few former starters, but they have second-year sensation Maurkice Pouncey back after his injury, and even with the losses it’s safe to say that the line couldn’t be much worse than it’s been over the last few years.
The defense still has the awesome line (featuring the vastly underrated Aaron Smith), linebacking corps, and its heart and soul in Troy Polamalu. What it doesn’t have is a really dependable secondary. Ike Taylor, known around these parts as “Goddamn” Ike Taylor with the inflection entirely dependent upon what kind of play he makes, is a pretty good cover cornerback but when he gets burned it’s worse than an arsonist in Hell. Worse, he broke his thumb in last night’s preseason game. Let’s hope that he does the job this year after signing a nice fat contract. Ryan Clark has been pretty dependable as well, but he’s too intent on demolishing people instead of wrapping them up. The bottom line is this: outside of Polamalu the secondary is suspect. Wow, you say, a rare moment of insight and honesty in my yearly ode to Pittsburgh invincibility! Perhaps, but the secondary has always been suspect and they still survive, albeit giving their fans a few heart attacks every year.
Special teams aren’t much to talk about with the new kickoff rule. This year is going to be touchback Heaven. It’s the punts that they need to really worry about. As long as they do an adequate job all is copacetic, they need no miracles from the special teams. Still, it’s good to have Sepulveda back. He looked great last night.
On to the rest of the division:
The hated Ratbirds: they lost some serious horsepower in the offseason. They cut Todd Heap and Derrick Mason, two of their finest, most dependable receivers. All they have left is Boldin and a bunch of fill-ins. When they can’t throw they’ll get stacked up in the box and won’t be able to run, either. It’s looking like it could be a long year for them, though they’re still a lock for second place. Their defense is solid as always, but Murderin’ Ray is getting older and is talking retirement. Suggs is a Steeler killer and always has been, but even so the Steelers have gotten the better of the Ravens over the past few years and I expect nothing different this year.
The Browns: Hey, they’re improving. It’s a rare year indeed that you can say that, but they will go only as far as Peyton Hillis’ legs and Colt McCoy’s arm can take them. That’s not very far, or at least not far enough. It’ll be good to have a reason to hate the Browns again, but it won’t happen this year.
The Bengals: OK, let’s be straight about this. The Bengals absolutely, positively suck. They will be in the running for the first pick in the draft next year. I have them as odds-on favorites in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. They have nothing else to look forward to.
I could talk in depth about the rest of the AFC, but my views on the other teams are well-known so I’ll hit the highlights.
The Jets got Plaxico Burress, but that doesn’t matter because Sanchez can’t get the ball to him. The Patriots better hope that the cancer that is Albert Haynesworth doesn’t eat them alive and that Ochocinco hasn’t lost a step like I believe he has. The Colts have concerns about Peyton Manning’s shoulder and better wrap their heads around the possibility of the start of the Curtis Painter era, also known as DOOM!
In the NFC, the odds-on favorite has to be the Packers. It just has to be. The Eagles, for all their big-name signings, are about to find out something that Redskins fans have known for years about trying to buy a championship with free agents: it doesn’t work. The total absence of arrogance from the Cowboys (or their fans, who seem to have finally accepted the reality of mediocrity) is welcome. The Saints will still be pretty strong, as will the Falcons and (maybe) the Giants. The ineptitude of the NFC West will be epic, just as it was last year, but in the end it won’t matter. The NFC is the Packers’ to win or lose.
That’s my preseason take. I could go on and on, but as it always is with the season, anything can happen. We’ll see how it goes.
As always, my objective prediction: Pittsburgh wins 12-13 games, earns at least the 2 seed, wins the AFC Championship over the hated Patriots by a touchdown, and get to the Super Bowl in a rematch with the Packers. This time the Steelers win by a touchdown in another dramatic thriller and bring the Lombardi Trophy back where it belongs, the City of Champions.