Tasteless or nearly tasteless foods

I have kept company with a woman from a Jewish family. She has given me food items, including now and then a package of motzas, which taste rather like bland, unsalted crackers. Personally, I can take matzos or leave them. [Shrug]
My Mom used to work with a Jewish woman named Velma, who introduced her to some Jewish foods. My Mom couldn’t accept motzas, however; she said they tasted like “cardboard.” Velma said it’s possible to get matzos in onion flavor; Mom said, “Oh, onion-flavord cardboard.” :D. (I told my friend about that; she laughed, as did her own mother!)
Aside from motzas, do any other Dopers consider particular foods tasteless or nearly so?

Porridge. But if I dont eat it, I wont have any pudding.

Celery. That’s why I always salt it although others prefer adding peanut butter.

Bri2k

I tried canned toddy palm fruits once - loads of (quite unpleasant, slimy-stringy) texture, but they were pretty close to tasteless. Faint flavour of starch - like I’d imagine the taste of wallpaper paste.

I’ve always considered rice cakes to be less tasty than Styrofoam.

Gonna move this thread to Cafe Society, because it deals with food (even though it’s not tasty) and opinions, rather than facts.

Celery is far from tasteless–so far that it’s often added to broths as a flavoring agent and then removed before serving. Its texture leaves a lot to be desired, IMO, but not flavorless.

In the porridge camp, white grits are pretty flavorless, before the addition of salt, pepper, butter, and cheese.

Poi

Poi (a component of taditional Hawaiian laus). It tastes like library paste.
Grits-tasteless.
American white bread (“Wonder” bread)-taste like cotton wool.

Rice cakes. [Homer Simpson] Hello! Hello! Hello, taste? Where are you?[/HS]

These threads always remind just how varied palates can be. It’s not a bad thing, and I really believe people when they say something tastes like nothing to them, but it’s one of those facts that runs counter to my own experience.

Flavors come in shades to me and I genrally rate things more from uninteresting (distilled water, plain rice cakes, cardboard) to palate dazzling (complex dishes, perfectly ripened fruit).

There have been a few times when people on the board have gotten into rows over whether things like green peppers have flavor, and it just seems to detract from the main thread’s intent. It may help others like me to make a mental translation when people say that something has no flavor. Perhaps think of it more in terms of the flavor being uninteresting to them.

Short of going into all sorts of details about chemicals, olfactory mechanics, and taste buds, there is no real way to get one side to see it the same as the other. Instead of simply insisting that things do or don’t have flavors, it may make the conversation more smooth if we make allowances for differences in the way people think about flavor.

Tofu. It tastes of nothing (well no, it does have a unique, subtle flavor on its own), but that’s actually a good thing. It’s like a sponge that absorbs the flavor of anything you cook it with.

Tomatoes and strawberries here in Australia have no taste. They look great but are almost flavorless.

By contrast when I was in South Korea a couple of years ago the tomatoes and strawberries tasted wonderful.

Oatmeal, unseasoned potatoes, rice.

White rice.
Plain pasta.
Mashed potatoes.
Ramen noodles.
Lettuce.
Bean sprouts.

Tofu isn’t tasteless, but it’s flavor is both very mild and easily overridden by other flavors. It’s like a flavor doppelganger.

Tomatoes when they’re out of season, which usually means a variety bred to be shippable, grown elsewhere, and shipped unripe. I only eat tomatoes during the months of July and August, when they’re locally grown (omigod, Jersey tomatoes) and super fresh and delicious.

Avocado. I can’t see the appeal. It tastes like a lot of squishy nothing.

Yeah, I’ll go with unripened fruit and things made with said fruit, like the cantaloupe sorbet someone brought to our last cookout.

The other stuff like potatoes and rice and such…well, it’s very mild and bland, but that’s not the same thing as not having a taste.

Draft lyrics:
If you don’t eat y’r porridge, you can’t have any pudding! How can you
have any pudding if you don’t eat y’r porridge?!

Stand without moving, laddie!

Nah…

Not that anyone would eat it like that, but unflavored gelatin and agar agar are pretty tasteless.

Rice noodles are also pretty bland by themselves.