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Old 09-09-2011, 02:49 AM
dougie_monty is offline
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Tasteless or nearly tasteless foods


I have kept company with a woman from a Jewish family. She has given me food items, including now and then a package of motzas, which taste rather like bland, unsalted crackers. Personally, I can take matzos or leave them. [Shrug]
My Mom used to work with a Jewish woman named Velma, who introduced her to some Jewish foods. My Mom couldn't accept motzas, however; she said they tasted like "cardboard." Velma said it's possible to get matzos in onion flavor; Mom said, "Oh, onion-flavord cardboard." . (I told my friend about that; she laughed, as did her own mother!)
Aside from motzas, do any other Dopers consider particular foods tasteless or nearly so?

Last edited by dougie_monty; 09-09-2011 at 02:51 AM.
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Old 09-09-2011, 03:05 AM
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Porridge. But if I dont eat it, I wont have any pudding.
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Old 09-09-2011, 03:15 AM
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Celery. That's why I always salt it although others prefer adding peanut butter.

Bri2k
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Old 09-09-2011, 03:34 AM
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I tried canned toddy palm fruits once - loads of (quite unpleasant, slimy-stringy) texture, but they were pretty close to tasteless. Faint flavour of starch - like I'd imagine the taste of wallpaper paste.
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Old 09-09-2011, 04:49 AM
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I've always considered rice cakes to be less tasty than Styrofoam.

Gonna move this thread to Cafe Society, because it deals with food (even though it's not tasty) and opinions, rather than facts.
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Old 09-09-2011, 05:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bri2k View Post
Celery. That's why I always salt it although others prefer adding peanut butter.

Bri2k
Celery is far from tasteless--so far that it's often added to broths as a flavoring agent and then removed before serving. Its texture leaves a lot to be desired, IMO, but not flavorless.

In the porridge camp, white grits are pretty flavorless, before the addition of salt, pepper, butter, and cheese.
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Old 09-09-2011, 06:23 AM
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Poi
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Old 09-09-2011, 06:42 AM
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Poi (a component of taditional Hawaiian laus). It tastes like library paste.
Grits-tasteless.
American white bread ("Wonder" bread)-taste like cotton wool.
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Old 09-09-2011, 06:56 AM
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Rice cakes. [Homer Simpson] Hello! Hello! Hello, taste? Where are you?[/HS]
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Old 09-09-2011, 07:48 AM
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These threads always remind just how varied palates can be. It's not a bad thing, and I really believe people when they say something tastes like nothing to them, but it's one of those facts that runs counter to my own experience.

Flavors come in shades to me and I genrally rate things more from uninteresting (distilled water, plain rice cakes, cardboard) to palate dazzling (complex dishes, perfectly ripened fruit).

There have been a few times when people on the board have gotten into rows over whether things like green peppers have flavor, and it just seems to detract from the main thread's intent. It may help others like me to make a mental translation when people say that something has no flavor. Perhaps think of it more in terms of the flavor being uninteresting to them.

Short of going into all sorts of details about chemicals, olfactory mechanics, and taste buds, there is no real way to get one side to see it the same as the other. Instead of simply insisting that things do or don't have flavors, it may make the conversation more smooth if we make allowances for differences in the way people think about flavor.
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Old 09-09-2011, 07:53 AM
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Tofu. It tastes of nothing (well no, it does have a unique, subtle flavor on its own), but that's actually a good thing. It's like a sponge that absorbs the flavor of anything you cook it with.
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Old 09-09-2011, 07:57 AM
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Tofu. It tastes of nothing (well no, it does have a unique, subtle flavor on its own), but that's actually a good thing. It's like a sponge that absorbs the flavor of anything you cook it with.
Tomatoes and strawberries here in Australia have no taste. They look great but are almost flavorless.

By contrast when I was in South Korea a couple of years ago the tomatoes and strawberries tasted wonderful.
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Old 09-09-2011, 08:03 AM
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Oatmeal, unseasoned potatoes, rice.
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Old 09-09-2011, 08:08 AM
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White rice.
Plain pasta.
Mashed potatoes.
Ramen noodles.
Lettuce.
Bean sprouts.
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Old 09-09-2011, 08:08 AM
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Tofu isn't tasteless, but it's flavor is both very mild and easily overridden by other flavors. It's like a flavor doppelganger.
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Old 09-09-2011, 08:17 AM
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Tomatoes and strawberries here in Australia have no taste. They look great but are almost flavorless.

By contrast when I was in South Korea a couple of years ago the tomatoes and strawberries tasted wonderful.
Tomatoes when they're out of season, which usually means a variety bred to be shippable, grown elsewhere, and shipped unripe. I only eat tomatoes during the months of July and August, when they're locally grown (omigod, Jersey tomatoes) and super fresh and delicious.
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Old 09-09-2011, 08:24 AM
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Avocado. I can't see the appeal. It tastes like a lot of squishy nothing.
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Old 09-09-2011, 08:25 AM
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Tomatoes and strawberries here in Australia have no taste. They look great but are almost flavorless.
Yeah, I'll go with unripened fruit and things made with said fruit, like the cantaloupe sorbet someone brought to our last cookout.

The other stuff like potatoes and rice and such...well, it's very mild and bland, but that's not the same thing as not having a taste.
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Old 09-09-2011, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Capitaine Zombie View Post
Porridge. But if I dont eat it, I wont have any pudding.
Draft lyrics:
If you don't eat y'r porridge, you can't have any pudding! How can you
have any pudding if you don't eat y'r porridge?!

Stand without moving, laddie!



Nah...
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Old 09-09-2011, 08:50 AM
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Not that anyone would eat it like that, but unflavored gelatin and agar agar are pretty tasteless.

Rice noodles are also pretty bland by themselves.
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Old 09-09-2011, 09:00 AM
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Yuca (Cassava)
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Old 09-09-2011, 09:04 AM
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There's a big difference between no taste and subtle taste. But I'll agree that unripe fruit and store-bought tomatoes come as close to tasteless as possible.
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Old 09-09-2011, 09:13 AM
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Ha! When I saw this thread title my first thought was "matzoh!" My landlord gives me a box every Passover (thinking, "that's what the Jews eat, right?" He's so cute). And there it sits till next year.
  #24  
Old 09-09-2011, 09:13 AM
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White rice.
You're not having good rice!
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Old 09-09-2011, 09:24 AM
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Hey, I like matzos! And I'm not remotely Jewish. I eat them with peanut butter.
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Old 09-09-2011, 09:33 AM
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Winter melon. Tastes 99% like water and 1% like generic vegetable flavouring.

Also the chewy rice cakes used in Chinese stir fries and Korean soups (among other places) are pretty bland.
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Old 09-09-2011, 09:47 AM
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If you let poi sour just a bit, it has a nice tangy flavor. But it has to be fresh. That instant stuff is crap.

Table water crackers. I believe that they actually suck the flavor out of whatever you put on top.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:00 AM
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Table water crackers. I believe that they actually suck the flavor out of whatever you put on top.
A local "everything's $1" Salvage Surplus grocery store actually was offering individual table water crackers to customers, to snack on, while shopping there. No topping, no flavors, just a dry plain table water cracker.

Last edited by Qadgop the Mercotan; 09-09-2011 at 10:01 AM.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:04 AM
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Jellyfish doesn't have much flavor.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:05 AM
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I hope they at least had water to wash down the dry crumbs!
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imasquare View Post
Tomatoes and strawberries here in Australia have no taste. They look great but are almost flavorless.

By contrast when I was in South Korea a couple of years ago the tomatoes and strawberries tasted wonderful.
I think tomatoes can be good in Australia if you choose well. I've been living in Germany for the past year and a half though and I have to say the strawberries blew my mind. So juicy. So much flavour. Each bite pure delight. Don't know if it was their superiority compared to Australia or the accessibility of direct farmer's produce and the fact that they prioritise seasonal vegetables rather than offering everything all year round.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:09 AM
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Strawberries are a funny creature. Supermarket strawberries, presumably shipped from California, are super bland. But I've had some from a farmer's market, and they are bursting with pink yumminess.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:15 AM
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You're not having good rice!
Well, there are nice basmati rices out there, etc. But plain white rice is bland.

My wife doesn't like rice. I was amazed when she told me that, like 17 years ago. Who the hell doesn't like rice? Any kind of rice? What a dingbat.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:25 AM
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My wife doesn't like rice. I was amazed when she told me that, like 17 years ago. Who the hell doesn't like rice? Any kind of rice? What a dingbat.
[Mitch Hedberg]

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.

[/Mitch Hedberg]

My vote goes to canned chicken.

Hey, canned chicken and tofu on white rice. Except for a vague feeling of fullness, you wouldn't even be sure you ate anything recently.

Last edited by El_Kabong; 09-09-2011 at 10:28 AM.
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Old 09-09-2011, 10:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post

My wife doesn't like rice. I was amazed when she told me that, like 17 years ago. Who the hell doesn't like rice? Any kind of rice? What a dingbat.
My ex-husband didn't like rice. He always said, "I ate enough of it during the war!"

Now his son doesn't like it. I'm like, "But it doesn't taste like anything!"
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Old 09-09-2011, 11:20 AM
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My ex-husband didn't like rice. He always said, "I ate enough of it during the war!"

Now his son doesn't like it. I'm like, "But it doesn't taste like anything!"
Exactly. I can see maybe not having a taste for curried rice, or wild rice, or perhaps a recipe with fish or something you don't like, but rice? Plain rice?

Verifiable dingbat.
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Old 09-09-2011, 11:33 AM
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By the way, has anyone here been to Cakewrecks? Plenty of tasteless food there.
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Old 09-09-2011, 11:59 AM
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Is water not considered food ? It usually is tasteless.
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Old 09-09-2011, 12:04 PM
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Celery. That's why I always salt it although others prefer adding peanut butter.

Bri2k
That's fascinating I love celery and it's naturally salty.. I can't imagine UPPING the salt content.
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Old 09-09-2011, 12:17 PM
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Cucumber, unless you have a sensitivity to it; I know a few people who loathe it, while the rest of us wonder what there is about it to loathe.

I once saw someone on here refer to 'bland foods, like egg or cheese.' I wondered what cheeses the poor man had been eating.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaffan View Post
Well, there are nice basmati rices out there, etc. But plain white rice is bland.

My wife doesn't like rice. I was amazed when she told me that, like 17 years ago. Who the hell doesn't like rice? Any kind of rice? What a dingbat.
I don't like rice. It's the texture, I think. I don't hate it, and wouldn't refuse to eat it, but I don't like it. Wholegrain rice is a lot better.
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Old 09-09-2011, 12:29 PM
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Cucumber, unless you have a sensitivity to it; I know a few people who loathe it, while the rest of us wonder what there is about it to loathe.
I don't loathe it, but I usually eat around it if it's in a salad. The other night, however, I grew a new appreciation for it when it's cold.

I ordered a dish at a Thai restaurant, and it had hot cucumbers in it. That's just a sin against man and God.
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Old 09-09-2011, 12:55 PM
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Snails: when cooked in garlic and btter, they taste like garlic and butter.
Summer squash-you have to add salt, pepper and butter-then it tastes like salt, pepper and btter. I don't know why people bother to eat it.
Iceberg lettuce: tasteless withot salad dressing
Abalone: despite its high cost, it really tastes like vulcanized rubber
Cucumber: crunchy, but tasteless
"Light" beers: tastes like carbonated water
  #43  
Old 09-09-2011, 01:04 PM
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The point of matzos isn't for them to taste good. The point is that, while you eat them you should be thinking about what it must be like to be stuck in a desert for forty years.

That being said, matzos are great if you spread a little butter on them.
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Old 09-09-2011, 01:32 PM
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The point of matzos isn't for them to taste good. The point is that, while you eat them you should be thinking about what it must be like to be stuck in a desert for forty years.
Leave it to us Jews to perfect "guilt food!"
  #45  
Old 09-09-2011, 01:44 PM
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I've always found kiwifruit to be virtually taste-free... its primary purpose seems to be decorative. But maybe I haven't had good kiwifruit.
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Old 09-09-2011, 01:52 PM
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I've always found kiwifruit to be virtually taste-free... its primary purpose seems to be decorative. But maybe I haven't had good kiwifruit.
I think you got bad kiwis. They tend to range from tart to pretty sweet. Very similar in flavor to strawberries.
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Old 09-09-2011, 01:57 PM
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Styrafoam cups and rice cakes. Tried both, couldn't tell the difference.
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Old 09-09-2011, 02:04 PM
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I've always found kiwifruit to be virtually taste-free... its primary purpose seems to be decorative. But maybe I haven't had good kiwifruit.
Some kiwi fruits are really good, some are blah.

But speaking of decorative but tasteless fruits, I nominate the dragon fruit. It has a teensy bit of sweet flavour, a teensy bit of radish-y flavour, and not much else. Looks great, though.
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Old 09-09-2011, 02:05 PM
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Tomatoes and strawberries here in Australia have no taste. They look great but are almost flavorless.

By contrast when I was in South Korea a couple of years ago the tomatoes and strawberries tasted wonderful.
I came here to say "out of season strawberries", because they are all texture (bad, horrible, seedy texture) and no taste. Tomatoes, although very taste reduced, still have some tomato essence.
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Old 09-09-2011, 02:10 PM
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Styrafoam cups and rice cakes. Tried both, couldn't tell the difference.
Rice cakes are disks. Styrofoam cups are truncated hollow cones. That's how you tell them apart.
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