Flyting is the closest term to what this is all about. It’s about halfway between a rap battle and a poetry slam. They can be a whole lot of fun, so we’ll give it a try here. If the limerick version works out, we’ll follow it up with other poetry forms.
THE RULES:
[ol]
[li]Every response in the thread must be in the form of a limerick. Please look it up if you’re not sure what that is.[/li][li]All posts must be original limericks, written just for this contest.[/li][li]Your post must insult the previous poster and/or the previous poster’s limerick. Our normal insult rules in this forum are suspended in this thread (by posting in this thread, you are implicitly granting permission to the next person to insult you).[/li][li]You may insult ONLY the person who made the previous post.[/li][li]Don’t be mean, drag in subjects from other threads, or get overly personal. This is supposed to be fun! The Game Room mods will have final say over what “mean” means ;)[/li][li]The contest will run for one week from the time of this OP. After that time, we will close the contest and open a new thread to vote for winners. You do not have to participate to vote.[/li][li]You may post as many “slam” limericks in the thread as you wish, but don’t post two in a row. Let someone else post in between.[/li][/ol]
Since there’s no previous poster for me to go after, I’ll just toss out something to get you started…
Here's the first verse in the thread,
It's quick; off the top of my head.
It's a throwaway verse,
Simple and terse,
Now, insult 'till the cowards have fled!
There was a Wombat who said “that’ll
be fun; just like a rap battle!”
Well I say good luck
having one that don’t suck
on a site that’s as white as Seattle.
You may think that you’re rockin’ and rollin’
But be careful your head’s not too swollen;
From the view I have here
It does rather appear
That you’ve got a “pho” stuck in your “colon”.
On reading this rhyme, with a sneer,
“Date Annie?” - thought I - "huh, no fear
"She may be full of class,
"She may have a cute ass,
“But she comes only once every year!”
You say you’ll find no satiation
in only Ann-ual conjugation
but if it’s true what they say,
then it’s only fair play,
since she would get total deflation.
So, the man who at birth was named James
thinks he’ll easily win rhyming games.
But I’ll bet when poor Jimmy
isn’t granted a “gimme”
it’s his Chitwood he turns to and blames.
Asimovian would like us to think
(as his handle implies with a wink)
of Isaac, he of book;
we should hence overlook
that his rhymes, like his sh*t, oft do stink
Malacandra’s a planet, you see
Out in space, where you can’t hear a squee
. Your poems are there
. “Out in space,” I declare
And no good to Earth-folk like me
I’m guessing that poem amounts
To a feeble attempt at a pounce
But instead of attacking,
There’s something it’s lacking:
This **Dead Cat **just ain’t got no bounce.
As to mocking his name, I’m in fetters,
For it’s only a jumble of letters,
But his rhyme is quite dire -
Hold his toes to the fire
'Til he learns to stop aping his betters!