In the forum called Cafe Society
We outhip the staff of Variety
With cultural knowledge
You can’t get in college
Unspoiled by any propriety!
Every Doper with brains masturbates
To a juicy thread in Great Debates
You’re wrong and I’m right!
No, you’re wrong, here’s a cite!
Who wins? That forever awaits.
The gerbils’ morale drops to nuttin’
their collars begin to unbutton
no lunch break coming
the wheels must be humming
For all the new threads by BrainGlutton
Hey newbies, the rules here are few
like don’t post a WAG in GQ
IANAE’s the bluff
if you don’t know your stuff
until a SDSAB corrects you
And what about the dirty limericks?
Be surprised what Autolycus licks! :eek:
All the garters and corsets,
:eek::eek:18" DHIBJD:eek::eek: and furry anklets,
Maybe include a few links to hot chicks?
When the antics of one not sir blah
Have had their score minutes on tha
Lowest point of the sea, oh
Fed by Duran’s friend, Rio
On a treadmill he’ll just gotcha ya.
Our Great Perfect Master is Cecil!
Is he real, or is he just a vessel
For Ed Zotti alone,
Or for parties unknown?
With this puzzle forever we wrestle!
I’m entitled to each Straight Dope perk
That’s if I don’t act like a jerk
But I fear my enjoyment
might risk unemployment
As I post way too often from work.
Some Dopers you just can’t believe
and maybe you need a reprieve
Well don’t become mis’rable
just emulate Liberal
and offer them money to leave
The Dope is a hell of a board
One of the best I have heard
I’m here night and day
Hardly I stray
Hope that doesn’t make me a nerd.
A repreive to which members snuck off
When in their jobs they just don’t have the luck of
Steady and fun work to do
Or a boss of a shrew
To whom they can say “hey, just stop messing around with me and let me post to the SDMB!”
Have you heard about Ludovic, man?
His poetry just doesn’t scan
When asked why that was
he said, with a pause,
It’s because I always try to cram as many words into the very last line as I possibly can.
ISWYDT 
Beware of the BBQ Pit!
They’ll flame you, they’ll call you a shit!
What rules of decorum?
They’ll safely ignore 'em!
And you dig it! Own up and admit!
When there’s mundane, pointless, shit I must post,
There’s a forum the Straight Dope does host
for sorrows, and joys
for bummers, or toys
you don’t need a GQ IQ to boast.
These limericks tread a fine line
That the Forum Rules state and define;
No personal pokes
Are allowed in these jokes
Or mod action may cause you to whine.
The Admins, they run a tight ship
No insults intended will slip
If a Doper you poke
Even if as a joke
You’ll find that they wield a mean whip
My verses were meant with bonhomie
But I see, now that you’ve shown me
Their tone was askew
An apology’s due
I’m sorry & please don’t disown me
For the SDSAB cohorts,
There’s a place to compose your retorts
Staff Reports you disfavor,
Or those that you savor:
Here are Comments on Staff Reports
This board had diverse cognoscenti
having answers to questions aplenty
and a whimsical side
with remarks sometimes snide
and a death ray from, oh, 1920