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  #1  
Old 10-18-2011, 12:58 PM
FairyChatMom FairyChatMom is offline
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What are these ridiculously easy tricks??

I'm sure you've all seen the ads on various sites - some housewife or college student has discovered a ridiculously easy trick that is bound to piss off your dermatologist or help you lose tons of belly fat or earn you a bazillion dollars from the comfort of your own recliner. Apparently these tricks are secrets that "the man" doesn't want us to know, or something.

Has anyone ever clicked on one of these ads? I assume they all lead to sales pitches for snake oil or some other shady deal, and "ridiculously easy" is catch phrase of the month.

My own versions, free for the taking:
Ridiculously easy weight loss: Eat less and exercise.

Ridiculously easy wrinkle prevention: Stay out of the sun, wear sunscreen, and moisturize.

Ridiculously easy way to reduce the amount of interest you pay on your mortgage: pay more against the principal every month so you reduce the term of the loan.

Ridiculously easy way to make tons of money: Sell your ridiculously easy ideas to gullible folks on the internet.
Any others?
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  #2  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:08 PM
Enderw24 Enderw24 is offline
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Acai berries. It's the solution to everything.
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  #3  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:11 PM
elmwood elmwood is offline
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I've seen the ads for "effective old folk remedies" or whatever for weight loss, wrinkle prevention, acne, white teeth, and the like. I assume acai berries, too.
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  #4  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:12 PM
Cryptic C62 Cryptic C62 is offline
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Ridiculously easy way to learn how to shred on guitar: Practice at least 3 hours a day everyday.

Ridiculously easy way to save money on car insurance: Don't crash.
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  #5  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:13 PM
not what you'd expect not what you'd expect is offline
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Originally Posted by Enderw24 View Post
Acai berries. It's the solution to everything.
Yep, that's what I got on the one I dared to click.
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  #6  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:17 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is online now
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Acai berries. It's the solution to everything.
Even my old calculus exams?
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  #7  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:20 PM
swampbear swampbear is online now
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Ridiculously easy way to become rich: Marry rich old person with no living relatives and one foot in the grave.
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  #8  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:22 PM
FairyChatMom FairyChatMom is offline
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So acai berries are the snake oil of the 21st century?
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  #9  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:23 PM
TriPolar TriPolar is offline
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These often use fictitious testimonials. I've heard there's some legislation in the works to stop that.
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  #10  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:36 PM
LaurenIpsum LaurenIpsum is offline
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This reminds me of an advertisement I saw in a teen fashion magazine back in the early 90s. It was for a book of dating advice that you could order through the mail. Among the claims, it said the book would teach you "The seven words guaranteed to make any boy call you!" That was good enough for me, so I sent away for it.

The seven words turned out to be "I'll be getting my number changed soon."

What? What??? This is what I spent my allowance on? Obviously if the boy hadn't already become interested in you, that line wasn't going to work. It would only make him call faster if he was already thinking of doing so.

The book actually did have some interesting "tricks" in it, but nothing that I had the nerve to try, or that would work for me. There was one suggestion to find out (somehow) the route your crush took to walk home from school. Then you walk the same route, only you make sure to leave first, and that way it doesn't look like you're following him. Then you slow down or stop to tie your shoe, and, voila! The two of you are walking side by side. Of course, that wouldn't work for me because I took the bus and so did most other people at my school. Plus this trick assumed that I'd actually know what to say to the guy once we got near each other.
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  #11  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:54 PM
elmwood elmwood is offline
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Even my old calculus exams?
If you took acai berries when you had your exams, it would oxygenate your brain cells, and enhance your performance.
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  #12  
Old 10-18-2011, 02:26 PM
Enderw24 Enderw24 is offline
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Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.
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  #13  
Old 10-18-2011, 02:31 PM
Chef Troy Chef Troy is offline
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Don't forget, the trick can't just be "ridiculously easy." It also has to be "weird." And it should probably have been discovered by a housewife, too.
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  #14  
Old 10-18-2011, 02:36 PM
FairyChatMom FairyChatMom is offline
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Weird and ridiculously easy??? Tell me more!! I must know!
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  #15  
Old 10-18-2011, 02:50 PM
swampbear swampbear is online now
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I'm here at the great Southeastern Ag Expo in resplendent Moultrie, Ga. All kinds of faboo ways to cure ailments, polish your furniture, turn you into a gourmet cook (I guess that's what those fancy pots and pans will do) and most wondrous of all, tubs of goo in which one can stick ones feet in to cure all kinds of foot ailments.

I sit amongst a veritable cornucopia of ridiculously easy tricks that accept all major credit cards!
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  #16  
Old 10-18-2011, 02:53 PM
FairyChatMom FairyChatMom is offline
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Speaking of foot cures, it wasn't too long ago that you could buy pads that sucked all the bad juju out of your body thru your feet - I remember seeing the ads on TV. The black residue on the pads was proof of the toxins removed from your system.

I figured they were alcohol pads or something and they just cleaned the scuzz off the soles of the feet, but maybe they were ridiculously easy also!!
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  #17  
Old 10-18-2011, 03:10 PM
ladyfoxfyre ladyfoxfyre is offline
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Actually I think it was iron or something in the pads, and when your feet sweat at night it would rust the iron and look like it sucked all kinds of bad stuff out of your body.
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  #18  
Old 10-18-2011, 03:28 PM
njtt njtt is online now
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Originally Posted by LaurenIpsum View Post
This reminds me of an advertisement I saw in a teen fashion magazine back in the early 90s. It was for a book of dating advice that you could order through the mail. Among the claims, it said the book would teach you "The seven words guaranteed to make any boy call you!" That was good enough for me, so I sent away for it.

The seven words turned out to be "I'll be getting my number changed soon."

What? What??? This is what I spent my allowance on? Obviously if the boy hadn't already become interested in you, that line wasn't going to work. It would only make him call faster if he was already thinking of doing so.
The real seven words are :"Yes, I will have sex with you."
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  #19  
Old 10-18-2011, 03:57 PM
LilyoftheField LilyoftheField is offline
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Originally Posted by FairyChatMom View Post
Speaking of foot cures, it wasn't too long ago that you could buy pads that sucked all the bad juju out of your body thru your feet - I remember seeing the ads on TV. The black residue on the pads was proof of the toxins removed from your system.

I figured they were alcohol pads or something and they just cleaned the scuzz off the soles of the feet, but maybe they were ridiculously easy also!!
That is so 20th century! Nowadays you just have to rest your feet on an ancient Himalayan salt rock, then walk away thinner, younger and smarter! Possibly even turn you into a superhero...
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  #20  
Old 10-18-2011, 04:19 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is online now
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Originally Posted by LilyoftheField View Post
That is so 20th century! Nowadays you just have to rest your feet on an ancient Himalayan salt rock, then walk away thinner, younger and smarter! Possibly even turn you into a superhero...
Yeah, but how many people are going to get involved in Chinese politics because of a crystal?

Last edited by Sunspace; 10-18-2011 at 04:20 PM..
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  #21  
Old 10-18-2011, 06:38 PM
ralph124c ralph124c is offline
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Apple cider vinegar and honey-cures cancer, stops ageing, and puts a shine on your silver!
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  #22  
Old 10-18-2011, 07:41 PM
SpoilerVirgin SpoilerVirgin is online now
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All of the weight/healthy/beauty ads of this type that I've clicked on (for entertainment purposes only) involve the "secret" of combining two different types of snake oil together. Acai berries alone - pshaw! It's acai berries plus detox foot pads that do the trick.
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  #23  
Old 10-18-2011, 07:49 PM
Inner Stickler Inner Stickler is offline
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Plus this trick assumed that I'd actually know what to say to the guy once we got near each other.
Oh, that's easy. Wear a two sizes too small sweater and inhale.
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  #24  
Old 10-18-2011, 08:57 PM
jabiru jabiru is offline
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I want to know the secret of the 52 year old woman who looks 32. But I won't click on the ad to find out.
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  #25  
Old 10-18-2011, 11:18 PM
Silver Tyger Silver Tyger is offline
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I want to know the secret of the 52 year old woman who looks 32. But I won't click on the ad to find out.
Photoshop.
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  #26  
Old 10-19-2011, 08:36 AM
FairyChatMom FairyChatMom is offline
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Speaking of Photoshop, it reminded me of another ad for a weird trick that would give old men the muscular body of a 20-y/o. The accompanying "testimonial" photo showed a buff, bulked-up behemoth with a 70-y/o head. Oh yes, I believe in that product...
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  #27  
Old 10-19-2011, 09:25 AM
Prelude to Fascination Prelude to Fascination is offline
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J. Paul Getty's ridiculously easy 3-step trick to get rich:

1. Rise early
2. Work hard
3. Strike oil
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  #28  
Old 10-19-2011, 10:39 AM
nd_n8 nd_n8 is offline
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What I want to know is: why do all of these housewives / college students / buff old geezers live in the Indianapolis area? Aren't there people elsewhere who know weird tricks to do relatively mundane stuff?
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  #29  
Old 10-19-2011, 11:52 AM
thinksnow thinksnow is offline
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What is the weird trick to get to sleep easier? And why is there always a buxom hottie on the add?

Is it masturbate? 'Cuz that's not really weird.
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  #30  
Old 10-19-2011, 01:26 PM
FairyChatMom FairyChatMom is offline
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Originally Posted by nd_n8 View Post
What I want to know is: why do all of these housewives / college students / buff old geezers live in the Indianapolis area? Aren't there people elsewhere who know weird tricks to do relatively mundane stuff?
At least some of them live in Lexington Park, and when I was working, I found ads by a few who lived in King George...



They're everywhere. Like cockroaches.
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  #31  
Old 10-19-2011, 05:11 PM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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What is the weird trick to get to sleep easier? And why is there always a buxom hottie on the add?

Is it masturbate? 'Cuz that's not really weird.
Seems to me that with buxom hotties involved there'd be less sleeping. From getting in bed to getting to sleep would take a lot more time and effort than I'm used to.
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  #32  
Old 10-19-2011, 08:09 PM
jabiru jabiru is offline
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Originally Posted by nd_n8 View Post
What I want to know is: why do all of these housewives / college students / buff old geezers live in the Indianapolis area? Aren't there people elsewhere who know weird tricks to do relatively mundane stuff?
Nope. Some of them live in Ryde (nearby suburb to where I live).
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  #33  
Old 10-19-2011, 08:52 PM
Princhester Princhester is offline
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Originally Posted by LaurenIpsum View Post
This reminds me of an advertisement I saw in a teen fashion magazine back in the early 90s. It was for a book of dating advice that you could order through the mail. Among the claims, it said the book would teach you "The seven words guaranteed to make any boy call you!" That was good enough for me, so I sent away for it.

The seven words turned out to be "I'll be getting my number changed soon."
I actually think that is slightly clever. You are right that this isn't going to help if the guy isn't interested. But there's plenty of teen guys who could be interested but lack confidence and be prevaricating. And saying this line both subtlely informs him that you care that he may not be able to contact you shortly, and puts the pressure on him to do it soon.
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  #34  
Old 10-19-2011, 09:47 PM
Euphonious Polemic Euphonious Polemic is offline
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Originally Posted by thinksnow View Post
What is the weird trick to get to sleep easier? And why is there always a buxom hottie on the add?

Is it masturbate? 'Cuz that's not really weird.
Well, it is the way you do it.
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  #35  
Old 10-19-2011, 10:00 PM
Taomist Taomist is offline
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What cracks me up are the clearly so-very-random pictures that get put into them. It's like the pics are playing roulette with the ads, and they never seem to have ANYthing to do with them.
And you just KNOW that someone is out there going 'Holy shit, what's grandma's face doing on an add for penis enlargement?!?!'
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  #36  
Old 10-19-2011, 10:26 PM
JBDivmstr JBDivmstr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thinksnow View Post
What is the weird trick to get to sleep easier? And why is there always a buxom hottie on the add?

Is it masturbate? 'Cuz that's not really weird.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Euphonious Polemic View Post
Well, it is the way you do it.
Hmmm... Been 'window peeping' again, have you?
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Last edited by JBDivmstr; 10-19-2011 at 10:26 PM.. Reason: spelling
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  #37  
Old 10-19-2011, 10:49 PM
Giles Giles is online now
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Nope. Some of them live in Ryde (nearby suburb to where I live).
Yes, she's moved. The mom who discovered the secret that doctors don't want you to find out about lived in Columbus when I lived in the U.S., and now lives in Sydney. I think she's stalking me.
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  #38  
Old 10-20-2011, 07:36 AM
nd_n8 nd_n8 is offline
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Yes, she's moved. The mom who discovered the secret that doctors don't want you to find out about lived in Columbus when I lived in the U.S., and now lives in Sydney. I think she's stalking me.
Ah well, at least we've still got the creepy old guy with the chomo smile and six pack abs in Indy.

I saw him in an ad this morning telling me how morgage rates are at an all time low in my area, but they won't last long.
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  #39  
Old 10-20-2011, 08:17 PM
Euphonious Polemic Euphonious Polemic is offline
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Originally Posted by JBDivmstr View Post
Hmmm... Been 'window peeping' again, have you?
It's a ridiculously easy trick that I found out from a housewife in my area - how to know what your neighbors are doing. Just send me $10 and I'll give you all the details.
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  #40  
Old 10-20-2011, 08:37 PM
VunderBob VunderBob is offline
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Originally Posted by FairyChatMom View Post
At least some of them live in Lexington Park, and when I was working, I found ads by a few who lived in King George...



They're everywhere. Like cockroaches.
My ads say Mechanicsville and La Plata...

I'm weird and live in Lexington Park, but I don't do any tricks.
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  #41  
Old 10-20-2011, 10:46 PM
Gleena Gleena is offline
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Nope. Some of them live in Ryde (nearby suburb to where I live).
Really? There's some in Darlinghurst, too, which is pretty far from Ryde. Maybe they commute?
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  #42  
Old 10-21-2011, 12:07 AM
Princhester Princhester is offline
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They don't just commute. They commute, man. They go from Brisbane, Australia to Chicago, US so fast that it's only the latest research showing things can actually move faster than the speed of light that is permitting me to continue to believe everything they say.
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  #43  
Old 10-21-2011, 07:31 AM
ShelliBean ShelliBean is offline
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Wait a minute... I thought they were all in Jackson! Which is funny, because I live nowhere near Jackson but I guess where I did live in MS wasn't on the map and Jackson was the only city in the state they had available.
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  #44  
Old 10-21-2011, 08:43 AM
JBDivmstr JBDivmstr is offline
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Originally Posted by Euphonious Polemic View Post
It's a ridiculously easy trick that I found out from a housewife in my area - how to know what your neighbors are doing. Just send me $10 and I'll give you all the details.
Touche'!

(If you knew my neighbors half as well as I do, you wouldn't want to know what they're doing.)
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  #45  
Old 10-21-2011, 09:17 AM
Wheelz Wheelz is offline
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One ridiculously easy trick for whiter teeth: Krylon.
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  #46  
Old 10-21-2011, 10:02 AM
GoodOmens GoodOmens is offline
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Originally Posted by Chef Troy View Post
Don't forget, the trick can't just be "ridiculously easy." It also has to be "weird." And it should probably have been discovered by a housewife, too.
Specifically a housewife (or mom) from your town. It's even better if trainers hate her.
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  #47  
Old 10-21-2011, 10:23 AM
FairyChatMom FairyChatMom is offline
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I'm weird and live in Lexington Park, but I don't do any tricks.
I bet you'd do tricks for the right price...
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  #48  
Old 10-21-2011, 01:31 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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"Mom Discovers Ridiculously Easy Trick To A Trim Figure; Plastic Surgeons Hate Her"

...because she's a clueless moron who had her liposuction done by Three Guys With A Hose.
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  #49  
Old 10-22-2011, 01:45 PM
elfkin477 elfkin477 is offline
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There really are ridiculously easy ways to lose weight people just don't like them very much. I've discovered one that has prompted me to lose about a pound a week since late July with absolutely no effort whatsoever. Step one is to get Lyme disease, step two is to lose your appetite because of step one...I'm sort of surprised that my appetite still isn't back to normal given I'm fully recovered otherwise, but I don't miss feeling like I'm starving by dinnertime.

Bet a tape worm or malaria would work too

We've got tons of deerticks infected with lyme in my town. I should start a mail order business.
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  #50  
Old 10-22-2011, 04:26 PM
Regallag_The_Axe Regallag_The_Axe is offline
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So you want an Easy way to lose weight, huh? Well, I've got the chainsaw, just tell me which limb you want gone, and we're good to go!
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