We’ve had threads before where people post their ideas for stupid, offensive television shows. I’d like to do something a little different here. Let’s design by committee ONE show, with the goal of making it as stupid and offensive as possible. The only limitation is that all agreed upon suggestions have to be possible to feature in the same show.
My contribution: Either the main character/characters, or a recurrent guest character has to have a teenage son and daughter that it is constantly being hinted at that they’re having incest. For example, the character walks in on them with a few seconds notice and they’re busy straightening their clothing; or the character announces that they’ll be out for the evening and the teens will have to stay home alone, and the son and daughter just turn and smile at each other.
1 of the main characters is played by a frog. A real frog, and they just dub the vocals, which are done by a person from the Deep South who has a lisp and only pronounces a long “e” sound, not a short “e” sound (set=seet, pet=peet, friend=freend, etc.).
A supporting character is a sex-crazed oft-divorced aunt whose catchphrase is “Well, I got an appointment at the abortion clinic!” every time she leaves the room.
It features a dumb, fat, bald guy married to a thin relatively hot younger woman, and the guy isn’t even rich. Every episode has a scene where fat bald guy is drinking beer and watching football with his equally repellant buddies, and they all reminisce about their glory days. In high school.
The fourth episode adds a new character: a younger cousin who will be living with the family for poorly explained reasons, who frequently builds wacky inventions that misfire in hilarious ways - and he has a catchphrase too: “Well, pickle my brainstem!” or something even less appealing… Come to think of it, in the sixth episode, we’ll learn that this character is really twins.
First, you need an all-stereotype cast. A hip, jive-talking black dude and his big, sassy girlfriend; a nerdy Asian guy; a hot-tempered Hispanic; a clueless blond (male or female); a wacky, sex-crazed old person; etc.
Second, have them speak only in punch lines and snappy comebacks. This makes Duke’s suggestion of a laugh-track for every line not only possible, but necessary.
Third, recycle both plots and dialog from beloved old shows. Have the characters react inapporpriately when a clown dies, get stuck in a candy factory, wake up after a nightmare to find the wife from a character’s other series in bed with him. Only make sure the situational context and comedic timing that were present in the originals are completely absent.
Fourth, while the characters are exchanging witty insults and putdowns, throw in a few n-words and gay slurs. Have one character physically abuse another.
When Korean-American teenage boy’s family dies in a tragic accident, he is taken in by a Chinese-American family. It’s a recipe for laughter when two cultures collide.
Jon Voight is an angel whose mission on earth is to interceded on God’s behalf in mysterious ways when he comes across people in need. But actually he has alzheimer’s, doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time, and he’s a bit of a dick anyway. With young black wisecracking side-kick.
Each episode will feature co-star Mr. T, playing comic foil, Tchaikovsky, lifting that weeks hapless guest star character up by their shirt collar (one handed, of course), grimace and squint, first into the guest character’s eyes, then, breaking the 4th wall, into camera #1. After 5 seconds of freeze frame action, the laugh track subsides and **Tchaikovsky **barks the new 2012, going-viral catchphrase, “I’m gonna crack your nuts, sucka, cause I’m da nut cracka"…followed by a 10 second laugh track crescendo , then cut to commercial (for **ExtenZe).
**
Bob has a secret. His wife is not who she appears to be. She’s a robot (Robby from Lost in Space). Join us every weeknight for 3 hours of fun as Bob tries to keep the secret from his legally-blind parents! Danger Will Robinson, indeed!
Production requirements:
Canned laughter, random replacements of main characters, senseless walk-on cameos, 4th wall does not exist. Oh, and we need a giant mechanical spider.