I don't have a refrigerator and I'm never buying one.

[Rigamarole]

All this newfangled technology is a sucker's game. Like my great-grandfather, and his father before him, I don't own a refrigerator and I refuse to buy into this whole "convenience" garbage people keep saying about modern appliances.

I think refrigerators are for fat people who can't be bothered to hunt their own game and cure their own meats for sustenance. I mean seriously, how lazy are people these days? That's just not my thing. I prefer to forage and hunt like a man, rather than giving Big Oil the satisfaction of me owning another one of these energy-sucking machines.

Any other RFDs (Refrigerator-Free Dopers) out there?

[kanicbird]

How do you keep your beer cold?

[Joey P]

Originally Posted by kanicbird

How do you keep your beer cold?

An evaporative cooler fueled by the blood he drains from the big game that apparently wanders through his front yard.

[Ibanez]

har har har

Emails, Telephpones, letters doing the same thing as FB but not as awesome I guess.
Any other subsitutes for refrigirators out there ? no.

Why don't you just pitt non-FB users and get it over with.

[NoClueBoy]

I don't have:

a car

a house

a computer

a mobile phone

an appendix

any STDs

any STP (no car anyways)

a teenaged girlfriend

a pachyderm expulsion kit

a clue

any money

a nice warm feeling (except in my pants)

toilet paper

a clock

an RCA CED Videodisc (what good are they? you can't record on them. not compatible with my system)

a half life measured in billions of years

any more tomato soup left (time to go shopping. wish I had money)

anything else to list (for now)

[Rigamarole]

Damn NoClueBoy, you might just be more awesome at not having things than I am!

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by Ibanez

Why don't you just pitt non-FB users and get it over with.

Because satire is so much more fun.

[drewtwo99]

Oh yeah? Well I don't even have a wheel. I get around perfectly fine on my own two legs, thank you very much.

Also, fire is for the kids and nerds and geeks and 'the hip'. Real men eat food raw and like it.

[guizot]

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

Because satire is so much more fun.

That's about a two out of ten on the satire proficiency scale. (Lack of subtlety, mainly, but also an unnecessary target.)

[Alice The Goon]

Originally Posted by drewtwo99

Oh yeah? Well I don't even have a wheel. I get around perfectly fine on my own two legs, thank you very much.

Also, fire is for the kids and nerds and geeks and 'the hip'. Real men eat food raw and like it.

Food? Ha, we call that luxury around here. Grubs and worms do just fine, thank you very much.

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by guizot

That's about a two out of ten on the satire proficiency scale. (Lack of subtlety, mainly, but also an unnecessary target.)

Thanks for your opinion. It was very necessary.

[Covered_In_Bees!]

Do you at least have a freezer to store your extra meat? Or is that too closely related to the dreaded refrigerator?

[NoClueBoy]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

Food? Ha, we call that luxury around here. Grubs and worms do just fine, thank you very much.

LUXURY!

I'm skimming for plankton.

[Fear Itself]

Originally Posted by kanicbird

How do you keep your beer cold?

Drink it before it gets warm.

[Rachellelogram]

Bitter, much? How does this even count as a parody thread, btw? It's not funny. It's a snark thread, and there's a whole SDMB subforum (and several offsite communities) for that. But I guess you really showed us.

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

Thanks for your opinion. It was very necessary.

It was exactly as necessary as this thread.

[Wile E]

I actually haven't had a refrigerator for about 2 months now. Mostly because I was waiting on my tax refund to get a new one. But then my tax refund went to bills and I realized I would have to get a really cheap used one. Then I just didn't have time to run around looking for one. Every so often I'll get some ice for a cooler if I have something I want to keep cold but mostly I just don't buy stuff I have to refrigerate. But I will get one eventually.

[Candyman74]

Well I thought it was funny. So you amused someone, at least.

[jasg]

Originally Posted by drewtwo99

Also, fire is for the kids and nerds and geeks and 'the hip'. Real men eat food raw and like it.

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

Food? Ha, we call that luxury around here. Grubs and worms do just fine, thank you very much.

Originally Posted by NoClueBoy

LUXURY!

I'm skimming for plankton.

I've reverted to photosynthesis. No sense in being too advanced.

[drewtwo99]

Hey all! If you don't think this thread is funny/necessary, go pit him and this thread, instead of being meany meany jelly beanies!

[Terraplane]

Yes, the benefits of refrigeration, one of the most useful advances in technology ever, and the benefits of Facebook, the social networking site, are truly comparable things.

I haven't seen satire of this quality since I read Mission Earth.

[MsWhatsit]

I have a refrigerator, but I don't use it. Every time I open the door I see a bunch of gross food that I don't like. So I slam the door shut again, and it just sits there. Waiting for me.

I hate it.

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by MsWhatsit

I have a refrigerator, but I don't use it. Every time I open the door I see a bunch of gross food that I don't like. So I slam the door shut again, and it just sits there. Waiting for me.

I hate it.

Join me as an RFD, sister! Toss that shit out!

[NoClueBoy]

Send it to another dimension where it be a god.

[YogSosoth]

Your loss. That just means more refrigerators for me!

[septimus]

I need a refrigerator just for my chocolate. It's just too hot here(*) to store them in an ordinary cabinet. I scold my wife if she doesn't hide the chocolate down in the produce drawer or somewhere (and also scold her if she hides it too well).

(* - How hot is it? When Americans first visit they scoff at all of us who put ice cubes in our beer. After a few months they'll complain if beer arrives without ice.)

[Rachellelogram]

Originally Posted by septimus

I need a refrigerator just for my chocolate. It's just too hot here(*) to store them in an ordinary cabinet. I scold my wife if she doesn't hide the chocolate down in the produce drawer or somewhere (and also scold her if she hides it too well).

(* - How hot is it? When Americans first visit they scoff at all of us who put ice cubes in our beer. After a few months they'll complain if beer arrives without ice.)

Can't you just keep your beers in the refrigerator until you drink them? You can also pop them in the freezer for an hour or 2 before you drink them. Watered-down beer = ewwww

[septimus]

Originally Posted by rachelellogram

Can't you just keep your beers in the refrigerator until you drink them? You can also pop them in the freezer for an hour or 2 before you drink them. Watered-down beer = ewwww

Spend a while in Thailand and you'll change your tune too!

At home I do put beer in the freezer and drink it without ice. Problems occur at certain restaurants, etc. (And the watering-down problem is reduced if you drink the beer fast enough. )

[Cicero]

I have a refrigerator but only because some bastard told me the light goes out when you close the door.

How do I know if this is true? I am conducting expeiments.

[don't ask]

I only have a bar fridge but since I live alone it is quite adequate for my requirements.

I also have a Facebook account that predates the accounts of everyone I know but I stopped using it when everyone at work got an account and Facebook became awash with drivel.

[Candyman74]

There's one major problem with my fridge.

ZUUUUUUUUUUUUL!

[RTFirefly]

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

Because satire is so much more fun.

In the words of that sage, The Cat in the Hat, "We can have lots of good fun that is funny."

Along those lines, satire can be lots of good fun if it's funny. Unfortunately, this one fails.

[grude]

Joke thread or not I have been without fridge several times and its not as bad as it might seem, as long as you can grocery shop daily and buy perishables you're set.

I'd rather reliquish fridge than ISP thats for sure.

[Chefguy]

And what's up with stoves and shit? Energy-sucking, hulking kitchen monsters that sit there in all their bacteria-killing smugness, just knowing that eventually you will need to heat something up. If raw meat was good enough for my ancient ancestors, it's good enough for me. Living in a city, I'm kinda restricted to stray cats and the occasional mouse, however. They're an acquired taste.

[Philliam]

Originally Posted by NoClueBoy

LUXURY!

I'm skimming for plankton.

You lucky bastard, when I was a kid we had to scour the streets for loose dirt - if we didn't collect enough, our Dad would strap us with his belt.

[Scumpup]

You pantywaists and your metal tools...

[NoClueBoy]

Walking upright!?

[John Mace]

I live in an abandoned bus in the Alaska wilderness. Just found some really tasty looking berries, too!

[Chefguy]

Originally Posted by John Mace

I live in an abandoned bus in the Alaska wilderness. Just found some really tasty looking berries, too!

Damn you public transit people and your whole "cars are evil" mantra.

[Big Fat Harry Deal]

Originally Posted by Philliam

You lucky bastard, when I was a kid we had to scour the streets for loose dirt - if we didn't collect enough, our Dad would strap us with his belt.

You had loose dirt?! We had to break up gravel to have dirt to chew, and we were happy with what we had!

[Dervorin]

Originally Posted by Big Fat Harry Deal

You had loose dirt?! We had to break up gravel to have dirt to chew, and we were happy with what we had!

Gravel? You had gravel? Luxury. We had to carry lead pipes up a mountain, uphill both ways, and then drill into the rocks with our teeth to have holes to set the pipes into. Then we had to blow hard enough to make the mountain explode before we could have rocks. Gravel. Hah.


There are far too many Monty Python nerds on this board.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Dervorin

Gravel? You had gravel? Luxury. We had to carry lead pipes up a mountain, uphill both ways, and then drill into the rocks with our teeth to have holes to set the pipes into. Then we had to blow hard enough to make the mountain explode before we could have rocks. Gravel. Hah.

Teeth?

[Toxgoddess]

Mountains? When I was a kid we didn't have mountains. There was none of ths newfangled "plate tectonics." We had just molten lava and we were happy with what we had!

[Drunky Smurf]

Pussies, the lot of ya.

I'm not even alive and that's the way I like it.

[Locrian]

Hey, I don't even open my fridge anymore. Just pics of of kittens and bitching about insomnia all the time!