If you get off with a mermaid, is it bestiality?

[Mr. Kobayashi]

Inspired by the recent NOAA announcement that mermaids probably do not exist, and a bit of Ricky Gervais' standup.

If you met a mermaid sunning herself on a rock, got chatting and then got down to business (as far as anatomy allows, that is), is that bestiality?

[RealityChuck]

Consider the fact that a mermaid seems to have fish genitalia . . .

[Rubixcube]

Bestiality is defined as sex with any non-human animal, so technically speaking even having sex with something as closely related as a Neanderthal would be considered bestiality. Also I imagine it would be more accurate to picture dolphin parts when thinking about mermaid sex.

Now that is certainly not a sentence I ever imagined I would type.

[The Evil Prince Zorte]

I guess it depends on which half you are involved with. If it is oral sex with you as a recipient, I guess that's ok. If you happen to be a centaur or satyr, then you are out of luck either way.

[TreacherousCretin]

Was it Woody Allen who once mentioned a mermaid who was half-woman, half-fish, but divided down the middle??

Discuss.

[antonio107]

To quote Philip J. Fry: Why couldn’t she be the other type of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?!

[GaryM]

My luck, I'd get the half that eats!

[panache45]

I want a merMAN . . . and if I limit myself to his mouth, it's not bestiality.

[CalMeacham]

It al depends, doesn't it? I've seen representations of mermaids that were human down to past the genitals. Or you could have the "Splash" type mermaids who get human legs on land (or your Little Mermaid scenario where they get feet. Or One like the one in that Night Gallery Episode Lindemann's Catch, who starts out human on top and fish beneath, but turns into fish on top and human beneath
(the idea's been around since before Fry)
http://www.nightgallery.net/season2c.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z6uJ43eDtA


This only works if you're into that "Innsmouth Look". Which some people -- you just KNOW it -- would be.

[Musicat]

Originally Posted by antonio107

To quote Philip J. Fry: Why couldn’t she be the other type of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom?!

Imagine what face-to-face sex would be like that. You'd have to put a pillow between faces, or...use a flag over fishface, then fuck for Old Glory.

[TheChileanBlob]

Bestiality is wrong because animals can't consent, but in the mermaid's case, the part with the brain is people. So it's kind of insulting to call her a beast. So in other words, yes it's bestiality, but it's OK.

[Siam Sam]

Need answer fast?

[Musicat]

Originally Posted by TheChileanBlob

Bestiality is wrong because animals can't consent, but in the mermaid's case, the part with the brain is people. So it's kind of insulting to call her a beast. So in other words, yes it's bestiality, but it's OK.

I dunno. There's something fishy about this explanation.

[heathen earthling]

Perhaps it depends on the evolutionary origin of mermaids. Are they are species of human that evolved fish tails, or a species of fish that evolved human-like upper bodies?

[squeegee]

If we try to get off and fail, is it bestiality?

[Kenm]

Originally Posted by Musicat

I dunno. There's something fishy about this explanation.

Yeah. It's murky enough that no one could predict which way the scales of justice would fall.

I'll bet a fin on bestiality.

[Der Trihs]

She's a person not an animal; at least no more than a human is an animal. I'd call it xenophilia, not bestiality. It's not like have sex with a fish; it's like having sex with an alien.

[TriPolar]

I'd say it would get called bestiality, but who cares really? It's sort of the acceptable kind, like centaurs and swans. It's all worked out magically somehow, because there's an essence of humanity in these creatures during the act. It's not like having sex with some dumb animal, there's human love, or at least lust involved in both participants.

[Qin Shi Huangdi]

Yes, anybody who isn't a homo sapiens sapiens.

[Zebra]

Depends on which end you get it on with.

[squeegee]

Originally Posted by Der Trihs

it's like having sex with an alien.

So it's basically rishathra?

[AaronX]

This picture is relevant to this topic.
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y10...mermaidoj2.jpg

[Muffin]

I'm game.

[core_dump]

If you're a seafood lover, eatin' ain't cheatin'.

[Grumman]

No, it is not bestiality. A mermaid is not human, but she is a person.

[Malacandra]

Originally Posted by Kenm

Yeah. It's murky enough that no one could predict which way the scales of justice would fall.

I'll bet a fin on bestiality.

I call trolling...

[Namkcalb]

Originally Posted by Der Trihs

She's a person not an animal; at least no more than a human is an animal. I'd call it xenophilia, not bestiality. It's not like have sex with a fish; it's like having sex with an alien.

/\ This

Though consent might still be hard to establish from sapient aliens/mermaids/dolphins as their psycology and values are likely to be radically different from ours.

[Der Trihs]

Originally Posted by squeegee

So it's basically rishathra?

Rishathra is sex outside your species but with an intelligent hominid; mermaids aren't hominids by all appearances. They're some type of chimera.

[Senegoid]

What would the children be like?

"My father was the keeper of the Eddystone Light.
He married a mermaid one fine night.
From this union there came three:
A porpoise, a porgy, and the other was me."
-- Eddystone Light

[Muffin]

Originally Posted by Mr. Kobayashi

and then got down to business (as far as anatomy allows, that is),

Don't know if this is real or imagined, but a fellow indicates that anatomy does allow. NSFW:

SPOILER:

NSFW delphinophilia

[Musicat]

Originally Posted by heathen earthling

Perhaps it depends on the evolutionary origin of mermaids. Are they are species of human that evolved fish tails, or a species of fish that evolved human-like upper bodies?

It's easily explained by Intelligent Design.

[kanicbird]

Originally Posted by Der Trihs

She's a person not an animal; at least no more than a human is an animal. I'd call it xenophilia, not bestiality. It's not like have sex with a fish; it's like having sex with an alien.

I would tend to agree with this, except that they are terrestrial beings but the concept of interspecies sex with basically beings of the same 'level' as humans is not bestiality.

[kayaker]

How's about Bigfoot?

[ekedolphin]

I voted "no", but how exactly that would be accomplished is beyond me.

And I'll take a mermaid with a brain over an ugly, brainless reverse-mermaid anytime, regardless of how much I like pussy and feet.

[Anaamika]

Originally Posted by Der Trihs

She's a person not an animal; at least no more than a human is an animal. I'd call it xenophilia, not bestiality. It's not like have sex with a fish; it's like having sex with an alien.

This is the correct answer.

[Ike Witt]

Strange that Troy McClure hasn't posted in this thread.

[Tim R. Mortiss]

Does she have a blow-hole?

[Ludovic]

Originally Posted by Ike Witt

Strange that Troy McClure hasn't posted in this thread.

He can't: he sleeps with the fishes.

[BigT]

I went with yes, although that's not strictly correct. It's not because she's a monstrocity. It's because she has the sexual organs of a fish, and, if you enjoy that, then I can't imagine you not enjoying it with an actual fish. Getting a blow job or hand job wouldn't be bestiality, though.

Some people define bestiality more like pedophilia, having more to do with capability for consent than the actual preference for animal genetalia, but I do not. For those people, it would depend on whether the mermaid was fully sapient. And not just the sapience of children, either. She'd have to be the equivalent of an adult human, or it's bestiality.

I personally would just call that rape.

[Muffin]

Originally Posted by BigT

I personally would just call that rape.

Râpé? Non, poisson.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

She ain't an animal if:

1. She can talk
2. She can think
3. She qualifies for an auto loan.

What's her credit score.

[Baker]

Originally Posted by Der Trihs

She's a person not an animal; at least no more than a human is an animal. I'd call it xenophilia, not bestiality. It's not like have sex with a fish; it's like having sex with an alien.

Obligatory Galaxy Quest quote: "Oh, that's not right!"

[kayaker]

Originally Posted by BigT

I personally would just call that rape.

Dude, chill. Mermaids ain't for real.

[Gatopescado]

No comment.

[bengangmo]

Originally Posted by Qin Shi Huangdi

Yes, anybody who isn't a homo sapiens sapiens.

So in other words, sex between the rest of the world and Australians?

[Der Trihs]

Originally Posted by BigT

I personally would just call that rape.

But not to her face, she'd probably slap you.

[CalMeacham]

Actually, I have to add that if she has fishy reproductive parts, sex with her would be uniquely unsatisfying.

And she'd call you Milt.

[StrangeBird]

Originally Posted by TriPolar

I'd say it would get called bestiality, but who cares really? It's sort of the acceptable kind, like centaurs and swans. It's all worked out magically somehow, because there's an essence of humanity in these creatures during the act. It's not like having sex with some dumb animal, there's human love, or at least lust involved in both participants.

It's good to know Tripolar thinks that sex with swans is acceptable bestiality

[Der Trihs]

Originally Posted by StrangeBird

It's good to know Tripolar thinks that sex with swans is acceptable bestiality

Harpies have to come from somewhere.

[Grumman]

Originally Posted by Der Trihs

Harpies have to come from somewhere.

On that note:

Human: Hey elf, you look like a girl.
Elf: To a human, everything must look like a girl.
Human: What?
Elf: Half-orcs, half-ogres...
Human: ...shut up.
Dwarf: Half-dragons, half-kobolds.
Human: I said shut up!
Elf: ...
Dwarf: ...
Human: ...
Elf: Centaurs...