If you were arrested for a high-profile crime, what about you would the media have a field day with?

[Infovore]

Okay, I realized this is probably too soon given the Aurora shootings, but it popped into my head so I figured I'd share it. Let me tone it down a bit in the interests of taste, though.

Suppose you were arrested for some sort of high-profile crime (let's even say you didn't do it, but evidence points strongly at you anyway). The kind of crime that gets on the news all over the country. So naturally the media is going to be digging into your life to try to come up with "justification" for why you did it. And as usual, they will probably get it wrong by settling on some irrelevant part of your life (like the fact that you favor black trench coats, or you have an extensive death-metal collection).

For me, it would be my large collection of roleplaying games, including things like Shadowrun (which is a game that involves magic, big guns, a dystopian near-future society, and a generally pretty nihilistic attitude about the world), my collection of pointy things (fantasy swords and daggers), my MMORPG habits (WoW, SWTOR, and The Secret World, which obviously make me a loner with no friends who spends my time coming up with ways to kill people), and almost certainly the fact that I write fiction that includes some pretty gory and violent stuff.

How about you?

[dalej42]

I work in the financial services industry.

[florez]

That my ancestors were probably blood thirsty Aztecs.

[Loach]

Crazed vet with PTSD.

I don't have it btw.

[Airman Doors, USAF]

I own multiple firearms, thus I have "an arsenal with thousands of rounds", and one of them is a 10mm loaded with hollow-point ammunition, thus I have "a powerful weapon which proves that I wanted to kill someone".

Lest you think I am kidding about the second one, look up "Harold Fish". I'd link to it myself but an iPad is useless for citations.

[Justin_Bailey]

Not roleplaying games, but my extensive collection of violent video games, movies, and TV shows.

[Dallas Jones]

I'm that nice, quiet guy who lives next door and never causes any trouble. Always willing to help out the neighbors, family man, mows his lawn and...

Shit! I should just turn myself in now.

[Morgenstern]

World's most eligible bachelor indited for........

Well, the media gets everything wrong, why not my description too?

[BrotherCadfael]

That I once worked for a US intelligence agency.

[olivesmarch4th]

Probably my psych history. Honestly they'd be too busy having a field day with the rest of my family to focus on the comparatively boring me.

[Broomstick]

So much to choose from:

1) Quiet, keeps to self
2) Pagan
3) Plays RPGs, MMORPGs, etc.
4) Unpopular/bullied in school as a child
5) Not on Facebook

[Saint Cad]

That I saw a psychologist in the past [dealing with grief issues after losing my daughter covienently redacted by the media]

[Imago]

Huh. Either the history of mental illness, or the fact that I'm a full-grown woman who hasn't shaved her legs in 4 years.

[Alice The Goon]

That I'm quiet, shy, and semi-reclusive, I'm sure will be made much of. Apparently, it means you're weird now, judging by the reports on James Holmes.

Also that I'm estranged from several members of my family. Of course, they won't report that the people I'm estranged from are assholes or perverts- I'll be made to look like the asshole.

[Jack Batty]

Hmm. Good question. I'd say probably the prostitutes I have buried underneath my floorboards.

[Iggy]

They might have a field day with the fact that I don't have a Facebook account.

I have a Colombian wife... and everybody knows that means there must be a drug connection.

That I am the quiet, really smart guy, but don't have many close friends. The neighbors would say that I keep to myself. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.

[rocking chair]

that i post on the sdmb?!

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

Ooh ooh, yes, mental illness. That dastardly Malleus has been on heavy psychiatric medication for years, and yet no one stopped her from _____. (Because a person with anxiety and depression is totally the same as a paranoid schizophrenic who's been off her meds for a while).

And she's never had any kind of romantic relationship. As far as we know, she hasn't even even gone on a date. Clearly she blew her stack because of all those repressed sexual desires.

And she spends way too much time with her cats. She talks to them with actual cat noises. She certainly seems to care more about them than she does about the humans she knows.

Clearly, Malleus is a sick, sad individual.

[twickster]

That I served as an SDMB moderator for 3+ years.

Guess I will have finally snapped.

[Cinnamon Imp]

Originally Posted by Malleus, Incus, Stapes!

And she spends way too much time with her cats.

Are you kidding? If you ever go postal, the *first* thing the media will latch on to, is how it's really the lion's fault for biting you that time!

[EmilyG]

Schizophrenia, no doubt.

Yes, I've beeen diagnosed with it. Yes, many, many murderers and other violent criminals in the news lately have it, and it worries me, because it makes the public see all people with schizophrenia as violent.

I'm not harmful to others. I won't hurt any of you, I promise. Or anyone else.

[EmilyG]

Schizophrenia, no doubt.

Yes, I've beeen diagnosed with it. Yes, many, many murderers and other violent criminals in the news lately have it, and it worries me, because it makes the public see all people with schizophrenia as violent.

I'm not harmful to others. I won't hurt any of you, I promise. Or anyone else.

[DocCathode]

Let's see

Long history of mental illness

Weird blog

Own the book Home Workshop Explosives

Pictures of me in a home made clown costume on the internet

[Critical Mass]

I'm Canadian.

[Blackberry]

I look so sweet and innocent. They'd probably find the sweetest, most innocent picture of me that they could and then show it next to my mugshot a million times, like what went wrong with her?

[installLSC]

Originally Posted by DocCathode

Pictures of me in a home made clown costume on the internet

Actually that is pretty creepy. Any story behind it?

In regards to the OP, I'm a single guy with few friends and haven't been in a serious relationship in about a decade. The thing they'd really latch onto is my crossdressing, saying it was a sign of deep personal demons. Hey just because you slip into an evening gown once in a while isn't necessarily a sign of deep emotional traumas.

[thelurkinghorror]

Originally Posted by Airman Doors, USAF

I own multiple firearms, thus I have "an arsenal with thousands of rounds", and one of them is a 10mm loaded with hollow-point ammunition, thus I have "a powerful weapon which proves that I wanted to kill someone".

Lest you think I am kidding about the second one, look up "Harold Fish". I'd link to it myself but an iPad is useless for citations.

I think you mean "exploding rounds."

Perhaps I don't own many "high powered rifles" because none are a massive .223 inches, only a puny .30 inches plus. Also none are black.

How similar I am to the latest psycho in job history etc. Not a zero online presence like him, nor so withdrawn. Introversion, mental health.

That I'm a member of a subversive online site known as the "Straight Dope Message Board." What is that, some kind of drug internets!?

[kmshrader]

Originally Posted by Critical Mass

I'm Canadian.

Ha!

- I own multiple firearms (inherited when my father died).
- The only movie I own is rife with violence (Green Street Hooligans, in case you wonder).
- Have seen psychologists on-and-off. (For teenage angst, and later grief counseling.)
- Writes short stories with violent themes. (I'm a writer! You could also find sexual themes, feminist themes, man vs. nature, finding onesself, Southern fiction...etc. etc. in my writing.)
- Recently got out of a long-term relationship (and we're on good terms, but whatever).
- Considered rather odd (and bubbly and considerate) by her friends and coworkers.

[DocCathode]

Originally Posted by installLSC

Actually that is pretty creepy. Any story behind it?

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/....php?t=648073&

View my shame

[Joey P]

Originally Posted by Airman Doors, USAF

I own multiple firearms, thus I have "an arsenal with thousands of rounds", and one of them is a 10mm loaded with hollow-point ammunition, thus I have "a powerful weapon which proves that I wanted to kill someone".

My sister was saying something about the Batman guy having 12,000 rounds on him or in his apartment or something like that and that she doesn't think anyone should ever be allowed to have that much ammo. She mellowed out a bit when I mentioned two of our friends that are gun nuts (that she knows very well) that both have hundreds of guns and probably hundreds of thousands of rounds in their houses. Hell, my understanding is that many people will buy 12,000 rounds just because they're on sale. It's not unusual to shoot a thousand rounds in a few hours at the range. But these people are both normal, well adjusted guys. The batman guy has problems. Even if he only had 100 bullets and a few handguns, he still would've been a problem. But I digress.

Anyways, I think the only thing they'd dig into with me is that I'm Italian, in Milwaukee and in the produce business. If someone did enough digging, they'd manage to find mob ties. Not by blood (that I know of), but there are old business partnerships that used to exist between my family and some well known mobsters. My dad testified before a grand jury once when there was a case involving someone that was involved in Goodfellas (they used a different name in the movie).

I'm pretty far removed from it all (I've met one person one time) so I can't imagine anything would become of it. My dad hasn't been involved in any of it in 20 years and it was all on the up and up (at least his dealings were).

[Infovore]

Am I going to Hell because I giggled at the fact that EmilyG double-posted her comments about being schizophrenic?

(And yes, I know schizophrenia doesn't really mean that. But I still chuckled).

/window seat, please

[Boyo Jim]

The will make a compelling story out of the fact that I have nothing unusual in my background. Headline: ANYONE CAN GO BAD!

[Enkel]

Lives alone, quiet, keeps to herself, extremely intelligent....

I hope my neighbors are quaking in their boots :-)

[Boyo Jim]

I do have a history of making posts that are the internet equivalent to drive-by-shootings. People shoulda known...

[silenus]

Another one in the "Enough weaponry to take down Seattle" category. Multiple firearms, massive amounts of ammo, bladed weapons all over the place...nothing unusual. They would probably run with the fact that I keep a loaded pistol in bathroom, though.

And the cats.

[Nawth Chucka]

Originally Posted by Infovore

Am I going to Hell because I giggled at the fact that EmilyG double-posted her comments about being schizophrenic?

(And yes, I know schizophrenia doesn't really mean that. But I still chuckled).

/window seat, please

I'll join you in that basket b/c OH LORD so was I.
The media will doubtlessly zero in on my Weird Al collection.

[EmilyG]

Originally Posted by Infovore

Am I going to Hell because I giggled at the fact that EmilyG double-posted her comments about being schizophrenic?

(And yes, I know schizophrenia doesn't really mean that. But I still chuckled).

/window seat, please

Oh dear, I didn't mean to double-post.

Or did I?

[Infovore]

Originally Posted by silenus

They would probably run with the fact that I keep a loaded pistol in bathroom, though.

And the cats.

You keep a loaded pistol in the cats?

That seems a bit extreme...

"When they take away our cats' guns..."

[Silvorange]

Oh, lord. I'm a LARPer with a history of mental problems, and I am in costume in half or more of my pictures online.

[Boyo Jim]

Originally Posted by silenus

Another one in the "Enough weaponry to take down Seattle" category. Multiple firearms, massive amounts of ammo, bladed weapons all over the place...nothing unusual. They would probably run with the fact that I keep a loaded pistol in bathroom, though.

And the cats.

You can just explain that the cats are your targets, and you used to have a LOT more of them.

[Beware of Doug]

Shit, what wouldn't they have a field day with? Mid 40s, never married, professionally unemployed, living with elderly parent, clinically depressed, autism spectrum, collects weird old stuff, gigs of pix of barefoot women...honestly, I'm a human time bomb, except that I hate all weapons and explosives.

[Boyo Jim]

Eh, pretty much anything can be a weapon with a little creativity. Particularly had tools -- may I suggest pipe wrenches, chain saws, and power drills?

[Rysto]

I grew up in the same city as two of my cousins, so I'm close to them despite the large age difference. The youngest is a girl and 12 years younger than me, and she's just turned 14. There's a yearly tournament held in the city that I've since moved to, and she's played in it for the last several years. I've attended three years running. I can only imagine how somebody could spin that if they really wanted to.

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

Originally Posted by Cinnamon Imp

Are you kidding? If you ever go postal, the *first* thing the media will latch on to, is how it's really the lion's fault for biting you that time!

You're right!

*updates list of excuses*

*not that I'm planning anything I'll need excuses for, honest*

[AClockworkMelon]

The BDSM, without question.

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Originally Posted by Silvorange

Oh, lord. I'm a LARPer with a history of mental problems, and I am in costume in half or more of my pictures online.

You had me at LARPer.


mmm

[Rhiannon8404]

I work with those horribly vicious pit bull dogs.

[lorene]

I was going to say, "oh nothing, really.". Then I looked at my screensaver, my iPhone, the stuffed animal across the room, the makeup mirror in my bag.

I would be the Hello Kitty Killer.

[Intergalactic Gladiator]

Originally Posted by Dallas Jones

I'm that nice, quiet guy who lives next door and never causes any trouble.

That's pretty much me there as well. Plus I am a former US Army Paratrooper, so you know that just makes me some kind of highly trained combat expert.

[thelurkinghorror]

Originally Posted by lorene

I was going to say, "oh nothing, really.". Then I looked at my screensaver, my iPhone, the stuffed animal across the room, the makeup mirror in my bag.

I would be the Hello Kitty Killer.

And of course...