What personality trait of yours can be considered borderline (or more) psychotic?

Admit it. You have one. Every person has one. That one trait you carry to the most extreme, to the point where any shrink worth their salt would say “You really are psycho.”

I am fiercely independent. I don’t like asking anyone for help. I’ll do it myself, thank you very much. In a recent time of trials and tribulations, when I could have gotten permanent disability, I insisted on finding a job. I turned a temporary part-time job into permanent full time work.

I hold grudges for years…well forever to the point where I won’t even speak out of what’s necessary to a co worker if they did anything negative towards me. It’s psychotic to the point where I won’t even talk to my own mother just because she thinks I should take care of her abandoned house for her and got shitty with me about it like it’s my responsibility to upkeep a house that she’s too lazy to even clean her junk out of it. I stopped being friends with someone after some 15 years because they never paid me the $20 they owed me then had the nerve to blow me off every time I’d ask about it, so yeah f you too buddy.

I can literally drop anyone off my social list permanently and it doesn’t bother me at all. Now that’s psychotic.

I pursue my bliss to the almost literal exclusion of everything (and everyone) else.

The one trait I can think of is that I can’t even imagine having any trouble killing someone. I mean, I don’t lose my temper, have any desire to kill, or believe that it’s even OK in most circumstances… I don’t even break minor rules for monetary or personal gain. I don’t think that I ever will be in a situation where I would kill.

But if there’s an armed burglar threatening my family or the military drafts me to go fight ISIS, my only hesitation would be tactical in nature, like making sure a missed gun shot doesn’t hit a bystander.

My bullshit tolerance is very high. As well as my forgive and forget and “well they meant well” and “people do stupid shit sometimes” and the like tolerance.

But push it too far and do it on purpose? Particularly when I’ve warned you not to on multiple occasions and or you pull shit like this constantly.

Ever seen the HULK? If mind over matter was a real thing…I’d be the fucking HULK.

Only about once every 5 to 10 years, but I can get there.

I’ve had plenty of friends and coworkers who know me as the most easy going likeable sweet guy they know.

And they have seen me Hulk mad. And I’m not even turning green or breaking battleships in half or cussing or ripping head off and shitting down throats or anything.

Apparently I just exude a “mad a hell vibe” that makes everyone in a 10 mile radius go “oh fuck”.

Hurt a defenseless old person, child, or animal in front of me and I beleive the definition would be Berserker; I go into a white hot uncontrollable rage that (from what I’m told) is terrifying to witness.

Unfortunately I have several. I’m a hot head and at times I have a hair trigger temper. Like heXen, I hold grudges for a very long time and if I don’t plan on seeing that person for a while, I hold it forever. Next, I am a germaphobe. I wash my hands alot and use hand sanitizer all the time. My hands are raw. With my family, I am the boss. It is my way or the highway. The thing is, I am always right. I wear my heart on my sleeve and when upset, people know it and i have a terrible look on my face. I am introverted, and enjoy being alone. I thought I was extroverted when younger because I was a go getter, but I think I have always been introverted. I am a pianist. That activity is an isolating activity.

I probably sound like a jerk, but I really am not. I am not like that all the time. I love animals probably too much. I care a lot about people. I help people all the time. I love very deeply, and in turn get hurt very deeply.

That’s about it. That’s enough!


Most of them.

On the internet, I tell people that I’m a steel-eyed lantern-jawed ender of lives when I’m crossed.

I collect eyes

I procrastinate a lot: always have.

I sweep things to the corner of my mind and promise I’ll deal with it later. I guess eventually I do, but I wish I just could be more productive on an ongoing basis.

I feel like I am very normal but I have been told I lack emotions, I rarely ever get angry or take things personal, even serious things don’t anger me. I have a few triggers that anger me disproportionately to the offense but not many.

I drink out of the milk carton; I will eat your leftover pizza.

If the idea of going to jail wasn’t so abhorrent, I wouldn’t be so law-abiding. I’ve always been a “good” person–not because I want to be good, but because I hate getting in trouble.

I don’t like last minute changes.

Ivylad and I were running errands and as we were walking into the grocery store his sister and husband drove up behind us. It was a nice surprise and we were happy to see them. They invited us to join them for lunch.

I actually froze. I had the list in my head of what we were going to do that day, and eating lunch with family wasn’t on it. I hadn’t planned on it.

Of course we went to lunch with them. And I’ve been trying to work on my spontaneity. But having a routine, knowing what I’m supposed to do and getting it done is very rewarding for me. Don’t throw a wrench in my works.

I find it very hard to praise, and very easy to criticize. Of course this manifests first in myself: I’m very, very hard on myself and everything I do (and don’t do). But hellz to the yeah, I’m silently criticizing you, too, if it’s something I care about. It isn’t a judgment thing, it’s a “this could be better” thing.

I like to analyze. That’s the nice way to put it.

Or, I have a realistic grasp on what matters and what doesn’t.

Or something.

I’ve got this too. I can be genuinely delighted to unexpectedly run into someone I like, but if I’ve got plans for the rest of my day and they suggest a change to that, it messes with my karma way more than it should.

Rocking from side to side (slowly) when I am standing listening to someone talk as if I had a child on my hip that I was comforting with the movement.

Lately I have been trying to make myself aware of it. I make a real effort to stop and keep my body still. Then a few minutes later I catch myself doing it again…and again…

Yep, pretty psychotic.

I’m another that doesn’t like my plans to change at the last minute. I’m extremely inflexible that way and I know it can seem crazy, but I can’t help it.

I also have a huge fear of getting in trouble- specifically, going to court. I can turn a simple parking ticket into a warrant for my arrest just because I get paralyzed when faced with any kind of legal trouble and won’t take care of things like that but will instead ignore it and hope it goes away.

I think if you started a thread about this, you’d be surprised just how often lending someone some money (any amount of money) is the death knell for the friendship.

It has happened to me enough times that I just tell people who want to borrow money that if I have to lose the money or lose their friendship, I’d rather lose their friendship and keep my money. In almost all cases, they chose to remain friends. But I never trust them again after that.