Songs where the object of affection is NOT attractive...

[WordMan]

Hmm...

- AC/DC, Whole Lotta Rosie

- Jim Croce, Roller Derby Queen

There are plenty more, but that's a reasonable start!

[Hal Briston]

Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen:

Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh, and that's alright with me

[Biffy the Elephant Shrew]

The Kinks: "When I Turn Off the Living Room Light"

(I can't forgive that opening line, though. Why, Ray?)

[Happy Lendervedder]

Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful."


Nice sentiment, til you get to the "to me" part.

[RealityChuck]

"If You Want to Be Happy" by Jimmy Soul

If you want be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

[sohvan]

The Most Beautiful Girl (In The Room) by Flight of the Conchords.

[Rhythmdvl]

I always hoped someone would write a love song for Allison Gross. Song always made me feel sorry for her.

[jayjay]

"If You Could See Her" from Cabaret.

[njtt]

My Funny Valentine.

Hey fatty bum bum.

[Rocketeer]

She's My Girl by Tom Lehrer.

[DCnDC]

Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls

[DWMarch]

Superballs by the Insane Clown Posse.

"You know that bag lady skank that always bothers you?
I'm here to fuck her yo... it's what I do!"

[Simplicio]

The Chelsea Hotel No. 2

I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel
You were famous, your heart was a legend
You told me again you preferred handsome men
But for me you would make an exception

Supposedly about Leonard Cohen and Janis Joplin, neither of which were particularly physically attractive.

[salinqmind]

You Got What It Takes - The Dave Clark Five

'you don't live in a beautiful place, you don't dress in the best of taste, nature didn't give you such a beautiful face, but baby, you got what it takes - oh! - to satisfy....
you got what it takes for me!'

always loved this song. Take that, super-models and movie stars, us homely folks find love, too!

[Ponch8]

Dave Clark Five's "You Got What It Takes":

You don't live in a beautiful place
And you don't dress in the best of taste
Oh! Nature didn't give you such a beautiful face
But baby, you got what it takes

[Suburban Plankton]

I always got the feeling that Maggie May was a few years past her prime...

[Simplicio]

My Funny Valentine

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you're my favourite work of art

[RealityChuck]

Originally Posted by jayjay

"If You Could See Her" from Cabaret.

Nice choice. Probably the most subversive love song ever.

[Ethilrist]

Springtime for Hitler (we needed an "unattractive guy" song, after all...)

[tomcar]

Thunder Road

[jayjay]

Originally Posted by RealityChuck

Nice choice. Probably the most subversive love song ever.

With a very effective gut-punch at the end.

[cjepson]

"She's Just My Style" by Gary Lewis & the Playboys?

"Other guys who meet her, they don't think she's much to see
I can't even tell you what she always does to me"

Then there are a variety of songs that appear to be about women who perhaps do not fit the ideal of conventional beauty, such as:

Short Fat Fanny
Skinny Minnie
Boney Moronie

Jimmy Murphy's "Put Some Meat on Them Bones"

[Peanuthead]

I once heard a bluegrass tune with the chorus:

Always marry an ugly girl.
That's my favorite kind.
She'll never ever leave you
but if she does you won't mind.

[Johnny Q]

U Stink But I Love U-- Billy and the Boingers

[bup]

Lyle Lovett - She's Hot to Go

Originally Posted by Lyle P Lovett

Well I could handle it behind her
And I like it on the side
But don't make me look around her man 'cause she's
Ugly-ugly-ugly-ugly-ugly
She was ugly from the front...

[Suse]

Stay With Me - Rod Stewart
Won't need too much persuading
I don't mean to sound degrading
But with a face like that
You got nothing to laugh about

[RealityChuck]

Funny Honey from Chicago, though it's meant ironically.

[billfish678]

Lola perhaps? At the very least she walked like a woman and talked like a man which doesn't sound all that great honestly.

[KarlGrenze]

Crank it up, somewhat...

[Blake]

A Better Place To Be, Harry Chapin

"“I wish that I was beautiful, or you were half way blind.
And I wish I wern't so dog gone fat, and I wish that you were mine."

[RealityChuck]

Martin Mull's "(How Could I Not Miss) A Girl Your Size." As a bonus, both the singer and his love are obese.

[Wesley Clark]

Mail order Annie - Harry Chapin


You know you're not as pretty as I dreamed you'd be,
But then I'm not no handsome fancy Dan.
And out here looks are really not important.
It's what's inside a woman when she's up against the land.

[Dendarii Dame]

"Bill" from Showboat:
And I can't explain,
It's surely not his brain
That makes me thrill -
I love him because he's wonderful,
Because he's just my Bill.

Someone (I think it was Barbra Streisand) sang this to President Clinton and when I saw the clip, I thought, "Didn't anybody think about the lyrics?"

[astro]

A song about a skinny, bald woman.

Well, long tall Sally, she's built for speed
She got everything that Uncle John need

Oh baby, yes, babyOoh baby, havin' me some fun tonight, yeah

Well, I saw Uncle John with bald head Sally
He saw Aunt Mary comin' and he ducked back in the alley

[astro]

BABALU'S WEDDING DAY


Featuring "husky Babalina"

He met his woman at a baseball game
Playing second base for the Milwaukee Braves
Husky Babalina was her name
Asked her for an autograph and made a date
Babalu, Babalu, Babalu's wedding day

[Hippy Hollow]

If we broaden the criteria to unconventionally attractive, I'd nominate "Dare To Be Fat" by Rootboy Slim.

"That's okay, I'm portly too."

[dropzone]

Billy Joel "I Love You Just the Way You Are."

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

Your clothes are crap, your hair is ugly, but at least you're stupid. (sigh) SO romantic!

[Ponch8]

Originally Posted by Suse

Stay With Me - Rod Stewart
Won't need too much persuading
I don't mean to sound degrading
But with a face like that
You got nothing to laugh about

Rod Stewart also has "Maggie May":

The morning sun when it's in your face really shows your age
But that don't worry me none in my eyes you're everything

[hogarth]

Nice Legs, Shame About Her Face by The Monks

[denquixote]

"Baldhead" by Professor Longhair (Roy BYrd) "Oh looky there she ain't got no hair."

[Peter Morris]

An old hare hoar,
And an old hare hoar,
Is very good meat in Lent
But a hare that is hoar
Is too much for a score
When it hoars ere it be spent.

[Peter Morris]

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

[ioioio]

Gram Parsons: She

but he didn't mind if she wasn't very pretty
for deep inside his heart he knew she was the only one
ooh, but she sure could sing

[alice_in_wonderland]

Originally Posted by Simplicio

The Chelsea Hotel No. 2



Supposedly about Leonard Cohen and Janis Joplin, neither of which were particularly physically attractive.

I came in here to say this, and there's no supposedly about it - Leonard Cohen describes writing it about Janice Joplin when he performs it live.

[TreacherousCretin]

Originally Posted by salinqmind

You Got What It Takes - The Dave Clark Five

Originally Posted by Ponch8

Dave Clark Five's "You Got What It Takes":

Nobody can touch Mike Smith's performance of this song (it's my favorite DC5 record), but just so you know, it was first recorded in 1959 by Marv Johnson.

My entry in the sweepstakes is The Lovin' Spoonful's Bald Headed Lena. (I don't know if it's their song or a cover.)
Bald Headed Lena
Has anybody seen her
Cute as she can be
She's got a cue ball head
That's hard as lead
But she's all right with me

[bouv]

The Lonely Island - "Dream Girl" (Brought to you by Chex Mix)

"Dream girl you amaze me, all dressed in paisley
Love how not one but both eyes are lazy
When I first saw you you were drivin' the bus
Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros"

[Evil Captor]

Joe Tex Skinny Legs and All

[dinahmoe]

Louis Jordan- You're My Meat.

[Shoeless]

A flashback from my childhood - The Banana Splits Two Ton Tessie

[Chefguy]

Huggin' and Chalkin', Hoagy Carmichael: about how great it is to have a fat woman, and how you need a piece of chalk so you can tell where you began huggin' her.

Your Feet's Too Big, Fats Waller

The Freckle Song

"She's got freckles on her BUT: she's nice."

Let's Do Something Cheap and Superficial, Burt Reynolds