How the hell did I end up here?

[NRayeMc]

I was searching for information on nightmares and this is the first place that popped up in Google. So I came here, registered and now I'm lost! I see a lot of interesting topics but not what I'm looking for now!!

[TriPolar]

We all end up here through similar circumstances. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there is no way out. Go to the forum Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS) and start a thread introducing yourself. Maybe a mod will move this one there for you. You'll be welcomed by the Teeming Millions. After all, you're one of us now.

We accept you, one of us! Gooble Gobble!

[aldiboronti]

Google served you well. This is the home of nightmares. (For geezenstacks though you'll have to go here.)

[C K Dexter Haven]

Whatever mysterious fate led you here, you're most welcome. We are a site with several ways to find information.

First, you can search Cecil's columns (in the Archive at http://www.straightdope.com/columns/archive ) for columns on nightmares (there don't seem to be any specific, but there is one on lucid dreaming and one on being scared to death (literally.)

Second, you can post on our Message Boards. We've got lots of folks here with lots of strange interests and an uncanny ability to find things on the internet, so p'raps someone can help with your specific questions. If you're asking a question with a factual answer, I suggest you post in the forum called "General Questions." If you're asking a question that's a matter of opinion rather than factual answer, I suggest the forum called "Great Debates."

Anyhow, welcome!

[kambuckta]

Mwahahahahaa.

Did you bring goat, or pie, I can never remember which is the initiation thingamagig.

Welcome....we're all lost here. You are now one of us. Pull up a chair and enjoy the ride!

[samclem]

Is this the thread you were searching for?

[twickster]

Welcome to the SDMB, NRayeMc. It is, indeed, a strange and wonderful place. I got here ten years ago and haven't figured out where the exit is yet.

I'm moving your thread to our MPSIMS forum, which is where, among other things, the welcoming committee hangs out. They'll be along soon.

Again, welcome! Enjoy your stay.

twickster, MPSIMS moderator

[BubbaDog]

Hi NRayeMc,

You're going to need an elevator pass to find your way around here. And I just happen to have one at half price that I can sell you.

[Czarcasm]

Originally Posted by samclem

Is this the thread you were searching for?

It works much better if you imagine The Amazing Jonathan saying the above line.

[Inner Stickler]

Originally Posted by kambuckta

Did you bring goat, or pie, I can never remember which is the initiation thingamagig.

The initiate should have prepared a post-rites spread which should include pie but the goat is part of the ceremony itself and only used if Mariah gets too handsy. Or tentacle-y, rather.

[Yllaria]

Originally Posted by kambuckta

Mwahahahahaa.

Did you bring goat, or pie, I can never remember which is the initiation thingamagig.

Welcome....we're all lost here. You are now one of us. Pull up a chair and enjoy the ride!

HE brings the pie, WE bring the goat. Geeze.

And the goat will be lonely because the squid is still out sick.

So, what were you wanting to know about nightmares, NRayeMc? I haven't had one in decades, personally. My own definition of nightbares includes a feeling of fear, though, and I'm a lucid dreamer. I don't count it as a nightmare if unpleasant things are happening, but I know it's a dream so I'm not afraid, just kind of annoyed.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Originally Posted by Yllaria

And the goat will be lonely because the squid is still out sick.

Someone comes in here asking about nightmares and the squid is sick? Don't worry, NRayeMc, I'm sure we'll find a way to show you something about nightmares, even without the squid. Muahahahaha!

[johnpost]

information on nightmares is over in the Elections forum.

[Taomist]

Originally Posted by johnpost

information on nightmares is over in the Elections forum.

Wouldn't elections fall under 'lucid dreaming'? 'And then, on the second Wednesday of November, he woke up. The End.'

Welcome to the boards! I suggest keeping brownies around. Sure, sure, breadcrumbs are the traditional 'mark your path so you can get out' foodage of choice, but brownies are more pleasing to the locals.

Also, we eat them, so you can't get back out again, but don't tell the new guy.

[cmyk]

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining? Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing, 'cause the rowers keep on rowing!
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!


uuuUUUUUHHHHAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

[Sunspace]

Originally Posted by twickster

Welcome to the SDMB, NRayeMc. It is, indeed, a strange and wonderful place. I got here ten years ago and haven't figured out where the exit is yet.

I found a way out once, but I went back in to rescue someone else, and then the way out was gone...

[Zebra]

So ask your nightmare questions.

[Arrogance Ex Machina]

Maybe this thread is his nightmare, and all of us mere puppets in his dreams.

[Lukeinva]

You are here because Google knows all the best advice comes from the Straight Dope Advisory Board, which is basically everybody. And, nightmares are a specialty.

Soo... pull up a chair and pay a nickle.

[carnivorousplant]

Spell check optional.

[Digital is the new Analog]

Originally Posted by TriPolar

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there is no way out.

You can check out any time you'd like, but you can never....
I forget the rest.

-D/a

[Bumbershoot]

There's no way out of here, when you come in you're in for good

There was no promise made, the part you've played, the chance you took

There are no boundaries set, the time and yet you waste it still

[carnivorousplant]

Jesus guys, you are really messing with the newbie.
Go get a beer or something.

[SeaDragonTattoo]

Didja open another tab and just repeat the Google search you did before? Same thread should pop up. Or you can just start a new one of your own. If you wanted to respond to the originally found one, if it was old, we would prefer you start a new thread anyway, and maybe link to the old one if you really think it's needed.

[Ruby]

Sheesh, hope we didn't scare him/her away!

[Duckster]

We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical ...

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by cmyk

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining? Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing, 'cause the rowers keep on rowing!
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!


uuuUUUUUHHHHAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Watch out for this one.

[Sunspace]

Originally Posted by Cat Whisperer

Watch out for this one.

...he looks normal.

[Taomist]

Originally Posted by Sunspace

...he looks normal.

Until...the drink was drunk!

[digs]

Originally Posted by Sunspace

I found a way out once, but I went back in to rescue someone else, and then the way out was gone...

It's not gone. I've kept one eye on it for a decade now, just so I could leave if I ever wanted to. It's a lovely set of french doors with gauzy curtains. See? Right here in the conservatory, next to the antiq... wait, it was right there!

Damn.

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by Sunspace

...he looks normal.

Well, normal-ish.

[cmyk]

But I feel weiiiiiird.

Anyhow, this place is like the Navidson's closet in House of Leaves. It's bigger, and more twisted than it looks from the outside, plenty easy to get lost, and, for me anyway, lots of wandering around in the dark with no idea if friend, foe or an echo chamber is around the next corner. Bring plenty of food, fluids, and a shotgun.

Well, maybe one part House of Leaves, and one part Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

[cmyk]

...Okay, looks like the coast is clear; I think we scared him off.

Everyone can return to normal.

[zoid]

Originally Posted by Czarcasm

It works much better if you imagine The Amazing Jonathan saying the above line.

OK - that cracked me the FUCK up

[Cicero]

I am the board stud.

Don't listen to the other craven toadies.

[carnivorousplant]

Originally Posted by Cicero

I am the board stud.

A 2"x2"? 2"x4"?

[Cicero]

That would be right. I try a witty response and get upstaged

[Sunspace]

Originally Posted by Cicero

I am the board stud.

Does that mean you get nailed, or hammered?

[Gagundathar]

Aw, y'all. It looks like we scared off NRayeMc.
That isn't good.
We need new blood.

<grovel> <slather> <sniff>

[Mama Zappa]

Welcome! I have to say: if you don't find what you're looking for here, you're looking for the wrong thing . Personally, it was Scylla's "Horror of Blimps" that got me to register (hadda register to search).

[Curiosity Kills Her]

I heard it's on the new migratory route.

[digs]

Wait... blimps have a migratory route?



(Loads shotgun, places under pillow)

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by cmyk

But I feel weiiiiiird.

Anyhow, this place is like the Navidson's closet in House of Leaves. It's bigger, and more twisted than it looks from the outside, plenty easy to get lost, and, for me anyway, lots of wandering around in the dark with no idea if friend, foe or an echo chamber is around the next corner. Bring plenty of food, fluids, and a shotgun.

Well, maybe one part House of Leaves, and one part Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

See what I mean?

[Dogzilla]

Believe me, I've been asking myself that same question for (checks registration date) oh, about 12 years. Welcome to the Straight Dope. You can check out, but you can never leave. Mwahhh ha ha.

[carnivorousplant]

Originally Posted by Dogzilla

Welcome to the Straight Dope. You can check out, but you can never leave.

But one can become banned.

[TriPolar]

Originally Posted by carnivorousplant

But one can become banned.

That makes it twice as hard to leave. First you have to get unbanned, then you have to look for the emergency exit that's never there when you need it.

[Bumbershoot]

And you may ask yourself "Well, how did I get here?"

Same as it ever was

Same as it ever was

[carnivorousplant]

Originally Posted by TriPolar

That makes it twice as hard to leave. First you have to get unbanned, then you have to look for the emergency exit that's never there when you need it.

You guys are a bunch of regular Miss Sunshines, you are.

[Hockey Monkey]

I stumbled in here in 2006 via the pimple thread. I've been here almost every day since. I keep trying to quit you SDMB, but you keep pulling me back in! *shakes fist*

Don't worry, there's lots to read.

[Happy Lendervedder]

About 11 years ago, I just stopped in here to take a leak. The urinal cakes smelled like sarin gas. Somehow I ended up chained to a mule for a month. Whatever you do, NRayeMc, don't use the bathroom marked "Little Ed."