You hover over the links in your email, waiting for a thread hint to pop up.
You refer to yourself as your username in real life conversations.
“Hi, I’m Bob!”
“Hi, Bob! I’m NoClueBoy. Nice to meetcha ya. Do you like pie?”
I do go by “Larry Mudd” (not my real name) in many social and some quasi-professional (arts-related) situations. :o
[ul]You yell “cite” when you’re watching the news.[/ul]
A few days ago a stray cat got into a tree (long story). First thought wasn’t “call the fire dept/police/etc.” … it was “What forum should I post this in to get the best advice quickest?”
I don’t need a 12-step program, I need an intervention.
This is boring but…
… When you walk home from work composing a SDMB post in your head.
::applause::
I feel so much better about myself 
Recently at a regional Library conference we were asked to tell about a problem that our library had faced, and how we solved it. I mentioned that we had lost most of our Sci-Fi readers and wanted to lure them back. However no one on the staff read Sci-Fi, so we didn’t know what authors to order. When asked what we did to solve the problem I said “Well first I asked for recommendations from my fellow Dopers”. :eek:
You are sitting in class, and you remember a thread about school and start cracking up. When the class turns around and the teacher starts to scold you, you immeditly start to think of a thread about this moment, and what fourm you should put it under. You then write you entire thread out, fake being sick to be sent home and sprint the 1+ miles to your home, to post it.
No, I haven’t done this.
yet
When you get pissed off at something, then declare to your friends that you are going to “Pit” it later - only to be recieved with blank stares.
When I’m writing a paper for one of my classes and I keep looking for the “Submit Reply” button.
You are sitting at the computer in your classroom, chuckling like a maniac, while your sophomores file in. When they ask what is so funny, you realise a) you were reading The Pit, and can’t say those words in class, and b) they wouldn’t know who Lobsang was anyway.
Or, you don’t get the notes for today’s lesson on the board because you wasted all of your preptime reading Rue’s MMP and trying to come up with a worthy response that will get you mentioned in a reply.
I’ve done this before! First few times they looked at me like a crazy person, but now a few of them get it. Others just stare and move away. shrugs
I’m just glad I’m not the only one.
I usually start to make excuses the quickly change the subject - “I said I’m pissed, I just have a stuffy no- LOOK, A HOT GIRL!” 
Being in a high school has its advantages.
Indeed it does…But I’m not a guy, so I can’t use the “LOOK! A HOT GIRL!” thing, so I would drop my books, or trip one of them. My friends are clumsy, so it doesn’t REALLY looked like I tripped them on purpose.
I’ve tried to explain some odd customs to other people, hi opal among others. You just can’t explain it to them entirely… it doesn’t work.
You deliberately start doing weird or dangerous things so you’ll have a source of interesting posting material.
You see a Ford Astro van and wonder why some else is driving your vehicle.
Anyone else ever dream an SDMB thread?
That’s right. A dream about reading and posting to an online message board. It included reading an OP, a few threads, and then posting and responding to other’s posts. I remember the dream, but I can’t remember the topic. I do remember feelings of angst toward other posters though.
You put your username in the “search by keyword” field to see who’s quoted you.
If you ever hit the refresh button while on the same page.
If you keep a running tally of those that think like you, and those that don’t.
If the stupid little things that people do make you homicidal, like a poster’s “style” that makes you want to do bad things to them.
You do research for 2 hours in order to answer a question that you don’t give a shit about.
Online personalities replace normal human interaction.
You finish every conversation with a pause and a predetermined sentence?
You stop drinking soda at your desk because you’re tired of spraying it all over the keyboard 