So I was sitting in class at college the other day bored out of my mind when I had an idea, lets see how many dopers I can name off the top of my head I was up to 53 when the teacher gave us a pop quiz, so I had to stop. I apparently have no life, what about you all? What lets you know that you spend way too much time here?
I have to travel out of town tomorrow, and I just have to leave early in the morning. But here I am, at 23:20, with my eyelids getting heavy, and simply no intention of hitting the sack.
I haven’t even packed (go to sleep, you dumbass!!).
If you haven’t had dreams about the SDMB, and if you didn’t have withdrawal symptoms when the board went down a couple weeks ago, you don’t dope too much.
How about when I plan a vacation to go back home, and I immediately make a list of Dopers to call and hang out with, before I even remember my family. . .
I am sooo bad about that.
. . . you can’t have a conversation with friends without saying (at least once) “That reminds me of this thing someone said on the Straight Dope . . .”. Or even worse, you realize how pathetic you are starting to sound, so you try to work whatever was said in a thread into your life (i.e. you lie). Instead of happening on the SDMB it happend to you. Someones cute story about their little brother becomes your little brother cause you know you mention the SDMB way too much. Even worse then that is when you lie about it, make it seem like your life, and then your friends grill you on it and realize you are not telling the truth. They then guess that you are talking about the SDMB after all, and then procede to mock you until you cry . . .
Hope that never happens to me . . . .
::looks around nervously::
…you use ‘SDMB’ as a verb.
You are typing a document and you automatically use ** or *. You are doubly addicted if you do this around someone’s name.
You automatically begin every sentence with:
“That reminds me of a thread I was reading today on the Dope…”
and realize that only your sister and possibly one or two co-workers know you mean this Dope and don’t wig out thinking you were stoned and trying to read embroidery.
This happens just every so often. Not too much. Really.
Dammit I can quit any time I want!
When your driving by a sign that says “post party” and the first thing that pops into your mind is the SD.
You’re going out of town for 3 weeks and you realize you won’t have computer access for the whole time but you tell yourself “it’s going to be okay” over and and over and over again and it’s still a week before you leave.
[li]When you realize you really should go to bed, but you just have to open about twenty threads (and reply to half of them) before you do. (this has happened to me three nights in a row now…)[/li][li]When your friends ask you every week about that “crazy message board” you’re on, and give you questions just to submit to “the great wealth of knowledge at your fingertips.”[/li][li]When you think of Dopers almost all the time (sometimes using their real names if you know them)… like what they’re going through, what they’d be doing, etc.[/li][list]
Damn coding errors. Maybe I should go to bed before I commit more egregious ones. Sigh… and I forgot my sign-off, too!
Speaking of the esteemed poster immediately above me…
When you take your wireless networked laptop with you into the bathroom and post away instead of reading a magazine like normal people do.
Stop hitting me. I mean it, stop right now.
I think it was sometime last winter, somebody brought the same subject up on the SD. Can’t remember what the answer was though-shit, who OP’d that thread?- it’ll come to me…
SD, the STRAIGHT DOPE MESSAGE BOARD–no, wrong definition, dope as in information, although you can talk about the other kind if you don’t–but that’s beside the point. If I can find it on Search, I’ll phone you and let you know what conclusions the TM made. Teeming Millions-that’s what the members are cal–Okay, I’ve gotta go too. Later…
:: walks away, concentration knitting his brow::
Damn, who OP’d that piece?
… you open a new savings account, the primary intent of which is to save money in order to attend as many Dopefests as possible…
… then transfer money from every pay into said account, as well as your quarterly profit sharing bonuses…
… you wake up far too early on a Saturday morning (like, now), want to go back to sleep, but hey, check the boards anyway…
… you get bored with current threads, so check each board back to “the beginning”…
… when getting rides home with co-workers, you never shut up about previous Dopefests, planned Dopefests, possible Dopefests, the boards going down and having withdrawal…
… you have co-workers scan Dopefest pictures for you, then email them (as well as non-Doper friends) the links once they’re posted…
More to come, maybe.
Let’s see that list.
You know you SDMB too much when… you wonder if you were remembered on someone’s list of 53 dopers.
You know you SDMB too much when you have home phone numbers of more than 12 dopers who do not live in your state/province/country.
…you ask people constantly for cites for any “facts” they state.
For me, it’s my speech - I have to stop myself from saying “IMHO”, “TMI”, “BTW”, etc, etc, IRL all the time, and I find I’ve started to talk somewhat in the fashion of a typed response. But it’s so much easier to say abbreviations, than use the whole danged phrase! (At least my husband is a part-time Doper, so he understands me when I talk Dope-speak. :D) And dalovindj, I have to stop myself from talking about stuff “from a message board I’m on” all the time, too.
When you’re watching the Disney channel and this little blob of clay character says, “who-ha” and you can’t stop giggling, and your 6 YO is asking you 'what’s so funny?"
When you’re having a crisis, or rough patch and debate whether or not to ask for advice on the SD.
When you hear of faraway places in the news and think “hey this doper lives there, I wonder if it’s affecting them”
When you wonder if you bumped into another local doper on the train would you recognize them. (this is tricky especially since you’ve never seen them)
When your co-worker asks about your plans for the weekend, and you reply, “Well, me and Astrogirl are thinking of…” instead of using her REAL name…