Most embarrassing unnoticed personal laxity

You know, the time you went outside with snot on your collar or a chocolate stain on the seat of your trousers.

For me, it would be the time I cut my hair (with clippers) and left a three-inch bald patch on the back of my head. My wife only pointed it out two days later. Two days looking like a cat that’s just had surgery. Damn you, life!

I have pet parrots.

One day at work a coworker kindly informed me that one of them had taken a shit down my back. Unbeknowst to me.

Fortunately, I was in the habit of keeping a sweater in my work area.

One day I stopped by my brothers house. Some clients were coming over to sign some papers so he asked me to go away for awhile because it wouldn’t look professional. I agreed and went to grab a burger.

I get back after they have left and notice his fly is WIDE open.

Well, I spent a day at work with a balled up sock stuck in my pant leg - that’s all I can think of right now. I’m sure I’ll think of more later. :slight_smile:

Were there several signatures inside?

We were out of town at a wedding, had partied late and sleeping the next am when our hotel door suddenly opened and a surprised guest looked in, then left. Shortly after a manager knocked wanting to know why we were there. Well, it was completely their mistake but I had to get up and go to the lobby with him to straighten it out. Down there with other guests trying to register I suddenly caught a look at myself in some polished marble. I lifted my hand to my head and yeah, besides the sleepy, unshaved face and wrinkled clothes I’ve got bed hair sticking up like a peacock tail.

My example isn’t a funny-embarrassed situation, but rather a situation that made me feel bad facing a rude unnecessary remark from a total stranger.

I have a naturally “ruddy” complexion- the pinkness in my face can vary based on temperature, irritants, or sometimes seemingly for no reason at all. And my face is never uniformly pink, the pinkness comes in blotches.

In addition to a ruddy complexion, I also have real skin problems- psoriasis. Luckily it have it mostly in places hidden by clothes or hair, but sometimes get patches on my face.

My skin is extremely sensitive. I have found that I am best served to shave everyday because two days of whisker growth provides too much resistence to the razor- it severely irritates my skin resulting in lots of pink bumps and general pink swelling.

On the day of the incident, I had gone maybe three days without shaving. I had let myself go because I had been feeling depressed and was avoiding people anyway. On this day I actually cleaned myself up, determined to lift myself out of that funk. I shaved knowing that my face would look terrible, but it was going to have to happen sometime and I knew that I would look fine the following day.

Looking for something to do, but not ready to be social with anyone, I decided to see a matinee at a movie theater that was walking distance from my apartment. It was a sunny Los Angeles day, but even my sensitive ruddy skin would survive the five block walk to the movie theater.

On my walk to the movie theater to see a movie I had been looking forward to, determined to shake the depression and feel better about myself, an adult complete stranger spoke up to scold me for “letting” myself “sunburn like that”. She actually told me “you should be ashamed of yourself” that I better go home right now and put some sunblock on, that I looked like a mess.

This was like getting kicked in the stomache the way it added to how I had already been feeling bad about myself- and on the day I had determined to start feeling better!
Anecdote contributed to this Thread as “personal laxity” = neglecting to shave for three days despite knowing the effect it would have on my skin and appearance.

Not the most embarrassing, but the one that comes to mind first:

I was playing solo classical guitar in some friends’ wedding and didn’t realize a bird had taken a shit on my shoulder until after the recessional.

Wow, this is making the day I went to work with my pants on backwards look pretty damned good!

I did the inverse. I cut my hair with clippers (no guard, lowest setting) and left an uncut patch on the back of my head. Embarassing!

We were headed to a bar for a few beers before dinner. My gf pointed out that my ski-jacket had too much dog hair on it.She took it from me and tossed it in the dryer for a minute.

At the bar I was hair free. However, stuck to the collar Velcro was a pair of my gf’s tiny, black, thong underwear.

That’s not laxity, my good man, that’s bragging!!

In the dark, it can be hard to distinguish between black and brown shoes. You know the difference later in the day though, when you realize you have one of each.

I went a whole morning once not realizing that I had some melted chocolate chip from a cookie on my face. On the bright side I have freckles so I hope it just blended in.

I left the house not realizing that only half of my face was shaved once.

ETA: Another time I didn’t realize until I was on the bus downtown to work that under my coat I was only wearing a white undershirt. I’d forgotten to put on a sweater.

I spent an entire day at work doing silk flower arrangements in dry floral foam. It’s gray and powdery.
Directly after work the family went out to dinner together. Several times during the evening I was asked if I felt alright (which I did). When I finally looked at my face in the mirror at bedtime I realized I looked like death. The gray powder from the floral foam had settled on my face and caked in all the crevasses.
I would have made an excellent movie extra in Night of the Living Dead.

This is a common enough occurrence at our house that I’m less embarrassed than I once was.

I was in a grocery store when a balled-up boxer brief lost its static cling and fell out of my pant leg.

I don’t think anybody noticed but my wife. She’s been careful to tell everyone we know, however. Twice, unless they stop her.

Nose guard.

Many years ago, on St Patrick’s Day, a buddy of mine got shitfaced and shaved half of himself. Head to toe. He put on a pair of shorts and a wife-beater and hit the bars.

ETA: nose-guard? heh.

beinville, that’s awful. I think if strangers do that sort of thing to you, you have every right to then shame them completely. “Well, ma’am, my favoritest godparent just died and I haven’t had the strength to cope with anything. Can you give me a hug?” Asshole.

As for me, I lost my one-piece bathing suit top at a water park in front of all my older friends when I was about fifteen. The bad part was that they were trying to tell me what happened while I stood there stupidly, not understanding what they were getting at. Gah. When it finally hit me, I spent most of the rest of the day hiding in the restroom. Not my finest moment, indeed.

I drove 12 hours to be in a friend’s wedding. It was a nice, sunny day - one of the first we’d had that spring, so I drove the whole way with the window down and my arm out the window. I tan very, very easily. The bridesmaids’ dresses were sleeveless.