Earth, open up and swallow me.

Tonight a friend and I went to a movie(Hostel 2, in case anyone’s interested), and afterward I went to the ladies room, and walked back out with a 2 foot trail of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe. :smack: Of course there had to be a group of high schoolers to witness this and commence pointing, laughing, and howling(not an exaggeration, unfortunately). I have social anxiety, and this pretty much describes one of my worst nightmares come to life.

Make me feel better by telling me what mortifying thing YOU’VE done lately.

Can’t think of anything off the top of my head, at the moment – but just popped in to wish you a Welcome to the SDMB, Ms. Pumpkin.

Does the fact that I have a running gag with a co-worker – “You stay away from me with that coffee, you haven’t spilled any coffee on anyone in three days and you’re due!” – count? :smack:

Seriously – learn to laugh it off. And if it’s strangers pointing and laughing, remind yourself how much better you are than they are, since you don’t do things like that! :slight_smile:

Hey, at least it wasn’t trailing out of your butt.

Actually, don’t you feel kind of relieved now that one of your worst nightmares has happened, and you survived it? If you’re not laughing about it already, I promise you will be one day. :slight_smile:

I work in a restaurant and I guess the last couple of times I spilled drinks on customers was pretty embarrassing. They all managed to take it in pretty good humor, luckily.

See… it wasn’t so bad afterall.

Foot. Paper. Stupid kids.

Bah! Ain’t nuttin’.

Wait until the giving a speech to 1000 people and realizing you are naked moment.

Went to a party, little tipsy, laughing my arse off, and I wee’ed myself. Fortunately the hostess also has a dodgy pelvic floor, so was made to feel better, but I still went home, redfaced and hot.

Once in college I was doing laundry at 4 am. I had the basket in one hand and laundry detergent in the other. I needed a free hand to open the door so I decided to put the laundry basket on my head… like a hat. Now sit back and take a second to imagine this. Im opening the door to go out side and i’m wearing a big laundry basket that covers half my upper body… wearing it like a hat.

Well much to my surprise I open the door to find my neighbors making out in front of their door. As you can imagine I was pretty ridiculous looking. They just turned and stared at me ludicrously as I slowly took off the basket and walked to the laundry room without a word.

Dang, that sounds like it would have been the perfect chance for a hookup based on finding a common bond. You really missed out. Y’all could have been weeing together all night.

I was sitting at a very long traffic light the one day, right next to a drugstore. A woman comes out of the store, walks across the parking lot and heads down the street…with a tail of toilet paper sticking out of the waistband of her shorts and reaching to her knees. The fluttering of the white tail is what caught my eye. She had walked up the street from her home, walked all the way around the store doing her shopping and was now heading back down the street to home, and no one had mentioned it to her, poor dear.

My most recent embarrassment was just last night.
I sauntered into my local pub, all cocky about surviving the week, threw a mischievous smile to the cute girl sitting next me and ordered a tall Shiner Bock draft.

I took a sip and promptly spilled the rest of the brew onto my lap.
When I returned with fresh pair of jeans, she was gone.
So much for first impressions. :smack:

At my job just two weeks. Go to make coffee for myself.

Now, we sell coffee, so I have a proper espresso machine to make it on, (2 group machine, with steam wand, all that.)

I try to froth milk - with instructions. I do not, however, shut off the steam before taking it out of the milk. I am now covered in hot milk, as is the machine, the guy standing next to me, the ceiling, the counter and the floor.

Now, I am not allowed to make my own coffee, which is nice since I’m in an office full of Italians who trained in Italy as baristas. I just make a vauge move toward the machine and mention I’d like a coffee, and several people rush to make it for me!

But it was SO embarrassing!

Cheers,
G

Oh, years back in junior college, I was wearing my favorite skirt(a nice, lightweight, airy wraparound)lovely tucked in shirt and needed to use the restroom.

Having done my business and tidied up, I left and stepped out into the rather busy hallway. As I walked down the hall, the people behind me starting dying with laughter. As I turned around, the people that had been in front of me started laughing as well.

I was very puzzled as to what was so funny unti one girl choking and laughing managed to stumble up to me and gasp out that I had tucked the back of my skirt into my pantyhose.

Oh my.

I hit the bathroom so fast I left a vapour trail. And after fixing the problem, I did not come out for a very, very long time.

T.

Did I mention I wasn’t wearing panties?

I’m due a a big black white and grey mess of seagul guano oozing down one side of my head, since it’ hasn’t happened yet.

There’s one up there with my name on it.

I love you.

I was on a medical leave from work, had minor shoulder surgery. Just before I was due to go back, I was feeling desperate to feel not like an invalid, you know?

Made a lunch date with a friend I hardly ever get to see because we live a ways apart, but hey I had nothing but time between therapy appointments. First time since the surgery I’d done my hair and makeup, wore this incredibly cute khaki skirt with a hand-embroidered hem and stylish top and great sandals. Drove to meet him near his office for lunch, had a great time, then decided to browse a nearby bookstore before heading home.

I’m feeling all cosmopolitan, not a care in the world as I browse about in my oh so cute outfit with my coffee in hand, found a few discounted books I’d been dying to read, just on top of the world.

I drive back home, stopping at my sister’s house to pick up the kid (arranged that he’d head there after school.) I walk in and she comments favorably on my outfit, I do a cute little twirl to show it off and she gets this horrified look on her face.

Immediately she’s up off the couch and hustling me into the bathroom telling me to take off the skirt so she can try and treat the stains, I’d started my period and had dinner-plate sized evidence of such all over the skirt I was feeling so pretty in. I had to guess with that much stainage, it had been a few hours, meaning my entire shopping experience and quite probably the lunch too. Ugh.

Oh, my goodness! I came here to post the same exact -

You win. If I wasn’t wearing panties, I’m sure I was at least wearing control top pantyhose with the dark top.

At a nice, middle-class, pretty posh house party, all Chianti and exotic food, and full of strangers. I was wearing my Nice Clothes. Off to the bathroom to empty out some Chianti, and washed my hands at their lovely, shallow handbasin.

No, I didn’t notice, for some reason (all that Chianti?). I circulated for quite a while until it dawned on me that a mini-tsunami from the handbasin had leapt out and said “hello” in a big way to the front of my trousers.
There was one time, in a remote pub in the Pennines, that I shat myself while standing on the bar. I hadn’t realised I had the runs. Made quick excuses, headed for the Gents, got my underpants off, washed myself as best I could in the toilet basin (couldn’t use the handbasins, they weren’t private), went outside the pub, threw the soiled underpants in a nearby bin, back to the Gents, washed my hands properly, returned to the bar and went commando for the rest of the evening. No-one seemed to notice, though …

Scene:

Kythereia stands on steps, talking to very cute, very funny, rather adorable guy. Kythereia is doing her level best to be flirtatious and charming, and in doing so, is perched on the nearby railing.

The nearby, very slippery railing.

Cue Kythereia sliding off in a flail of arms and landing in a puddle at the bottom. Adorable guy was very sweet about it, but I’m still red-faced even as I type this. :o

A group of us (4 guys, 2 gals) were at a football game a few years ago. There was this cute woman with her significant other in front of us. Well, she managed to tuck her shirt into her thong. That, coupled with low-rising jeans made us (the guys) point and giggle. The girls were discussing who was going to and how to discuss it with her in a proper manner. They ended up winning and the woman, who was a little tipsy (as was her dude) said in faux disgust: “You boys! Ugh! I bet you weren’t even watching the game! What color is the football?” I responded: “Um…pink and lacey?” Her dude said he saw it earlier, but he thought it was kinda funny and let it go. After that, she punched his shoulder and faigned more disgust. A good time was had by all.
Well, not her. Everyone else, though.

Awwwww. pinches her cheek You’re so adorable, I could eat you up with a spooooooooon!