Ground Swallow Me NOW!

I just had the most embarrasing day of most life ever please cheer me up post your most embarrasing moments PLEASE
:o :o :o

Dazed and Confused

Well, there was the time my dad drove up and got to my apartment several hours early - while I was at work - and found my boyfriend sleeping nude in my bed. Does that help?

I guess work I’ve done to hide them from my conscious memory has worked cause I can’t think of a single one.

Take heart! The day will be over soon and it’ll soon be a bad memory!

Well, one time I posted an inane question on a message board wondering why kamikaze pilots wear helmets.

You say neato, check your libido, and roll to the church in your new tuxedo.

Mul Ok so I posted A REALLY Stupid message but that was not anything to do with my embarrasing day.

Dazed and Confused

So what exactly did you do? Come on…you can tell us, we won’t laugh. Much. Where you can hear us.

OK - how’s this?

I had an important presentation to make to my academic committee, and was rushing around madly to get some viewgraphs made. Half-ran up the hallway to my office door & tried to make the turn into my office; my new leather-soled shoes slipped on the tile and I fell. Hard. On my face. When I stood up, my head was ringing and I could feel my lower lip ballooning - I’d split it from the impact with the floor.

With less than an hour and half to go before said presentation, on the verge of hysteria, I decided to run out to get some lipstick in an attempt to camouflage the damage. Drove frantically to the nearest CVS, grabbed a tube of lipstick that looked to be a reasonably modest shade, ran out to the car. The lipstick turned out to be a bright pink; you can imagine what this looked like on my lopsidedly swollen lip. Didn’t have any more cash for another lipstick, and was running out of time anyway. I sat for the last half hour before my meeting with a cold soda can to my lip, hoping the swelling would go down a little bit.

I got through the meeting, making sure that the lights were out while I showed the viewgraphs (so it was fairly dark in the room), and then sat biting my lower lip in a pensive manner as much as I could for the rest of the time.

Afterwards, I said something to my advisor about being happy to have only one disaster in the day. He then let me know that he had been in the hallway that morning when I fell, heard the BOOM! of my impact, and turned around to see my feet sticking out of the doorway of my office. Since he didn’t hear screaming and didn’t see blood, he figured he wouldn’t investigate further… I just about died when I heard that.

I’m not sure that I have the nerve to relate mine, but how 'bout one of my mom’s?<I miss you>
Back in WWII days, my mom was one of the first women pilots in the military, stationed at Offutt AFB <for those of you that don’t know, that’s in Omaha, Ne>. One day, when she had a very important meeting to be at, she overslept, was running late, and rushed around getting out the door. She noticed all the way to work on the bus that many people kept staring at her. She was too busy to really wonder at that much, though. When she got to work, several co-workers took one look at her, and started laughing their heads off. Not knowing what to think, she went to the ladie’s room to look in the mirror.
In her hurry to get out the door, she forgot one very important particle of clothing.

Her skirt! She got all the way to work in her blouse, hose,shoes and slip. I heard about this from all of her sisters, many times over the years. Hope it helps!

Life is teaching you some painful lessons. But it is from adversity that strength is born. You may have lost the inning, but I know you’ll win the game.

We used to have a student worker at the library named Jenny, who was a terribly nice girl. One day she was checking out academic reserves for Dr. Berbrier’s class to a couple of black students, and the the name Berbrier reminder her of Brair Bear, from the Disney Movie Song of the South. She turned to me and said, “I wonder if anybody asks about the tar babies in Berbrier’s class.”

Near as I could tell, the black students who were still standing at the desk hadn’t heard what she said, or hadn’t known the significance of it, but at the first opportunity I took Jenny aside and explained it to her. She had no idea that the Uncle Remus stories were racially charged revenge narratives, or that `tar babies’ was an insulting term for blacks.

It happens to us all. You are sitting around with your neighbors discussing ceiling fans. Not the fun stuff you imagined when you were 10 and wanted to stay up to midnight.

We were discussing the cost of ceiling fans and how some are priced over $500 per. I say, " Who in the hell would be so stupid as to pay over $500 for a ceiling fan."

My neighbor and his wife grimace and say,
" Umm, we did."

I think my next words were like, " Pardon me, I have shoe breath…"

I used to milk a cow in the morning before I went to school. In the 5th grade I went out to milk the cow in my parka, with just a t-shirt underneath, intending to put my shirt on later. I forgot. Until I got to school and went to take my parka off. I wore my parka all day. I’m one of those people who never forgets emarassing moments, I could go on all day.

No matter what happened, this will take the cake.

My close friend was at dinner at her boyfriends parents house- first time she ever met them. She excuses herself to the bathroom, and takes an a dump. You guessed it- broken toilet. Won’t flush. No way.


She had to go out, tell them what happened, and they all went to Wal-Mart to buy a plunger. Would you die???

“If I had to live your life, I’d be begging to have someone pop out both my eyes. Just in case I came across a mirror.” - android209 (in the Pit)

“it’s all real”
“I KNEW IT!!!”
O p a l C a t

Frolix: I’m confused… why is wearing a t-shirt embarrassing?

“it’s all real”
“I KNEW IT!!!”
O p a l C a t

I can top that. I left the ladies room one day with my skirt caught in the back of my pantyhose with my whole butt shining. Needless to say that’s the day an entire group of 6th graders were touring our facilities. Guess what their best memory was?

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

Then there was the time that Zette was trying to tell this joke in the chatroom and… ::ducking::

OK, here’s mine. I’m like 10 years old, camping with my family and some friends and we meet this girl who I TOTALLY get a crush on. I’m hanging on this girl, thinking about what our children’s names are going to be, etc… So, we’re all sitting around the campfire telling jokes and I’m really into it. One joke gets me laughing so hard I fall backwards in my chair and land flat on my back. Now that wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t simultaneously let out possibly the loudest, AHEM, flatulent outburst of all time. Needless to say I ran away and tried to hide from everyone. I still curse god for that one…

“Don’t bother to pack your bags, Or your map.
We won’t need them where we’re goin’,
We’re goin’ where the wind is blowin’.”

I guess I’m getting old. A t-shirt is underwear, it would have been equivalent to going to school in boxer shorts without pants. No on would go to school with just a t-shirt on, the teacher would probably send you home. It was a different time and place, but the embaressment of being dressed inappropriately is universal.

Opal, along the lines of what you said…When I was in eighth grade, and clinically depressed, which is a state of mind that allows things like this to happen, as some regs can attest, I was in drafting class, and the teacher (male) discreetly asked me if I wanted to go wash my hands. I looked down and saw menstrual blood grimed into my index finger, thumb and webbing. I didn’t mind the teacher seeing that, since he was one of the few people who knew and understood my situation, but drafting wasn’t my first class of the day. If anyone noticed, they never said anything to me, but I often wondered…

Rilchiam, who turns 30 on Thursday the 2nd of March. Tick…tick…tick…

I was out on a boat with my boyfriend at his parents’ camp. He dared me to sunbathe topless, so I took off my top. On the way back we hit some big waves and somehow my bathing suit top got washed overboard.
We pulled up to the dock and wouldn’t you know it (of course) - there were his parents coming down to meet us, and I’m sitting there half naked. I was only 15 and I could gladly have jumped overboard and drowned. His father handed me , of all things, an American flag that he had brought out to run up the flagpole, and I covered up with that while his mom (who did NOT look amused) went into the cabin to get me a T-shirt.

try this:

But where were the Spiders?