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Old 03-13-2013, 12:30 PM
XT XT is offline
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In modern day America, we all live on the streets and eat coffee made from snow!

I just wanted to share this accurate and heart rending video by the brave people of North Korea showing the plight of the American people, who are so poor they live in tents, have eaten all the birds (according to the video, the last birds will be eaten on Tuesday...which is good to know, since I thought it was going to be on Thursday and would have missed out! ), and have to drink coffee handed out from the government that's made of snow (I thought it was actually artificial snow and Birch bark, but obviously I've been tricked by US government propaganda), while we all live in tents with holes in them. The only good thing is that everyone in the US thinks that coffee made of snow is 'yummy', so there is a silver lining at least.

Anyway, I know you all really want to see the truth (though how you will see it when none of us have computers, and only sit around under advertisements for expensive 'computers' made by Dell is a bit of a mystery), so here it is...enjoy. And give some thought to the horrible plight of the majority of US citizens who have to live in such conditions. Perhaps some of our European 'dopers (or any North Korean 'dopers, better yet, as they would be the best able to help) could put together some care baskets for all of us poor, homeless, snow coffee drinking 'dopers to help a brother or sister out??

ETA: And yes, I meant 'eat coffee made of snow', since that's what they said. I think the soup is also made of snow as well that we get as handouts from our government (that and bird, when we still had birds in our trees), so perhaps 'eat' goes with that instead of the coffee...
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Last edited by XT; 03-13-2013 at 12:32 PM.
  #2  
Old 03-13-2013, 12:51 PM
muldoonthief muldoonthief is offline
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"This man awaits heroin." Priceless. It's got to be fake, but it's hilarious.
  #3  
Old 03-13-2013, 12:51 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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I can't wait until summer. I really need to cut down on caffeine!

Now excuse me while I go eat one of the last birds. On white bread. With mayo made of rain.
  #4  
Old 03-13-2013, 12:53 PM
RealityChuck RealityChuck is offline
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While you're drinking your coffee made of snow

Watch the truth about how American live today.

And you thought the birds just flew south for the winter...
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  #5  
Old 03-13-2013, 12:54 PM
XT XT is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muldoonthief View Post
"This man awaits heroin." Priceless. It's got to be fake, but it's hilarious.
Yeah, I agree....if for no other reason than who in North Korea who would actually believe that sort of crap COULD watch the thing? If they have the means to watch an internet video then they wouldn't believe it, and if they would believe something so ridiculous then they wouldn't have the means. It was pretty funny though.

That said, the nuke American dream sequence thingy WAS, afaik, an official NK video, so you never know.
  #6  
Old 03-13-2013, 12:56 PM
Sicks Ate Sicks Ate is offline
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In Modern Day America, birds eat YOU!
  #7  
Old 03-13-2013, 01:21 PM
Duke of Rat Duke of Rat is offline
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In Modern Day America, birds eat YOU!
On Tuesday.
  #8  
Old 03-13-2013, 01:38 PM
Hypno-Toad Hypno-Toad is offline
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Totally fake. Avery Jessup wasn't in it.
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  #9  
Old 03-13-2013, 01:51 PM
TriPolar TriPolar is offline
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Did anybody pick up on the former Republican candidate? The video isn't that good, was it Mitt?

Anyway, many of the things in the video are accurate outside of the fact that they are exceptions as opposed to being common. But what's the point? Except for an elite minority in NK it's still better conditions than they have.
  #10  
Old 03-13-2013, 02:00 PM
Oakminster Oakminster is offline
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Would North Korea actually refer to itself as "North Korea", rather than "The Democratic People's Republic of Korea"?
  #11  
Old 03-13-2013, 02:12 PM
bup bup is offline
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What they don't tell you is that coffee made of snow is just the latest foodie craze. We can't stand coffee made from coffee beans and water anymore; that's used in our toilets.
  #12  
Old 03-13-2013, 02:32 PM
Ellen Cherry Ellen Cherry is offline
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Merged two threads on the topic.
  #13  
Old 03-13-2013, 03:32 PM
J-P L J-P L is offline
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Are the North Korean people really falling for that kind of propaganda, are they kept that much in the dark by their government that they would not know any better?
  #14  
Old 03-13-2013, 04:35 PM
Enkel Enkel is offline
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All this gloom and doom and government handouts... you sure this isn't the latest GOP propaganda?

We just had a pretty strong downfall of snow here, so I'm rushing outside to get me some fresh coffee! And if that rooster stalks me and gives me the evil eye again, I might just be having me some of that bird everyone's been talking about.
  #15  
Old 03-13-2013, 04:45 PM
Desert Nomad Desert Nomad is offline
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I have been to the DPRK and if this is fake, it is a very good one. Reality does not apply in the DPRK. We visited the tomb of Kim Il Sung and were told that the sparkles in the granite floor were "the tears of all the world's people as they wept for the fallen Leader... preserved in stone for all eternity.".... and of course the world came to a standstill.

Last edited by Desert Nomad; 03-13-2013 at 04:47 PM.
  #16  
Old 03-13-2013, 04:46 PM
XT XT is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J-P L View Post
Are the North Korean people really falling for that kind of propaganda, are they kept that much in the dark by their government that they would not know any better?
The answer is that they ARE kept in the dark (both literally and figuratively...I'm on the road, but do a google search on NASA photos of all of Korea from space at night the night sky, and compare and contrast the North to the South to get an idea of how bad it is), and that they would fall for this (hell, this would be minor compared to some of the whoppers that their government tells them), but that it's probably a fake or parody. For one thing, as I said earlier, not very many people in North Korea would even have the ability to watch a video like this...which says a lot about how great things are there...so it would be wasted effort for the NK government do bother with it. There would be no point outside of local NK public consumption, and they couldn't consume it.

Last edited by XT; 03-13-2013 at 04:47 PM.
  #17  
Old 03-13-2013, 06:11 PM
jlzania jlzania is offline
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Whenever the subject of N. Korea comes up, I feel compelled to link to Hitchens article on his visit there. According to Mr. Hitchens, the average N. Korean is 6 inches shorter than his S. Korean counterpart.http://www.slate.com/articles/news_a...st_dwarfs.html
  #18  
Old 03-13-2013, 06:51 PM
Broomstick Broomstick is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XT View Post
The answer is that they ARE kept in the dark (both literally and figuratively...I'm on the road, but do a google search on NASA photos of all of Korea from space at night the night sky, and compare and contrast the North to the South to get an idea of how bad it is),
There are actually a lot of such pictures. Here are some.

Quote:
For one thing, as I said earlier, not very many people in North Korea would even have the ability to watch a video like this...which says a lot about how great things are there...so it would be wasted effort for the NK government do bother with it. There would be no point outside of local NK public consumption, and they couldn't consume it.
North Koreans do have access to television and since all broadcasts are controlled by the government there is no reason the DPRK can't broadcast on TV the videos they choose to post on the internet.

In a related note, the DPRK also posts on-line their official party newspaper in English, presumably for the benefit of those outside their Juche Paradise. I've also noticed it's not always available, maybe they turn it off at night with the lights?
  #19  
Old 03-13-2013, 09:50 PM
wolfman wolfman is offline
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I can't tell you how much it pisses me off every time I see my tax dollars wasted on Guvment snow coffee trucks for the poor and homosexual I'm so mad I'm gonna go shoot some children.

Last edited by wolfman; 03-13-2013 at 09:51 PM.
  #20  
Old 03-13-2013, 09:59 PM
Miller Miller is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakminster View Post
Would North Korea actually refer to itself as "North Korea", rather than "The Democratic People's Republic of Korea"?
Probably not, but whoever translated it into English might have changed it so it was clear to the rest of us which Korea supposedly released this video.
  #21  
Old 03-14-2013, 03:04 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
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On Tuesday.
I thought Tuesday was Soylent Green day.
  #22  
Old 03-14-2013, 03:14 AM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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Originally Posted by wolfman View Post
I can't tell you how much it pisses me off every time I see my tax dollars wasted on Guvment snow coffee trucks for the poor and homosexual I'm so mad I'm gonna go shoot some children.
Dude, calm down and have some heroin.
  #23  
Old 03-14-2013, 03:18 AM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XT View Post
Yeah, I agree....if for no other reason than who in North Korea who would actually believe that sort of crap COULD watch the thing?
And if they did see it, the probably response would be "Wait a second, people in America have tents and corridors to live in?"
  #24  
Old 03-14-2013, 04:13 AM
aceplace57 aceplace57 is online now
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I find it hard to believe the propaganda people in N. Korea could possibly be that uninformed. CNN is seen world wide by satellite. There's internet access and 24 hour news. That should be available to the privileged party members. That sort of information would be work related to people crafting propaganda for the government.

I know much of N Korea is pretty much without technology. I've seen that famous map showing that area in darkness and South Korea all lit up. But, the top level party members should still have a few perks.

Last edited by aceplace57; 03-14-2013 at 04:15 AM.
  #25  
Old 03-14-2013, 05:02 AM
Princhester Princhester is offline
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You North Americans don't know how good you have it. Here in the sub-tropics we have no snow. We have to just imagine what coffee would be like, and then attempt to feel perked up based on the fantasy.
  #26  
Old 03-14-2013, 05:17 AM
simple homer simple homer is offline
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Originally Posted by aceplace57 View Post
I find it hard to believe the propaganda people in N. Korea could possibly be that uninformed. CNN is seen world wide by satellite. There's internet access and 24 hour news. That should be available to the privileged party members. That sort of information would be work related to people crafting propaganda for the government.

I know much of N Korea is pretty much without technology. I've seen that famous map showing that area in darkness and South Korea all lit up. But, the top level party members should still have a few perks.
Privileged party members might know the truth about the rest of the world, but why would they want to do anything that would cause them to lose the money and power that they currently hold ?

The propaganda people probably benefit from keeping the lie going.
  #27  
Old 03-14-2013, 06:52 AM
Giles Giles is online now
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Originally Posted by Princhester View Post
You North Americans don't know how good you have it. Here in the sub-tropics we have no snow. We have to just imagine what coffee would be like, and then attempt to feel perked up based on the fantasy.
But at least the Australian government hands out free heroin to the people dying in the streets for the want of coffee made from snow, so we can die hungry but happy.
  #28  
Old 03-14-2013, 07:29 AM
IvoryTowerDenizen IvoryTowerDenizen is offline
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Thank goodness the NK provided cloth to the Red Cross for tents, real coffee, blankets and cake!

Last edited by IvoryTowerDenizen; 03-14-2013 at 07:29 AM.
  #29  
Old 03-14-2013, 07:54 AM
kferr kferr is offline
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The cake is a lie.
  #30  
Old 03-14-2013, 08:14 AM
Princhester Princhester is offline
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But at least the Australian government hands out free heroin to the people dying in the streets for the want of coffee made from snow, so we can die hungry but happy.
You New South Welshman get all the perks. When we bananabenders are dying in the streets and need a buzz the government just gives a piece of paper called "how to catch a canetoad".
  #31  
Old 03-14-2013, 08:15 AM
Giles Giles is online now
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Of course, we've already eaten all our canetoads.
  #32  
Old 03-14-2013, 08:22 AM
Dendarii Dame Dendarii Dame is offline
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I've heard of "special snowflakes", but...

Last edited by Dendarii Dame; 03-14-2013 at 08:23 AM.
  #33  
Old 03-14-2013, 08:53 AM
ElvisL1ves ElvisL1ves is offline
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But WTF was with the shot of the Gare du Nord entrance and the comment about the government disguising the US as a foreign country?
  #34  
Old 03-14-2013, 09:08 AM
Tom Tildrum Tom Tildrum is offline
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Yahoo now has an update saying that the guy who gave it to them admitted faking the translation, but he still says the video is legit.
  #35  
Old 03-14-2013, 09:31 AM
ElvisL1ves ElvisL1ves is offline
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So I'm not even getting my bird, snow coffee, and government heroin?
  #36  
Old 03-14-2013, 09:34 AM
muldoonthief muldoonthief is offline
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So I'm not even getting my bird, snow coffee, and government heroin?
Nobody gets the government heroin. You just wait for it.
  #37  
Old 03-14-2013, 09:58 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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Originally Posted by Princhester View Post
You North Americans don't know how good you have it. Here in the sub-tropics we have no snow. We have to just imagine what coffee would be like, and then attempt to feel perked up based on the fantasy.
Oh please. You're Australian. If we gave you coffee, it would just pour out of your cup, because everything in your country is upside-down.
  #38  
Old 03-14-2013, 10:06 AM
gracer gracer is offline
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Surely we have some Dopers who speak Korean?

(I once had a Korean-speaker do subtitles for a film with me. I remember the first sentence sounded like "tsing-gaa tuhkka tsing-gaa" and I think it was meant to be something about a respected scientist... that's the full extent of my Korean.)
  #39  
Old 03-14-2013, 10:31 AM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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I once had a Korean-speaker do subtitles for a film with me. I remember the first sentence sounded like "tsing-gaa tuhkka tsing-gaa"
Turns out you were asking them to translate an episode of The Goon Show.
  #40  
Old 03-14-2013, 10:40 AM
newcomer newcomer is offline
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It would have been easier if they've shown post-Katrina storm footage.

But then, nobody in NK would believe it :d
  #41  
Old 03-14-2013, 10:59 AM
steviep24 steviep24 is offline
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Now I know what Starbucks Frappucinos and Tim Hortons Ice Caps are made of.
  #42  
Old 03-14-2013, 12:34 PM
Duke of Rat Duke of Rat is offline
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Of course, we've already eaten all our canetoads.
Cane Toad Thursdays?
  #43  
Old 03-14-2013, 12:46 PM
Hypno-Toad Hypno-Toad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Princhester View Post
You North Americans don't know how good you have it. Here in the sub-tropics we have no snow. We have to just imagine what coffee would be like, and then attempt to feel perked up based on the fantasy.
You haven't been getting your ration of Sand-Coffee, then? No big loss. It's decaf.
  #44  
Old 03-14-2013, 01:09 PM
Punoqllads Punoqllads is offline
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Surely we have some Dopers who speak Korean
I don't speak Korean, but this person does.

Basically, the video is really North Korean in origin but the translation is completely wrong. The real translation is down near the bottom of the page.
  #45  
Old 03-16-2013, 07:46 PM
Northern Piper Northern Piper is offline
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Originally Posted by XT
In modern day America, we all live on the streets and eat coffee made from snow!
And with global warming, what are you going to do when domestic US snow sources evaporate?

Soon, you will have to import it - and from where?

Ha! We in Canada will own you, you snow-coffee-swilling yankees!


  #46  
Old 03-18-2013, 05:12 PM
swampspruce swampspruce is offline
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You know, since there are no more birds all those KFCs are just sitting there empty and forlorn. Screw this, I'm packing up my tent and moving in there. At least I can lick the deep fryer....
  #47  
Old 03-20-2013, 05:28 PM
Boulter's Canary Boulter's Canary is offline
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Originally Posted by tdn View Post
I can't wait until summer. I really need to cut down on caffeine!

Now excuse me while I go eat one of the last birds. On white bread. With mayo made of rain.

You have white bread in the States? Luxury! Bloody luxury! Here in the UK we only have black bread. made from coal.
  #48  
Old 03-20-2013, 05:47 PM
Shodan Shodan is offline
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A bird! Grab him!

I'll get some frost for the stuffing!

Regards,
Shodan
  #49  
Old 03-20-2013, 09:13 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is offline
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Originally Posted by Boulter's Canary View Post
You have white bread in the States? Luxury! Bloody luxury! Here in the UK we only have black bread. made from coal.
You have coal? Here in Canada we sit around fires of fake coal made from snow. Or at least we used to, because the Ministry of Prosperity just announced that we will be shipping our surplus snow south to aid the oppressed people of the United States.
  #50  
Old 03-21-2013, 09:16 AM
XT XT is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern Piper
And with global warming, what are you going to do when domestic US snow sources evaporate?
Well, apparently we still have cheap and plentiful sources for heroin, so I guess there is that.

Quote:
Soon, you will have to import it - and from where?

Ha! We in Canada will own you, you snow-coffee-swilling yankees!
I always knew you sneaky bastards to the north would have us over a barrel (of snow) some day!!
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