There will be plenty of time for him to move clear of the bus. Unfortunately though, an onlooker will spot the danger and call out in a friendly tone “get out of the way of the bus!”.
My son will die standing defiantly with tears streaming down his face at the unmitigated cruelty of a world that placed him in the impossible dilemma of having to choose between saving his own life and knuckling down under the oppressors trying to tell him what to do.
Have you considered forbidding him from doing something which will hurt him a little, knowing he will make a point of doing it and then get hurt and hopefully learn from that? I get the impression that some anti-authority types got that way because their early silly childish rebellions against authority were handled badly by just piling on more authority which lead to an escalation.
Sometimes, one of the best things you can do for your kid is let them get hurt a little and learn from that. When I was 7, I asked my father for a cigarette. He said I could have one but I’d have to smoke the whole thing. I nearly threw up that time but I’ve lived more years than I have smoked cigarettes and pot was too harsh for my throat.
It will have to be soon or he won’t be your six year old son.
This can backfire though. A teacher tried this with my niece once. My niece was always acting up in class so the teacher said that “Okay, if you want to be the center of attention, why don’t you come up front and teach the class.”
Bad move. My niece thought this was great. She loved having the spotlight on her. She was happy to go up front and take over the class. After five minutes or so, the teacher realized this had been a mistake and told her to sit back down.
Hate to say this, but if Darwin is right, this outcome may be better for the human race. Or not.
It’s not that simple. The protectiveness of parents is a product of evolution itself. And evolution isn’t about what’s better for the human race, it’s about what is better for the the propagation of successful genes.
It really isn’t a matter of forbidding, and he gets hurt by his attitude all the time.
For example, the problem that gave rise to this thread was a situation in which he wanted to finish a game he’d been playing on the Wii and I told him that was fine and there’d be plenty of time to do so before school as long as he finished his breakfast reasonably quickly.
The problem is that I pointed out to him that if he daydreamed and chatted for several minutes at a time between each mouthful (as he was doing), he wasn’t going to have time to play on the Wii before school, and that this would cause him to be very upset. I specifically said I wasn’t forbidding anything and didn’t mind either way. But something in my tone was enough for him form the view that I was ordering him to eat quickly. So then it was “STOP BOSSING ME AROUND!”. Followed shortly thereafter by wails about not having time to finish his game on the Wii.
Shrug.
He may well be joined by my 10 year old who, when faced with something requiring effort, will say “meh, didn’t want that anyway”. If getting off the couch is too much effort, so, too, may be moving out of the path of a bus.
Light a candle and tell him, in fact ORDER him not to hold his hand over the flame.
See how strong that stubborn streak really is.
Totally frustrating; I can empathize with you, going through similar struggles with my 4-year-old.
At the same time, I remember being a defiant kid who hated hated hated being told what to do.
All you can do is to help him frame his choices clearly–pleasure now (talking) or pleasure later (Wii game)–and to help him see clear consequences of his choices. And it sounds like you’re doing that, so the rest is just the suffering of parenthood :).
<Bill Cosby>Children have…BRAIN DAMAGE!</Bill Cosby>
“STOP BOSSING ME AROUND!”
Why does he think he can say this to you without repercussions?
You lost the battle years ago.
Why are you micromanaging his life like this? You really are bossing/nagging him around. Try this next time.
“son in ten minutes you’re out the door, period.”
And stick to it, breakfast finished or Wii game finished or not. This gives HIM the chance to learn to manage his time, and decide what is important to him while still laying down a solid and reliable boundary which he craves,
Explaining to a six year old that if he goes slowly he won’t have time to do something else is micromanaging and bossing/nagging now? On which planet?
The functional difference between this and “you will have time to play on the Wii only if you finish your breakfast quickly” is what?
And I said he got extra time or that I failed to stick to anything where precisely in my post? Which particular part of him being told he would only have time to play on the Wii if he ate his breakfast quickly are you not seeing as a clear boundary?
Do you trot out the same boilerplate in every parenting thread without actually bothering to see if it fits? Did someone fail to micromanage your ability to read?
I feel for you, Princhester. My son’s the same way. The only way to deal with it is to understand that sometimes you have to be the Big Bad Scary Dad, grab him by the forearm and shout, “I AM YOUR FATHER AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I SAY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?” And don’t be afraid of the occasional tears.
Though in this instance, I wasn’t trying to get him to do anything. Well, except help himself by not getting himself into a situation where he ran out of time and got upset. And I guess I would feel I was being overly bossy and micromanaging if I ordered him to eat breakfast fast so that he could have some play time.
I think it’s a poor choice to let him play before school anyways. Just when he’s getting to the good part, he had to quit and go to school. He should be focused on his upcoming day, and maybe even interacting with you.
As far as the yelling boss of me? He’s six. Not allowed. Period. How are you going to deal with him when he if fifteen?
I am the boss of you.
No wii for the rest of the week, before or after school.
Keep up the backtalk,more privileges will be taken away.
Then follow through.
Be the parent. Allow the kid to be the kid.
Whip. Chair. Cattle prod. Water cannon. Taser.
I am in total agreement, he’s only 6, easy to break that wii habit before school now. But a week’s suspension might be a tad long for Dad to go w/o. 
I know I would cave before a week was up.
FWIW, the ability to play Plants vs Zombies after finishing their morning tasks has been a great tool for getting the Small Folks motivated to zoom through everything quickly. It has really clicked for the Smaller Girl (now seven) this year. The Small Boy, just now finishing his first term of school, is taking somewhat longer to catch on.
So by my count, you have about a year of this to go. And ALL through that year you will have a bunch of people on your case telling you you’re too harsh/too slack/too micromanaging…blah blah etc etc…snore…