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  #1  
Old 04-09-2013, 09:17 AM
Heart of Dorkness Heart of Dorkness is offline
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Soleless Atheists vs. the USPS

Atheist, a German shoe company, was getting complaints from some of their U.S. customers about lengthy delivery times. So they did a little experiment...
Quote:
Originally Posted by NPR
For each recipient, one package featured the Atheist-branded packing tape and one used generic packing tape. All packages were shipped the same day. Yet the Atheist-branded packages took an average of three days longer to reach their destinations. And while only one package from the generic-tape set went missing, nine of the Atheist-branded packages went missing. These (statistically significant) results were recently released on their website.
This is why atheists have no soles. The post office is stealing them!
  #2  
Old 04-09-2013, 09:35 AM
StusBlues StusBlues is offline
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That's...not good. Not surprising, unfortunately.

I'm sure someone will be along shortly to defend the USPS and point out the obvious flaws in this pilot study.
  #3  
Old 04-09-2013, 09:43 AM
Heart of Dorkness Heart of Dorkness is offline
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Oh, damn. I meant to include the link to the NPR story, in which the author does indeed point out the obvious flaws (or at least, the fact that there are obvious flaws). She applauds it as a great example of "citizen science", but also expresses concern about "pre-publication science gone wild". And she notes:
Quote:
Originally Posted by NPR
To their credit, the folks at Atheist have teamed up with an (unnamed) university professor and plan to pursue their research with the aim of publishing in a peer-reviewed journal.
A lot of interesting things to consider there.
  #4  
Old 04-09-2013, 10:03 AM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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It makes you wonder what would happen to packages labeled Agnostic.
  #5  
Old 04-09-2013, 10:12 AM
Snowboarder Bo Snowboarder Bo is offline
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While the disparity in delivery times is troubling, I couldn't help but wonder about what their shoes were like, so I went and took a look at their product line and I gotta say: those are the shittiest looking and seemingly cheap to make shoes that I think I've ever seen selling for US$170.

I mean, seriously, I'm an atheist and I'd never support this company because their product looks like overpriced shite.
  #6  
Old 04-09-2013, 10:18 AM
Tollhouse Tollhouse is offline
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Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
It makes you wonder what would happen to packages labeled Agnostic.
. Most likely an obscure warehouse somewhere with no defined purpose
  #7  
Old 04-09-2013, 10:20 AM
Sicks Ate Sicks Ate is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
It makes you wonder what would happen to packages labeled Agnostic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tollhouse View Post
. Most likely an obscure warehouse somewhere with no defined purpose
They really want to be delivered, but they're afraid of what people will think so they never actually arrive.
  #8  
Old 04-09-2013, 11:00 AM
Colophon Colophon is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
It makes you wonder what would happen to packages labeled Agnostic.
Nobody knows. Nor can they.
  #9  
Old 04-09-2013, 11:02 AM
Heart of Dorkness Heart of Dorkness is offline
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Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo View Post
I gotta say: those are the shittiest looking and seemingly cheap to make shoes that I think I've ever seen selling for US$170.
You really think so? I agree they're expensive, but they don't look badly made to me, and I think they're pretty cool. And I'll admit, I want a pair in "Kitten Testicle Grey", just so I can mention the name of the color whenever possible.
  #10  
Old 04-09-2013, 11:14 AM
zoid zoid is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
It makes you wonder what would happen to packages labeled Agnostic.
Maybe the package gets delivered, maybe it doesn't, no one can say.
  #11  
Old 04-09-2013, 11:37 AM
tdn tdn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo View Post
I mean, seriously, I'm an atheist and I'd never support this company because their product looks like overpriced shite.
I know. And I was so looking forward to wearing a pair of Candy Testicles.
  #12  
Old 04-09-2013, 11:47 AM
digs digs is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo View Post
I mean, seriously, I'm an atheist...
So... you believe that when you die you'll get thrown down a quarry?

Now it all makes sense.


As does your "cheap shoes" comment. Even though I'd love to tell people I'm wearing a "KITTEN TESTICLE GREY" shoe, it looks like something thrown together... for €129.
  #13  
Old 04-09-2013, 11:50 AM
Aizle Aizle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heart of Dorkness View Post
You really think so? I agree they're expensive, but they don't look badly made to me, and I think they're pretty cool. And I'll admit, I want a pair in "Kitten Testicle Grey", just so I can mention the name of the color whenever possible.
They look pretty well made to me. Stitching is very tight and the style is unique. Really the only downside for me is that they are all appear suede which means I'll destroy them in minutes.
  #14  
Old 04-09-2013, 12:10 PM
Malacandra Malacandra is offline
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Soleless atheists?


Shoo!
  #15  
Old 04-09-2013, 12:21 PM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo View Post
While the disparity in delivery times is troubling, I couldn't help but wonder about what their shoes were like, so I went and took a look at their product line and I gotta say: those are the shittiest looking and seemingly cheap to make shoes that I think I've ever seen selling for US$170.

I mean, seriously, I'm an atheist and I'd never support this company because their product looks like overpriced shite.
They're shoes that make you say "There is no God!"
  #16  
Old 04-09-2013, 12:34 PM
digs digs is offline
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Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
They're shoes that make you say "There is no God!"
You sort of do... they have "Ich Bin Atheist" debossed into the bottom of the sole, so you'll leave that message in the sand (unless Jesus is carrying you...).
  #17  
Old 04-09-2013, 12:49 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by digs View Post
You sort of do... they have "Ich Bin Atheist" debossed into the bottom of the sole, so you'll leave that message in the sand (unless Jesus is carrying you...).
Or Darwin Love.
  #18  
Old 04-09-2013, 02:53 PM
hotflungwok hotflungwok is offline
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Kitten Testicle Grey?
Naughty Schnitzel Pilz?
Nabokov Cream?

What
the
hell

Are we sure this isn't a joke?
  #19  
Old 04-09-2013, 02:56 PM
Leaper Leaper is offline
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I didn't know the USPS had time to do "godless heathen" sorting.
  #20  
Old 04-09-2013, 03:03 PM
Marley23 Marley23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotflungwok View Post
Are we sure this isn't a joke?
The names are supposed to be funny, yes.
  #21  
Old 04-09-2013, 03:07 PM
Ferret Herder Ferret Herder is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by digs View Post
You sort of do... they have "Ich Bin Atheist" debossed into the bottom of the sole, so you'll leave that message in the sand (unless Jesus is carrying you...).
That'll solve that debate, at least.
  #22  
Old 04-09-2013, 03:27 PM
eschereal eschereal is offline
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I could only put those on if I was meeting Walter, Donny and the Dude at the Hollywood Star Lanes.
  #23  
Old 04-09-2013, 04:03 PM
zoid zoid is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotflungwok View Post
Nabokov Cream?
Someone wanna throw me a bone? I don't get this one.
  #24  
Old 04-09-2013, 04:14 PM
Hershele Ostropoler Hershele Ostropoler is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leaper View Post
I didn't know the USPS had time to do "godless heathen" sorting.
One hears occasionally of carriers refusing to deliver porn, or left-wing rags like Time, or TV Guide when you can see that the person on the cover has breasts, or things like that.
  #25  
Old 04-09-2013, 04:22 PM
Fear Itself Fear Itself is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoid View Post
Someone wanna throw me a bone? I don't get this one.
Nabokov wrote Lolita, a novel about a man who becomes sexually involved with a 12 year old girl.
  #26  
Old 04-09-2013, 04:56 PM
zoid zoid is online now
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Originally Posted by Fear Itself View Post
Nabokov wrote Lolita, a novel about a man who becomes sexually involved with a 12 year old girl.
Ah, thank you.

And - ewww!
  #27  
Old 04-09-2013, 07:22 PM
Snowboarder Bo Snowboarder Bo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heart of Dorkness View Post
You really think so? I agree they're expensive, but they don't look badly made to me, and I think they're pretty cool.
Quote:
Originally Posted by digs View Post
As does your "cheap shoes" comment. Even though I'd love to tell people I'm wearing a "KITTEN TESTICLE GREY" shoe, it looks like something thrown together... for €129.
I didn't call them "cheap shoes" nor did I say they looked poorly constructed.

I said they look cheap to make: they all have the same thin rubber sole made from the same last and the same patterned upper which is 3 or 4 cuts of what looks like suede. There aren't even eyelets for the laces, just holes punched in the fabric. Profit margin must be huge per pair.
  #28  
Old 04-09-2013, 08:17 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is offline
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They need a proper set of controls to cover the possibility space.

One group of packages goes out with unmarked packing tape. One with "Atheist" tape. One with "In God We Trust" tape. One with "Jesus loves you!" tape. One with "The Mighty Thor" tape. One with "Blessed be" tape...

Although I might be a little careful with the "Iä! Iä! Cthulhu Fhtagn!" tape...

Last edited by Sunspace; 04-09-2013 at 08:17 PM.
  #29  
Old 04-09-2013, 08:35 PM
Polycarp Polycarp is offline
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The control element for this experiment would be, of course, to ship some Watterson books in a shoe box with tape labelled 'Calvinist'.
  #30  
Old 04-10-2013, 12:12 PM
hotflungwok hotflungwok is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoid View Post
Ah, thank you.

And - ewww!
Egg zack lee

Why exactly would they use names like this?

"Oh wow, those shoes are great! Where did you get them?"
"At this web site here."
"I want some in that color, what is it?"
"Um, kitten testicle grey."
"..." 0_o
  #31  
Old 04-10-2013, 12:16 PM
Czarcasm Czarcasm is offline
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Come on-Can you think of anything more soft and tender than kitten testicles?
  #32  
Old 04-10-2013, 01:55 PM
hotflungwok hotflungwok is offline
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Originally Posted by Czarcasm View Post
Come on-Can you think of anything more soft and tender than kitten testicles?
How exactly do you know what kitten testicles feel like?

The back of a kitten's ear is the softest thing I can think of.
  #33  
Old 04-10-2013, 02:47 PM
Sicks Ate Sicks Ate is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotflungwok View Post
How exactly do you know what kitten testicles feel like?

The back of a kitten's ear is the softest thing I can think of.
Then your mission is to hunt down some kittyballs. After that, the back of the ear will be the second softest thing you can think of.

Last edited by Sicks Ate; 04-10-2013 at 02:48 PM.
  #34  
Old 04-10-2013, 03:10 PM
eschereal eschereal is offline
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Then your mission is to hunt down some kittyballs. After that, the back of the ear will be the second softest thing you can think of.
I would think that kitten's balls would be soft in a mushy sort of way that would be less than pleasant to walk on/in.
  #35  
Old 04-10-2013, 03:25 PM
Alan Smithee Alan Smithee is offline
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I think those shoes look great! Yes, it's basically one style, but they are a small start-up company, and they look well made. I could easily imagine Nike or Adidas has much higher markups just based on economies of scale. I'd buy some, but I'm broke and I don't have the wardrobe to go with them.
  #36  
Old 04-10-2013, 03:42 PM
swampspruce swampspruce is offline
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Not being a biologist, but is it still a kitten if it's testes have dropped or are cats different than other mammals? Technically, it would be Tom Scrotum Grey,wouldn't it?

Now if someone can direct me where I might purchase some Lovecraftian packing tape, my day will be compleat!

Last edited by swampspruce; 04-10-2013 at 03:43 PM. Reason: Add-on
  #37  
Old 04-10-2013, 04:08 PM
hotflungwok hotflungwok is offline
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Then your mission is to hunt down some kittyballs. After that, the back of the ear will be the second softest thing you can think of.
I think I'm going to pass. My cats are both tutored, and I don't want to get banned from the humane society I volunteer at for molesting kittens. 'I just wanted to see how soft there were, really!'
  #38  
Old 04-10-2013, 04:12 PM
Doug K. Doug K. is offline
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I think I'm going to pass. My cats are both tutored,
I've always thought public schools were good enough for cats.
  #39  
Old 04-10-2013, 04:57 PM
tdn tdn is offline
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I think I'm going to pass. My cats are both tutored, and I don't want to get banned from the humane society I volunteer at for molesting kittens. 'I just wanted to see how soft there were, really!'
"Excuse me, I'm trying to see if I'd like a new pair of shoes!"
  #40  
Old 04-10-2013, 05:47 PM
hotflungwok hotflungwok is offline
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"Excuse me, I'm trying to see if I'd like a new pair of shoes!"
"Hey, cmere for a second. Yeah you. Touch my shoes. Go ahead touch them. Soft right? Now here, touch my cat's balls. Go on, give em a stroke. What? I just want to know which one is softer!"
  #41  
Old 04-10-2013, 10:36 PM
Lynn Bodoni Lynn Bodoni is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotflungwok View Post
I think I'm going to pass. My cats are both tutored, and I don't want to get banned from the humane society I volunteer at for molesting kittens. 'I just wanted to see how soft there were, really!'
Both my male cats are neutered and orange. You owe it to science to start feeling kitten testicles, and report on the softness, and especially grade the softness according to age and color of kitten.

I'll chip in for your Betadine and bandage fund, because if you start feeling up kittens, at least one of them is going to think it's playtime.
  #42  
Old 04-11-2013, 01:14 AM
drewtwo99 drewtwo99 is offline
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For the next experiment I also recommend some packing tape that says "USPS Sucks!" or "USPS employees are government leeches!" or "FUCK THE USPS" just to see how lucky the Atheist brand tape has it
  #43  
Old 04-11-2013, 09:26 AM
hotflungwok hotflungwok is offline
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Both my male cats are neutered and orange. You owe it to science to start feeling kitten testicles, and report on the softness, and especially grade the softness according to age and color of kitten.
Well, as long as it's for science. I'm going to need some grant money and a few grad students. Also lots of untutored kittens.
  #44  
Old 04-11-2013, 09:28 AM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
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So All God's Children Got Shoes faster?
  #45  
Old 04-11-2013, 09:29 AM
Doug K. Doug K. is offline
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Well, as long as it's for science. I'm going to need some grant money and a few grad students. Also lots of untutored kittens.
I still want to know where to find a tutor for kittens.
  #46  
Old 04-11-2013, 10:47 AM
zweisamkeit zweisamkeit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo View Post
I didn't call them "cheap shoes" nor did I say they looked poorly constructed.

I said they look cheap to make: they all have the same thin rubber sole made from the same last and the same patterned upper which is 3 or 4 cuts of what looks like suede. There aren't even eyelets for the laces, just holes punched in the fabric. Profit margin must be huge per pair.
Considering that they're a tiny company making the shoes themselves and raised capital via Kickstarter just last year, I'd be surprised if they DO have a huge profit margin. They also donate 10% of "any money [they] make" to secular charities to help combat the belief that atheists have no moral code since they don't believe in god.

Generally huge profit margins come with economies of scale and I don't think this company is established enough or large enough to really be there (and I doubt they want to be there, since the goal was to hand-make shoes).
  #47  
Old 04-17-2013, 05:56 PM
Princhester Princhester is offline
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Another thing they should try is putting shock stickers in the boxes. Who would take my bet that more of the atheist labelled boxes would get thrown around?

Having said that, this whole thing screams "publicity stunt" to me.
  #48  
Old 04-18-2013, 12:11 PM
Zebra Zebra is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atheist shoes
After having run a series of control in Germany and Europe, which demonstrate no such bias, the problem appears to lie in the USA, and is likely explained by the differential handling of packages by the employees of the US Postal Service.
Sounds like they did a number of experiments, not just one, and eliminated other sources of interference.
  #49  
Old 04-18-2013, 12:17 PM
Zebra Zebra is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atheist shoes
After having run a series of control in Germany and Europe, which demonstrate no such bias, the problem appears to lie in the USA, and is likely explained by the differential handling of packages by the employees of the US Postal Service.
Sounds like they did a number of experiments, not just one, and eliminated other sources of interference.
  #50  
Old 04-18-2013, 08:39 PM
Waenara Waenara is offline
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Sounds like they did a number of experiments, not just one, and eliminated other sources of interference.
I wonder if there's some way if they could figure out if the problem is actually with the USPS, or maybe it's being held up in Customs? Maybe tag the boxes with GPS and see where the delays occur?
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