Assault with a concealed weapon? 
Assault with a Friendly Weapon?
That woman looks like a total crackhead
You can use them as weapons in Dead Rising 3 so why not?
Loach. What do you mean? I was just about to buy Precious Young Son that game. :eek:
It is rated M.
Oh, beat her physically? When I read the thread title, I assumed there was some sort of contest. Stamina vs. experience, that kind of thing.
No, assault with a dildo-ey weapon.
Doesn’t quite fit. How about ‘dildy’ weapon?
ETA: I just realised how ‘doesn’t quite fit’ might be taken out of context, since we’re talking about a marital aid.
.
Assault with a diddly weapon.
You win the thread
She’s been playing too much GTA san andreas maybe.
When asked about the woman’s head wound, the Emergency Room doctor said, “Something’s fishy here.”
And when asked to evaluate her mental state, he said “shaken.”
+1 
A tie for the thread win.
The daughter claimed she is innocent, and that the actual attacker was her partner Steely Dan.
In various locations like the strip clubs or sex shops you can find “massagers.” You can pick up anything in the game and use it as a weapon but these are a bit wobbly and not very effective. However you can combine a massager with a leaf blower and get a Super Massager which shoots dildos with deadly force. Hope that helps.
Does the doctor’s report read blunt trauma or penetrating trauma, I wonder?
…whose vibrator?