It makes sense that if one sex contributes only DNA and the other contributes an egg, the egg-producing one is the female.
The “bigger gamete” is the hair-splitting version of that same distinction.
My guess is that if there was a case where the bigger gamete was almost entirely DNA and meaningless stuff taking up space, and the smaller one contributed most of the organelles for the resulting fertilized cell, they’d adjust the definition so that it’s the one that contributes the most complexity, rather than mere size.
But until we find a funky example like that, size matters.
Of course, it’s biology and evolution, so my guess is that chances are good we’ll find an example that challenges the definition. I bet that happens with just about any biological definition.
IIRC Due to needing to compete in dominance battles, the female hyenas clitoris has gotten so big it’s a pseudo phallus. They give birth through the pseudo phallus.
In this case, it’s even simpler than that. The “penis” works in reverse, sucking the male gametes into the female. The gametes still combine in the female, and the female lays the eggs. And it appears that she consumes the male, since the BBC article mentions getting nutrients from the male. The “penis” is the only thing that seems to be male about her.