I just read an article in Esquire magazine that said the average time for actual intercourse is only 3 - 7 minutes with premature ejaculating men clocking in at at minute or so. Is that right? If it is true, no wonder so many women are sexually dissatisfied. I would be pissed off too.
Nobody ever coached me on how to have sex but I always thought that anything under 15 minutes was premature and 30 minutes is average. The authors of that article say that anything over 12 minutes is very rare. Well I guess I missed my Olympic sport because I once went for 6 hours sustained and could do it again if some people didn’t complain about cramps and general soreness. An hour is about average for me.
I can almost believe it for some people but I have been in the room (or cars) when other people had sex and they lasted a whole lot longer than 3 - 7 minutes. That hardly seems worthwhile and not worth the cost of a Taco Bell meal let alone a fancy wedding ring.
What is the deal? Are most people really going through a very expensive and emotional ritual barely longer than commercial breaks? I don’t understand what the issue is. If it is fun or worthwhile, you should spend a whole lot more time on it.
The true test of how good a job you are doing is how many are omming back for more helpings. If you happened to be married are you both enjoying yourselves. We still have those marathons on occassion but for the most part 30 min seems to work just fine. The foreplay takes care of a lot of emotional needs and reinforces the love for each other and the orgasm pumps us full of feel good chemicals regardless of how quick or long it takes us to get there.
While I like to spend hours in the process I’m not humping anything for 30 minutes straight. That sounds more like exercise on a treadmill than an intimate exchange. I’d need a battery powered lubricator to keep up with anybody I was with. And I can think of better things to do with a battery.
I feel like I’d need some kind of chain-gang song to get through it. ♪♪ I’ve been working on the railroad, all the livelong day ♪♪
I am serious in the questions in my post but I am kind of ashamed of my user name that I picked a long time ago. I may ask the admins to change it to LeatherDong so I can be more discrete :).
I think that is really part of it though. Whatever the opposite of premature ejaculation is, I have it. I can last for as long as I want and even a finishing effort takes many minutes at the least. I was just really surprised that the average time was so short. It seems like a whole lot of effort for not much time.
I have had people complain or even give up after they got too sore or cramped. I know that is unusual. However, I always assumed that the average time was much, much longer for other people but it looks like other people have very different experiences.
This reminds me of the Thai bargirls’ slang term for Japanese customers: three fours. That’s 1. four inches; 2. four minutes; 3. four thousand baht. (4000 baht is US$122 at the present exchange rate and a gross overpayment, but the Japanese are known here for throwing around crazy money.)
I haven’t had a stopwatch out most of the time, but I’m going to guess the average for the actual PIV part comes to about 12 minutes, in my personal playbook. I have been with marathoners (an hour or more), and it’s generally pretty terrible. I’d rather have a guy who’s great at foreplay (or postplay, I’m not picky) and only lasts a couple of minutes with PIV. Although I do orgasm with PIV, if it doesn’t happen quickly, it ain’t gonna happen. Other methods are more reliable.
We’ve had these threads before, and I don’t consider myself that great but 3-7 minutes seems ridiculous to me. I thought 20 was good and 10 about the minimum for everyone to have a good time. It can be faster too, but I thought that was about right.
If she gets on top a while it can be even longer, but after 20 I think everyone’s just ready to get it over with, exchange money, and get off that pile of trash and out of that alley. I mean, fall asleep in each other’s arms while talking about your feelings. Yeah.
If this article is based on the study I’m thinking of, it’s important to know how “intercourse” is defined and measured specifically with regards to the study.
Scientific studies have to not only define their terms and goals, but narrow the focus so there aren’t a ridiculous number of variables that will fuck up the results. So the study (again, if it’s the one I’m familiar with) measured length of intercourse, with “intercourse” being defined as getting into a position and continuously thrusting/moving in a steady rhythm - no changes. No switching positions, pauses, changing the angle or where your weight is supported. Is this realistically how people fuck? Not really. But how on God’s green earth would you be able to control for all those variables?
But even so, I’m with Dangerosa - most of what men think is desirable during sex … Is often based on what men think women desire (and also assumes that every woman desires the same things which is laughably wrong). Staying power - usually only referred to related to PiV sex - isn’t very high on many women’s sex preferences (that shit can get really boring, natural wetness dries up, chafing begins, tons of fun like that). It seems to be more important to men and their feelings regarding their sexual prowess and masculinity instead.
Seven minutes has apparently been the norm for at least 25 years. In 1969 Irving Wallace published the novel The Seven Minutes, IIRC which was purportedly the length of the average sex act back then too.
The novel was about the publication of a book describing what a woman was thinking during those seven minutes, and subsequent court battle to ban the book.
