Awww. All the pretentious movie reviewers discover once again that nobody listens to them, because they were bagging on the movie while it was still a book. Too bad, so sad, movie critics E.L. James and fans will be laughing at you all the way to the bank.
And yes, I’m pretty sure there WILL be sequels. And copycats. Lots and lots and lots of copycats. Nothing succeeds like success.
I don’t get it. You have to be pretty nimble to avoid unwanted porn on the internet, and if you DO want it, it’s incredibly easy to get all you want, of any genre, of any number on a scale of 1 to 10 from soft to very, very hard, for free.
So it’s a complete mystery to me why anyone would want the half-baked stuff that makes it into mainstream studio movies. Or even pop videos – “Blurred Lines” went viral because (gasp) it had some topless women in it.
I’ll never understand people.
I didn’t listen to the critics when it came to Maleficent, and I loved that. It made a lot of money so lots of other people didn’t listen either. I’m glad about that.
This one. I don’t care whether the reviews are bad or what. I have no interest in seeing it, and won’t, unless someone out there wants to pay me some serious big bucks. PM me and we’ll negotiate. Wealthy only need reply.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter what critics say.
Fifty Shades is not porn, really, it’s an erotic romance, a traditional romance with strong erotic scenes and elements. That’s much harder to find in visual form, though it’s VERY popular in written form. Porn has little use for characterization and plot other than to set up the sex scenes. Erotic romances key in on characters, relationships and story but also have very raunchy sex scenes and strong sexual themes. It’s very woman-centric, and in fact 82 percent of the audience for the movie was female.
Who exactly are the “pretentious movie reviewers” you’re referring to? I’d be surprised if many professional critics predicted that this movie wouldn’t make money. There are no sure things in Hollywood, but a movie based on a major bestseller seems like a relatively safe bet, no matter how little one may think of the quality of the novel.
As for the quality of the movie itself, the reviews I’ve seen weren’t particularly savage. (I don’t plan to watch 50 Shades, but I love reading movie reviews.) It got 2.5 stars from the New York Times, a C from the AV Club, a 4.2/10 from the critics counted by Rotten Tomatoes (4.8 from “top critics”), and a Metacritic score of 47/100. That’s pretty “meh”, but generally better than the recent erotic thriller/Jennifer Lopez vehicle The Boy Next Door. The critical consensus seems to be that 50 Shades isn’t a good movie but that if taken as trashy entertainment is at least kinda fun. The biggest flaw, mentioned in all the reviews I’ve seen of it, is apparently a bland performance by the male lead.
Of course “they were bagging on the movie while it was still a book.” It was a terrible book, and that rarely augers well for a film based on it. However, the best review I’ve heard of the movie was that it was better than the book.
EvCap, could you join me? I wish to get personal for a moment.
So which was better, the book or the movie? I’ve heard that the movie left out some of the more tampon related scenes.
I never read the book. I unfortunately got dragged to see the movie. It’s amazing how sex can be made so boring and how two people can have so little chemistry while naked together. This apart from the fact that the movie is full of age-old cliches, is predictable, and the whole 2 hours of it and the sudden ending was basically a windup for the next movie.
I think a LOT of men got dragged to see the movie this weekend by their wives who were curious about all the hoopla. A great example of a marketing success.
The movie is indeed awful. They left out everything that made the book charming, the leads can’t act, and it was poorly cut. Major fail.
God that’s sad.
Yesterday I “dragged” my husband to see the Oscar-nominated Animated and Live Action Shorts, Kingsman, and Jupiter Rising (we enjoyed the Brazil references and the Chicago scenes). We had a good day at the movies. I wanted to take him to see Selma, which I’ve already seen, but the timings were all wrong since we had to plan our day around the Shorts, and Selma only had 2 showings.
Other movies I’ve dragged my husband to in the past: Run, Lola, Run, Fight Club, Dogville (he’s never quite forgiven me for that one), City of God, The Raid, 13 Assassins, Wild and several others. I would never drag him to another Lars von Trier, but otherwise he pretty much trusts my taste. Those men who have wives who actually WANT to see Fifty Shades of Grey have my sympathy.
Yeah, reviewers don’t review movies until they’ve seen them. Most reviewers just tried to pay attention to what happens in the theatre. Apparently the movie dumped some of the worst bits of the books–like the narrator’s “inner goddess.” (I’ve read hilarious critiques.) Unfortunately, the actors apparently have little chemistry. Sounds rather slick & dull.
There were three books so there will be three movies.
EC, you’re into BDSM, right? I thought the BDSM community hated this work because it portrayed BDSM badly, making Mr. Grey out to be abusive and possibly a rapist.
And, everyone who has seen it, did they fix that? That’s the only thing that interests me about it.
I haven’t seen the movie, only read the book. I will probably watch the movie when it gets to cable or DVD, and I can ignore it if I want to. In the theater you have to give the movie your full attention, so if it’s bad you have lost the entire span of the movie and however long it took you to go there and back. And I figured that 50 Shades was probably going to suck. There are about a thousand ways to fuck up a movie like that, and only a few ways to get it right. The thing that bothered me about the critics was that they seemed to want the movie to fail from the get-go. I was hoping it would succeed, despite the odds. So I am very glad the movie succeeded for so many viewers.
So, what’s so saucy about the book? I’m under the impression it’s pretty vanilla, but maybe I’m wrong. Did they make it safer for the movie?
What are the actual acts? Just tying the girl up and hitting her? Breath play? Orgasmic tease and denial/edgeplay? Rape role play? Candle wax melting onto nipples? Rubberbands and clothes pins? Icecubes? Clit abuse? Face sitting? Those too lazy to google want to know.
I read the first book and there was no rape and no abuse. Might have been in the second and third books, I don’t know. Christian Grey WAS portrayed as a damaged person, the product of an abusive birth mother (though his adoptive parents were very nice people) and who got involved in a sub/dom relationship with a much older woman when he was still quite young. Basically, he was the modern BDSM equivalent of the brooding, damaged hero who is saved by the love of a pure, decent woman, in this case, Ana. Except Ana LURVES the bondage sex, that much is made very clear in the first book, her inner salsa dancer was doing triple-loop meringoes when Christian tied her up and had sex with her. (BTW, I enjoyed the references to the inner goddess doing jigs and tap-dancing as Christian got jiggy with her, it struck me as an amusing metaphor for her sexual arousal.)
Now it’s true that some BDSM folks are very upset that Fifty Shades does not portray a textbook healthy BDSM relationship as it should be in all the annals of BDSM political correctness. But as I kept saying to them, IT’S A WORK OF FICTION, NOT A FRICKING MARRIAGE MANUAL! Flawed characters are perfectly OK in fiction. Deal. I can understand people wishing that a book with a BDSM theme that was so broadly popular would have had a less damaged male protagonist than Christian Grey, but hey, can’t have EVERYTHING.
I guess what I am saying is that the BDSM community is not monolithic on the topic. In fact, FEMINISTS aren’t monolithic on the topic. Here’s an article from a sex educator who HAS read the books and who has some very nice things to say about “Fifty Shades” and thinks it has important positive lessons for young people starting out vanilla relationships. For example, the way Ana and Christian discuss and use birth control BEFORE they have sex.
Lots of bondage, blindfolds, a paddling, a flogging, ben-wa balls, and some nice dominance/submission moves by Mr. Grey. The illustrated Cosmo article in the spoiler box below (the illos are NSFW of course though not all that prurient) does a pretty good idea of giving the gist of them. The thing I found interesting and different about the movie was how Ana liked the kinky sex from the beginning. She was definitely not a reluctant virgin.
This is a point of disagreement between myself and Evil Captor. I have no issue with the core of 50 Shades, but the presentation is absolutely terrible. If 50 Shades was supposed to be a psychological thriller about a woman who had the misfortune to catch the eye of Christian Grey, the billionaire psycho-stalker, I’d be all for it, even if people were still getting their rocks off to it. What I hate is that E.L. James and her fans think it’s a love story, and that BDSM is anything more than the mask Christian Grey uses to pretend he’s not a monster.
I want millions of dollars too, and I’ve thought it over.
I’ve read that many women, especially those of a certain age, have difficulty achieving orgasm. This may explain the (financially exploitable) notion that something/someone different will provide an improvement in this area. Of course, social constraints (slut-shaming, stranger-danger, kids’ extracurricular schedules, etc.) mean that this need be done largely in the area of fantasy. Ergo 50SG.
I’ve also read that women, especially those of a certain age, have difficulty making satisfactory bowel movements.
“50 Flavors of Yogurt,” and I somehow work the objectification of the male into the picture: the only non-invisible men are model-handsome billionaires whose personal problems are so simple that they can be solved by the female lead doing what she wants to do anyway: completing a full evacuation, while he’s released from his childhood demons and finds ultimate fulfillment as a human being by being “the one” (who passes a roll through the bathroom door to her).
@ Slithy
If I had millions of dollars I’d give them to you to make that happen. I suggest Jaime Lee “Ac-ti-vi-aaaaaaa!” Curtis for the female lead.
The book sold over 100 million copies to people who didn’t care what critics said. Don’t go to Vegas, you don’t understand the concept of odds.