Weasel disables Large Hadron Collider, pays the ultimate price

[oft_wears_hats]

Link (NPR)

@NPR

The Large Hadron Collider, a 17-mile superconducting machine designed to smash protons together at close to the speed of light, went offline overnight. Engineers investigating the mishap found the charred remains of a furry creature near a gnawed-through power cable.

“We had electrical problems, and we are pretty sure this was caused by a small animal,” says Arnaud Marsollier, head of press for CERN, the organization that runs the $7 billion particle collider in Switzerland. Although they had not conducted a thorough analysis of the remains, Marsollier says they believe the creature was “a weasel, probably.”

Could have been worse. I don’t think we’re equipped to deal with a vengeful Dr. Manhattan weasel. Looks like the LHC will be down for a few weeks. Definitely not ideal, but I’m glad the damage wasn’t more severe. I hope the little critter went down quickly.

[Richard_Parker]

Oh, sure it was a weasel. It definitely wasn’t the creatures from Kepler-186f, attempting to sabotage our invention of quantum propulsion.

[TriPolar]

Some pet weasel lost his life, but his owner holding him at the time is now Ferret Man!

[Scumpup]

Weasels are mustelids. They are predatory, carnivorous little creatures. They aren’t gnawers, though. That whole destructive “what can I chew that will cost somebody the most possible amount of money” thing is a strategy of rodents. The small furry creature that had its intrinsic field removed was much more likely some species of rat than it was a weasel.

[kanicbird]

@Scumpup

Weasels are mustelids. They are predatory, carnivorous little creatures. They aren’t gnawers, though. That whole destructive “what can I chew that will cost somebody the most possible amount of money” thing is a strategy of rodents. The small furry creature that had its intrinsic field removed was much more likely some species of rat than it was a weasel.

So the weasel was framed while some rodent made it look like a suicide.

[Corner_Case]

Weasels are well known for their Luddite inclinations. Second only to gremlins. You usually don’t encounter them in the field (well, yes, in the field, but no, not in a field of endeavor - a career as it were) because their plans are so cunning - hence the phrase…

Blackadder: I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.

[Thudlow_Boink]

Pop!

[beowulff]

@kanicbird

So the weasel was framed while some rodent made it look like a suicide.

Who Fwamed Woger Weasel?

[Scumpup]

@kanicbird

So the weasel was framed while some rodent made it look like a suicide.

I don’t know whether I enjoy that line more in an Edward G. Robinson voice or a Humphrey Bogart voice.

[Doctor_Jackson]

Here is a “before” picture of the poor guy, if anyone is interested.

[carnivorousplant]

@Richard_Parker

Oh, sure it was a weasel. It definitely wasn’t the creatures from Kepler-186f, attempting to sabotage our invention of quantum propulsion.

The question is what did the Kepler-186F agent do before he tossed a weasel onto the power grid to cover his actions?
Remember the Iranian centrifuges and Stuxnet? :dubious:

[Senegoid]

Is a weasel (or rodent, whatever) so out-of-place in the LHC? According to the definitions as I understand them, a weasel (or rodent) is just a very large hadron, right?

[Ethilrist]

Agent 247 reporting mission success.

[Quercus]

@kanicbird

So the weasel was framed while some rodent made it look like a suicide.

@Scumpup

I don’t know whether I enjoy that line more in an Edward G. Robinson voice or a Humphrey Bogart voice.

It also works in a Phil Hartman as Zapp Brannigan voice.

[Quercus]

@Quercus

It also works in a Phil Hartman as Zapp Brannigan voice.

Of course, I meant to say Billy West as Zapp Brannigan. Must have been an autocorrect problem.

[Rick_Kitchen]

I didn’t know Donald Trump was even in Switzerland.

[robert_columbia]

@Corner_Case

Weasels are well known for their Luddite inclinations. Second only to gremlins. You usually don’t encounter them in the field (well, yes, in the field, but no, not in a field of endeavor - a career as it were) because their plans are so cunning - hence the phrase…

“First actual case of weasel being found.”

[Count_Blucher]

@Doctor_Jackson

Here is a “before” picture of the poor guy, if anyone is interested.

How did it fry again? Weasel gripped live mesh…?

[X.L.Lent]

Could this have been the work of Straight Dope member Spice Weasel?

[Spice_Weasel]

@X.L.Lent

Could this have been the work of Straight Dope member Spice Weasel?

I was assisting Elzar with a cooking competition that day. Sheesh, next you’re gonna ask me if I knew him.