A Load of Cobblers

17 November 2009

Notice in shop window:

To all our valued clients: We apologise for the inconvenience but the shop will be closed all week due to health reasons. Normal service will be resumed on 23 November.

I don’t think this message applies to us, not being valued clients and all, but the news that normal service will be resumed next week fills us with boundless joy, not least because we might yet be rewarded with another prodigiously wacky excuse.

Incidentally, we’ve just looked at the slip we were given for a free heel repair (see post #14). It disappeared unscrutinised into the maw of my SO’s handbag last week, but now we examine the thing, it appears to be written on the back of a raffle ticket. (For the record, it’s ticket No. 4.) This alarming discovery opens up another possibility regarding the cobbler’s modus operandi.

We believe it’s quite feasible that for every 100 pairs of boots he takes in for repair, the cobbler places the counterfoils in a hat and draws out 10 lucky winners who, as a prize, get their boots back.

Date of next visit: 24 November.

A cobbler who (apparently) will not repair shoes: he will not last.

Don’t forget to bring a gift for the baby!

Booties?

That’s awlful.

I can’t believe you have the sole objection to that pun.

Do you mean these?

sigh

Yes.

Is there any joke that isn’t made funnier by having to explain it?

Don’t worry, Gyrate, I got in. (In fact, I was torn between being delight and annoyed that you’d beaten me to it.)

24 November 2009

Partner and I visit cobbler to enquire about non-delivery of boots, and to establish their current availability.

Cobbler states he has visited our village three times on futile mission to locate address. He further states that boots are ready, accessible, and unobstructed by third parties reconstructing store-rooms. He places boots in bag and hands them to us. We mumble words of gratitude and run out of shop with bag.

25 November 2009

My SO, somewhat belatedly I agree, examines the contents of the bag.

It would appear that while one pair of boots has been successfully repaired to the extent that she can now walk around in them without falling over, the other pair has totally escaped the cobbler’s attention, and has been returned to her untroubled by repairs. I immediately vote for taking the boots back to the cobbler without further delay, but this suggestion triggers the propulsion of an (unrepaired) boot in my general direction.

I disappear upstairs before she can take aim with the other one, so I don’t know what happened next.

So you’re leaving us waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it were?

the saga continues!!

Not to retread an opinion that’s already pretty well heeled, but it sounds like you guys just got off on the wrong foot. It’s a shame to see a craftsman/customer relationship laced with such duplicity and mistrust. At the very least, may this incident trigger some sole-searching on the part of the cobbler.

(Forgive a newbie’s lame attempt at punnery & inability to find a second meaning for ‘aglet.’)

It’s the sound Chez makes when his wife throws her boot at him.

You ain’t alone, brother.

Now THIS is what I expect from Eastern European customer service. The “saving face” bit didn’t ring true to me, because Eastern Europeans aren’t embarrassed by providing people with terrible service; they take it for granted. Holding your shoes for weeks on end and then not doing the job at all? Yeah. That sounds about right.

I once had my winter coat cleaned at a dry cleaner in Bulgaria. I got it back a month and a half later. They lost it and sent it to another city. They weren’t terribly apologetic when it was recovered, of course. (It was cleaned, though.)

I know it’s been 6 months, but I am bumping this in case ANYone else hadn’t read it and gotten their giggles’worth. (Also, it’s time to change my sig on another board, but this one’s favored status will be hard to one-up, I fear)

That’s what Threadspotting’s for. I fear this thread will rise from the grave to devour men’s soles.

Psh, that reply’s just laced with drama.