I shall hold back my comments on this thread for I risk banning yet again. Let it be known that I disagree and we’ll leave it at that.
< spit >
Good lord, this looks like it’s gonna get ugly quick. Seeing as how Persephone has herself states that Dex does not owe her an apology, and that she has “the utmost respect” for him, can everyone maybe just cool down a little bit here?
Unclear facts and missed opportunities for communication contributed to an ugly little episode. Please try to keep that in mind as you post.
No. Because he wasn’t, and Ed recognized that fact:
I for one am inclined to disagree. I have seen similar sentiments expressed whenn the “victim” was not such a popular poster.
In another SDMB-related sommunity there has been quite a bit of discussion in this matter and the things that have the most people upset are
- Dex clearly violated the forum rules when he flamed Persephone within the original MPSIMs thread, an action which would get anyone else at the most banned and in the least a stern warning (I received one once myself for lashing at a troll)
2)There has seemed to be at least a little of “I apologize but I’m only saying that to shut you up” expressed.
I’m only dimly aware of these events and did not participate in the threads. While acknowledging Dexter’s main point of concern for the children and the emotional response, I can see how such a course of events is likely as not to be a way of seeking help, however unusual…and as a person with a history of depression I know that there, but for the grace of gods, go I…
I wish you the best Persephone. That’s really all I wanted to say.
I should have read QED post before finishing mine and mentioning things as bare fact.
Inn any case though, the belief that a rule was violated (whether it was or not) was one of the core issues
The original quote is
Originally posted by CK Dexter Haven
I’d consider that a flame.
fluiddruid said exactly what I was going to say – I think it would be a shame if mods and admins were unable to participate as fully as regular users.
I personally thought it was obvious that CK was posting his own opinions and not those of the SDMB, and think he should have every right to do so in the future, as long as he adds a <Admin Hat Off> (which he should have done just to be clear).
Just my two cents.
I’m not going to comment on the original situation. It’s over now.
But I’m glad that the issue of mods/admins and “pittings” has been satisfactorily resolved. A RL friend of mine is a mod at a board that, for some time, had an ongoing flame war that wasn’t so bad until one of the other mods stepped right into the middle of it. It took them months to sort out that mess, and only after a number of the participants and the mod were banned.
May I suggest, though, if there’s a subject that “we are not supposed to talk about until further notice,” that there is a sticky to that effect in the relevant forum? It would have saved at least three threads from being locked (and maybe one of our posters).
Can we drop this!?
(just asking)
Techie, why post just to say you’re not going to post? What’s the point of that?
My main problem with Dex was not his reaction per se, I admit I had a similer one when I heard the news: “Wow, if there’s a problem that serious, why is Cristi in NY?”, my problem with Dex is his seemingly burning need to get his shots in on Cristi. My reaction was similar to his, but I took the time to find out:
a: Yes, the situation was serious, but it was being taken care of and:
b: Cristi herself was appalled and determined not to let it happen again.
The fact that Dex couldn’t be bothered to check with a fellow moderator and friend who was very much involved in the situation helping Cristi, which Dex knew, before popping off is one of the lapses in judgement I see here; the other being, as I mentioned before, the seemingly urgent desire to flame Cristi, especially when the thread that caused all of this was one saying “Wow, I had these problems and I would just like to thank the people who stepped up to help me work on solving them”. I hope Dex dosen’t have any friends or aquaintances who die owing him money - seeing him trying to get back what he’s owed from the widdow at the funeral won’t be a pretty sight.
I wouldn’t.
I would consider it a very good set of questions. The answers to which I would be interested before deciding whether it was appropriate to be congratulating the greater Doper community for helping to put the children back into this house.
Now, I have a bit more personal knowledge of the people who did help and am more than willing to trust their judgement (and was out of town while this all happened). Had I been presented with nothing mroe than Persephone’s OP, I would have been very leery of just jumping in with a “good job guys!”
How is it your place to suggest we drop it?
I’m with hardygrrl and Meros. 'seph wasn’t bragging about partying while her kids were in squalor. Far from it.
In fact, not only would I consider that a flame, I’d also call it libel.
I think Dex did overreact and should have expressed his concern in a more sensitve matter to Persephone instead of ripping into her (espeacially since he didn’t even know all the facts at that time). I agree with Lobsang though that this matter should be dropped but I’m willing to bet 50 bucks that it will go on to at least 3 pages.
Was this directed at me?
I didn’t SUGGEST I REQUESTED. It is everyone’s place to ASK. In fact I considered adding an ‘i’m not worthy so please don’t take this as a demand’ but didn’t as I felt it was unnecesary (that no-one see it as a demand or ‘suggestion’)
I know nothing of this situation… but since it seems to have been resolved…
(I say “seems” because you can never tell what’s going on in just text messages and emails and such)
Let’s just drop it!
F_X
So now everyone is going to fight about whether they were right to fight about the whole thing in the first place?
Sheesh.
I’m sorry persephone had her problems, I’m glad folks on the SDMB were willing to step up and help her when she needed some help, I’m sorry Dex blasted and pitted her and got taken to task for it, I’m sorry that even though persephone said he didn’t need to apologize and he did anyway, apparently that’s not good enough to end the whole thing, and I’m sorry that people feel the need to keep dragging the same old muddy mess out to examine it yet again.
I’m with Lobsang.
Because, I have been warned and speaking my mind over this situation will inevitably lead to my banning. Why I care, I don’t know, I guess because I have friends over here and I do care about them.
However…
I think that Dex’s words in this particular thread where a veiled attempt and while I agree with what Zotti said, Dex’s remarks about the subject, days upon days after and having a more detailed account of what Persephone told about her situation, it’s just dispicable. (sp) I am appalled and since I can’t call out a an admin I will leave it at that.
< spit >
First, Ed, thanks for starting this thread. I agree about staff not pitting posters; as a matter of fact I mentioned this to UncleBeer last week.
I don’t think the problem was that anyone thought that Dex was posting as an adminstrator when he started the Pit thread. I think it was fairly obvious that he wasn’t. I think it’s that as an administrator, he’s presumably supposed to have the interests of the boards and the community here, and I think it would have only taken about 10 seconds of thought to realize how ugly things would get before either posting starting the pit thread.
Also, Dex, your claim about speaking “the truth”, just harshly. In your MPSIMS post, quoted above, you’re comparing Persephone’s home to “rat-infested ghetto buildings with broken glass and uncleaned-up vomit.” You’re sure you don’t want to back off from saying that you know “the truth” here? You don’t any more than I do. You weren’t there.
On preview, I gotta agree with Weirddave as well. I also wondered what the hell was going on when I saw the MPSIMS OP, but I figured there was a lot going on that wasn’t in the OP, and since I knew Persephone IRL, I figured I wouldn’t jump to the obvious nasty conclusions. I figured someone might pit her, but I sure as hell didn’t think it would be an admin - one of the people who’s supposed to keep order around here.
As for the “let’s drop it crowd” - I’m sure it will be droped eventually. But you see, the originally threads were locked a week ago, and some folks have been stewing, and want to vent their spleens a bit. Get it? Saying “Drop it” will only result it “don’t read the damn thread” posts.
Thank you, Ed, for using your time to look into this matter. It is greatly appreciated. I knew when I posted the MPSIMS thread that I was opening myself up for a Pitting, and I’ve never denied that. I’ve accepted the responsibility for that one from the get-go. I’ve been a member of these boards for a long time. I know how these things work sometimes. And I have never objected to the Pitting itself. It was the manner in which it was done. And FTR, I’ve never thought that anyone other than Dex was speaking.
A few point by points, now, to Dex:
No one condemned you for speaking the truth. You were condemned for speaking without finding out what the truth was, when you had the resources available to you to do so. Had you spoken the truth, not one word of THIS thread would be happening. And I said the same thing in the original Pit thread.
I agree with one thing–my email addy had not been updated. However. You could have posted in the MPSIMS thread–“I’d like to email you, but your email hasn’t been updated.” Or you could have emailed Euty and asked for it. No, it’s not a requirement to email before a Pitting. But you, as an admin, should have, out of simple respect to Euty. Not respect for me, but for him.
No one hugged me for the bad stuff, Dex. They hugged me for facing my situation, dealing with it, and showing my friends how much I’ve appreciated everything they’ve done to assist me during this. Do not ever mention endangerment or abuse again. I have not been charged with any crime whatsoever, nor will I. My children may have had to stay in another location for a week, but they were never removed from my custody.
And on that note…that is all I will say, on these boards, regarding my personal situation. Because this matter ceased to be about me quite a while ago. It’s about policy now.