If asked, I would give up my seat. But I’d avoid making eye contact so that someone else would hopefully step up first.
Applying sanctimony to an obvious joke. Funny how some people seem to lose their perspective sometimes.
Roddy
Just give up my seat and let them duke it out. Once I give up my seat it’s no longer my problem.
If it’s a serious question, I’ll answer with a serious question: Which of the three is likely to have most difficulty/discomfort standing?
My off-the-top-of-the-head guess is that it’d be the person on crutches—agree or disagree? Or, on the other hand, on a short ride at least would it be easier for Crutchie to remain standing rather than sit down, figure out what to do with the crutches, and then stand up again when it was time to get off?
I give up. What’s the punch line?
They got onto a train, they didn’t walk into a bar.
I would stand and let whoever got there first take it.
The old person is old and the pregnant woman is pregnant. How attractive is Crutchie?
Whoever looks like he needs it the most, obviously. A fit young man in crutches can stand, a pregnant woman who isn’t too advanced can too.
Naw, just kidding. I would pretend to be sleeping or too immersed in my thoughts or a book to notice them, as I usually do.
That’s short-sighted. Pregnant women have large boobs, quite possibly pregnancy-hormones making them insatiably horny, and best of all - no contraception needed!
The practical answer is, whoever is positioned in such a way as to get my seat conveniently; normally I’m on the train at rush hour. If granny or preggo are half a crowded train car away from me, they’re out of luck. It’s no good offering your seat when it takes 15 minutes just for them to shamble over.
If all three are equally positioned to accept the seat, whoever looked the most obviously fatigued, distressed, or unsteady would get the offer.
Will there be another train in a couple minutes? If yes I’ll wait.
I’d get up and then look for any young folks lounging across two seats, listening to their music, pretending not to notice people who need their seat and ask them to stand. I LOVE making young people learn some manners.
Doesn’t sound like it will be a great opening line to a gag, but I await eagerly for the punchline.
“The Aristocrats!”
This…if there’s no obvious difference between them on this count, then:
(Except I don’t glare. I let them take the hint organically.)
This is assuming I’m having a good day and can stand myself, obviously, which is hardly guaranteed.
New looking hospital style crutches or the more permanent variety? That matters a lot. Are you sure the pregnancy isn’t actually too much junk food and she will bite your head off for dessert? I had an anorexic friend who looked 80 at 39, she would yell at anyone who treated her as old (she died at 40).
There is too much risk in asking any of them but I am getting up and moving away regardless, that is what I usually do instead of asking or offering. They can then figure it out themselves, one will slide in I am sure.
Could we use the crutches to construct more seats, Macguyver-style? Just lay them across the other seats and all 3 can squish on. No?
I’d say the person on crutches. Obviously it could depend on the individual cases and how severely all 3 are afflicted by their various… uh, conditions, but the person on crutches is the one with an injury/condition that makes them physically unable to use a leg properly, so it doesn’t seem right to make them stand on it. For the other two, standing is more likely to be a matter of discomfort or weariness. But I’d hate to see some person on crutches hopping about on one leg and trying not to fall over.
My thoughts, exactly.
Although, you said it much better, than I would have. 
I got this question from Bill Gates when I went for a job at Microsoft. My answer, the correct one was, take one of the crutches and beat the owner to death with it. Use the other to abort the pregnant woman. Push the elderly person back out the door.
wait I know this…
First we take the elderly person and the pregnant woman to the other side, then we go back with the pregnant women and pickup the person with crutches…