This image has been helping to fight feelings of hopelessness for many many years
Being a Doper, you’ll probably find the image more funny than inspiring. If so - good on you! 
I just wanted to point this out - this is exactly how it goes. During my anxiety recovery, I vividly remember going shopping at Zellers for about an hour, and coming back to my car, and realizing that I had forgotten to worry FOR A WHOLE HOUR!!!* I think that might have been a turning point for me - after months of worrying and having anxiety pretty much every day, I had a WHOLE HOUR of peace.
*Those of you with anxiety and/or depression can probably relate to the big deal that a WHOLE HOUR of peace can be. 
Ok, first off guys, I can’t thank everyone enough again. So let it suffice that I’d happily name my non-existent future child after everyone whose wished me good things. You are the bomb.
Next, to address a couple of points made in the interim of my last posts:
I think surgeries in general must drive my already nutso brain chemistry into overdrive, as mentioned in general by Khadaji. And what I had was only a partial hysterectomy and therefore they said hormone replacement was unnecessary. However, I’ll be seeing my OB-gyn for the first time Friday since they hauled the ol’ uterus and I’ll ask her what’s the deal. (There was no way I could manage to construct that sentence that made any sense. I blame it on the Trazadone. Sorry.)
As to signs one can make, I used to have one that said; “Piss off untruths!” to counteract my negative thoughts and the never-ending bullshit that my mother spewed (she of the “She must be possessed!” department), but unfortunately, despite even listening to tapes to correct the situation, the litany continues in my head. I’m not sure if that’s due to my feelings about myself after the breakdown or the ritual mental abuse that was present my entire childhood. Guess it wouldn’t hurt to try some more though, plus being angry sounds appealing. I’m just not very good at it. Although often I see The Other Alternative as preferential to living out an old age like this. [ ::: sigh ::: ]
I like all the coping strategies listed here… I often employ the “just get through X amount of minutes” at a time strategy. Usually it involves attempting to perform routine tasks, but when I’m up for it and not playing with knifes, it does work.
For everybody here whose going through the same thing or worse, my heart goes out to y’all as well. I have no idea how I could ever help, but please feel free to either PM or email and I’ll be happy to listen if nothing else. Everyone deserves a shot at being pain free and if it might not ever be me, I definitely wish that it be all of you. Seriously, I’m here for each of you anytime that you may want or need me. Please don’t hesitate because of my ‘condition.’ Trying to assist someone else is one of the few things that makes my life tolerable.
Again, to show solidarity with you wonderful people, I’ve just gotta say that ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, OCD, THE ENTIRE DUMBASS LIST, FUCKING SUCKS!! I wish I could take it away and drown it in the depths of hell. It’s not fair and I completely sympathize with what anyone feels is necessary to do to cope with this shit. Bastard mental problems! :mad:
The “all in my head” meme comes from my mother, Shitler.
trmatthe and glee (both parents at almost once, I can’t offer my condolences enough), dear Og. If there was only some way to beat this into submission so that no one ever has to experience that path. I’m thrilled you’ve both gotten better and although, at this point, I’m not sure I have faith enough to believe that’s around the corner for me, it does make it sound that I’ll maybe find that “one hour” featherlou talks about. May peace be y’alls.
My mindless distraction device is Cubis. I don’t necessarily play to see how far I get, but to enjoy in a more esthetic sort of way. Most the time it helps. I just know that since everything I’ve ever loved has pretty much gone to hell in a handbasket, I’ve still been afforded a few things. Like that, here and movies. I shudder to think what I’d do without them.
I loved the kitty “hang in there, baby” picture. It reminds me of when I was a kid that thought everything was good and anything that redirects me to the 70s is a HUGE plus.
In addition to all that, many many heartfelt thanks for all the warm fuzzies, positive thoughts, prayers, well wishes, everything and the like. I consider you all angels and am grateful that I’ve been granted access to this little slice of heaven.
Here’s my love and eternal praise to those who I’ve known since I’ve been here, recent acquaintances, new members, big cheeses, those who’ve traversed this hell, some I have crushes on and folks I’ve just seen around; you are all friends in my eyes and I respect and admire y’all enormously, forever. So giving recognition where it’s due, I’d like to send a specific shout out to the lot of you, with all my heart…
Ghanima, swampbear, Antinor01, silenus, Caridwen, Autolycus, elbows, Miller, WhyNot, SnakesCatLady, Lynn, Tikki, Nic, groo, AHunter, Quiddity, LemmeOut, LifeOnWry, featherlou, purple haze, Nava, Bites When Provoked, trmatthe, glee, ScareyFaerie, LOUNE, mrklutz, Terrorcotta, Khadaji, ZipperJJ AND, last but never least, Kythereia.
You are the angels in my midst and I appreciate beyond words being given a slice of heaven in the middle of my pain. If anyone ever needs a halo polished, I’m your gal. Just flutter your wings and I’ll be there.
Finally, a bit of levity in all this, my gift to y’all… from one of the ‘cute pets’ links, I give you the baby girl puppy with the enormous schlong. Yeah, my mind stays dirty even when it’s completely fucked up. 
(Work safe, I promise.)
Hugs and love back times infinity,
~Kemi
faithfool, did they tell you that your hormones would go nuts after the hysterectomy? Even with your ovaries left intact, there’s still an affect. So that doesn’t help with the depression either. Hang in there, it does get better. Your body will settle down soon. {{{{{{{{{faithfool}}}}}}}}}
faithfool I have sent you an email with this pic hopefully attached. Please let me know if both have failed to work. Hang tough. It will pass. I spent four months in a hospital looking at the ceiling following a wreak that took my leg and kept remembering “This too shall pass”.
Michael Bolton has a song “On my feet again” that held special meaning and was great help for me at that time. If you don’t have it I’ll find it and get it to you somehow.
Y’know, I gotta say (ok, no I don’t, but I *choose *to say) I hear this a lot, and my usual response (imagine this completely deadpan, no sarcasm at all) “Oh, okay. Well, just hand me your head and we’ll get rid of that for a bit so you won’t suffer.”
My point. So what if it’s in “your head”? That’s like saying, “Wow, this diabetes thing is a bitch, but it’s just all in my pancreas.” or “This abdominal pain is excruciating, but it’s just all in my large intestine.”
Uh…yeah. It’s all in your head. Good to know. Doesn’t mean it’s not real.
Faithfool,
you’re going through a really tough time, yet you give thanks, offer to help others and particularly commiserate with those who are facing real suffering.
This shows you are a thoroughly decent person.
Best wishes,
Glee
Excellent point, Whynot! I’ve never understood why if something’s “all in your head” that makes it less powerful, important or serious…
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Having been depressed twice(I mean clinically) in my life, I know something of what you’re going through. Everyone is different, but for me, the emotional lability was the worst. You can start thinking you’re crazy when you are laughing at something and then crying the very next minute. Having depression sucks the Big One.
Post-partum was like that for me as well, so I imagine that post-hyst would be, too.
My “advice” is to just keep going. Someday, this will end. (the hardest part was believing that). My best to you.
Faithfool, I just wanted to let you know I’m also sending warm thoughts and prayers your way.
I’ve just had a small taste of depression, so I can only glimpse what you must be going through.
I’m pulling for ya’!
Did I already tell everyone how wonderful they are? Well, if not, here I go again… 
TroubleAgain, unfortunately my doctor pretty much only intimated that having the whole works done would be the problem. If that’s not the case though, I’ll definitely ask (beg) her tomorrow to help me out a bit. And the good thing is she knows about my alphabet soup list of psychological problems.
I think I’m falling head over heels for Nic. 'Course you don’t have to worry about me stalking you much, I believe Omicron Persei (especially 8!) is probably terribly far from Greenville, TX. 
However, I just have to let you know how much I loved the R. Crumb cartoon. I’m pretty sure I had a patch like that once upon a time. So, not only have you made me happy with that, but I’m sure I’ll be on eBay before long trying to procure another one.
Oh, and since I’ve just now mentioned my other favorite place to hang out on the web, I’ll definitely be looking for that Michael Bolton song. Thank you for offering to get it for me. That’s just so awesome.
I know WhyNot, trust me. It’s just one of those ‘buttons’ that Shitler knows how to push and I KNOW the reality of the situation. I tell her constantly (when I talk to her that is) there’s no difference among this and any other condition that you can’t help. But it never. sinks. in. I try not to engage or to even care when I find myself already there, but it seems to be ingrained at this point. You can imagine that’s a LOT of what I pay my therapist for.
As to glee, I know absolutely not what to say. So I’ll just leave it with what I’m feeling upon reading that… [ ::: blush ::: ]. Plus the fact that you are a thoroughly lovely person.
eleanor, I can guarantee that I’ll always do my best, no matter what. I can only hope that’s good enough for me to make it.
Thank you too for stopping by InappropriateHumor. Anytime you have a laugh to share over any improper witticisms, I’ll come running.
Again, you’ve gotten through another part of the day. I couldn’t have done it nearly as happily as I have without you all. Please know that as a blessing to me, y’all’ve been perfect. Thank you each and everyone.
All my love and warmest regards,
~Kemi
P.S. Since there’s so many of us here who suffer these sorts of problems, we ought to start an online support group. Anyone think they’d be interested and that’d be a good idea? Now I think I’ll go over and hide in the corner again and just hope I’m not the last one to post in my own thread.
You never need fear that. I’m glad you enjoyed the picture and I know you’ll love the song. Still mists me up here many years later. And thanks for the stalking offer! Haven’t had a good stalk in some time now.
I think it’s a perfectly good idea, although much thought and care needs to be taken into the formation and pragmatics of the group.
In any case, you know I’m always here for you faithfool. If you’re feeling down, never hesitate to shoot me an e-mail.
I just remembered something that helped me focus my mind at times of extreme pain while hospitalized. I had a coulpe of things I’d repeat, like a mantra, that helped a lot.
One of them was the first paragraph of Desiderata and the other was a few lines of a song. I remember you speaking of 70’s stuff and the Desiderata was a poster on the wall of most every hippy pad and head shop I’d been in back then.
I hope we hit on something that helps.
Nic
faithfool, I’m so sorry you’re having to undergo this misery. If it’s practical advice you’d like, I recommend pushing the misery to its limit until you get it out of your system; at least, that’s what usually works for me.
If, however, you’d prefer warm fuzzies from an SDMB pet that’s not a kitten, have a nuzzle from baby Adam. (He always cheers me up!)
Either way, my best thoughts and wishes to you for a speedy recovery.
I would love to participate in an online self-help/support group for people with anxiety. I would not participate in a group that was only support, however, because I know that people can recover from anxiety and I would not settle for anything less than that.
I would be interested.
I just discovered this thread…no idea how I missed it before. Not much else I can say that the other’s haven’t except this: I have fairly severe anxiety and moderate agoraphobia. I prefer to be at home or one of my “safe places” (church, best friend’s house, sister’s house). I haven’t been into a supermarket or mall by myself in years. I’m working on it and I’m getting better, but it isn’t easy. Hang in there we’re all pulling for you!
Everyone again, sincerely, I adore you all. Things today have been hit and miss, mostly because I had to drive an hour away and hang out from noon until 3:00. With the topper of course being that my psychologist had to go out of town for the weekend. I just hope it wasn’t some sort of emergency and rather a trip to Cancun. Anyway, I’m really glad to see all this extra stuff posted here to make the day a bit brighter. Thank you. {{{hugs}}}
Now that’s covered, lemme update the rest:
Nic, I’ve gotten your email and hope to listen to your song later on tonight. I apologize for not having done so sooner, but I’m a wee bit behind on my personal correspondence. And I’d rather hang out here and take my frustrations out on the pit. Oh, and the Desiderata might as well be tattooed on my wrist (hmmmm…) at this point, I’ve relied on that puppy so much for so long. Excellent advice to anyone!
Auto, you’re so sweet and I do promise to take the utmost care if we are allowed to start a group. Will you be able to join us, if so? You don’t have to have anything bothering you to simply listen or offer support. Let me know.
Baby Adam is absolutely freakin’ adorable. Awwwww. If I had him (or one of his kin) to play with me and my puppy, Zen, I don’t think I’d care if anything else was wrong in my world. I so appreciate you sharing. He truly IS balm for the soul. Plus the pushing helps too. I’ve always been a sort of ‘to either extreme’ kind of person anyway.
Duly noted featherlou. You’re right that it’s no good to have the support without the aim of recovery. No matter how fucked up I’ve been, I’m forever (sometimes tentatively and tenuously) praying I’ll get better. So, that’s definitely a high priority, along with just being there for someone when that can’t continue to struggle at that particular moment. Kind of like how they say it isn’t good to diet when you’re not ready because you’ll only end up adding MORE weight. You (generally speaking) have to ‘own’ it first, right? But I know you already understand that and simply want us to be on the same page. I think. 
Girl, I know exactly what you’re talking about with the ‘safe’ places. If I absolutely don’t have to go out alone, I wait to go with my BH **Rhiannon **, and it makes me so pissed and depressed and sad about what my life used to be. So we’re in good company. However, the best part of reading this is to hear you’re improving. That’s beyond awesome!! I know it’ll just keep going up and up. Know too that you’re another one who has now earned a special place in my heart as a result of all this. Which means I need to tell you guys to spread out. There ain’t much room left in there and I’m sure someone is bound to fart.
I hope that a tiny dose of levity is okay. At the moment it’s better than vodka. Ok, not completely, but still.
As to the group or whatever we’ll call it, I’ll email the darling Skipper and make sure all it copacetic. Then, if it’s full steam ahead, I’ll start another thread and we can all brainstorm (hehe) on what to do from here.
I said it before and I’ll do it again, this has meant the world to me and if it’s so wrong to love you lugs, then I don’t wanna be right. Seriously, seraphim on the radar and they all have Doper names. I’m blessed despite it all. Thanks for the millionth time. I just can’t do that enough.
Your friend always,
~Kemi
Be kind to yourself! It is really tough and you must have amazing strength to bear this storm. Keep it up. Just so you know, chocolate really does make you feel better. It stimulates the same receptors that cannabis does. So have great big hunk of chocolate, let it dissolve slowly in your mouth while you sit in a hot bath (or whatever makes you feel good) while you dream of a pleasant place.
Attagirl, faithfool. If you find something that appeals to your sense of humor, dig in. We humans have such sensitive emotions that we need some kind of counterbalance to them - they can so overreact. So oftentimes laughing is the best option to keep you hanging in there. And there’s always ice cream…