Yes, I’d have to agree. I’ve been very fortunate to have a loving family around to ‘take care’ of me when I’ve needed it. That’s one of my biggest fears is somehow having to go through this alone someday.
Hospitalization is probably his best bet at this point, DMark. Does your friend receive disability, either state or SSI? He’s definitely eligible. Does he have a social worker? Can you encourage him to get/find one? Does he go to AA or other 12-step meetings? What about support groups for the mentally ill? NAMI? It sounds like he is pretty isolated at this point, so hospitalization may get him in contact with resources he’s unaware of. He will have to detox and get his alcoholism under control before his depression can be dealt with in any meaningful way.
The most difficult thing about depression is that when you most need to be your best and strongest advocate, you simply don’t have the strength to do so. It’s easier to hope that either things will magically improve or that you’ll die in your sleep/be killed in a freak accident/screw up the courage to suicide.
Thanks, all three of you above, for your kind words.
I didn’t really expect some magic bit of advice as I have been watching this disaster unfold for a few years now and know there really isn’t anything much I can do - especially considering the geographical distance involved.
I have basically tried to be supportive, encourage him to get out, tried to talk him into finding work before it is too late (lost that battle) and now am just trying to be a sounding board.
Sadly, the hospitalization is starting to look like the best alternative for him - thanks for pointing out the obvious and at least I can try to put a good spin on that option for him in the upcoming calls.
I’m sure that you’re using “sadly” in terms that it’s sad that his state has deteriorated this far and not “sadly” that this is an option.
Hospitalization can help many people. I really hope it does help him. It really is sad, and I wish I could get my brother to go into a hospitial.