Ask the Diplomat!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Sitnam: No command of a foreign language is required to pass the test but as most people who speak more than one foreign language have spent time out of the country and have a demonstrated interest in foreign affairs, more people who speak several languages tend to pass the test. It’s a viscious circle. There’s about 10k serving FSOs worldwide, so while it’s small compared to the military it’s still a large organization. Long-term training in DC is rare and usualy means you’re learning a superhard language --Russian, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese.
50 hour workdays? Pfft. Maybe after the tsunami or on the run-up to a big event or visit. Here, I work 8-5, have almost no entertaining responsibilities, and can leave the job at the office. In Colombo, I worked about the same but did 3-4 cocktail parties at night and on the weekends. The compensation is roughly competitive with private sector employers and people with a B.A. degree and a few years work experience can expect to make 40-65k upon joining. Plus they pay for your housing and utilities, trips to and from the post, and if you’re in a designated R&R post, you and your family gets either a RT ticket to the R&R point or you can cost construct and go anywhere you want.

Elendil’s Heir: Fujimori, or "El Chino"as he’s still known here, is under house arrest in Chile after trying to return to Peru last year so he could run in the Presidential elections. Silly man thought the INTERPOL warrants wouldn’t catch up to him. While his politics were abhorrent, he did manage to capture the head of the Shining Path and bring an end to decades of terrorism. Now his methods left something to be desired, like mass arrests and torture. Personally, I dislike him because his solution to Lima’s transportation woes was to import thousands of two-stroke taxis and bus-vans, making traffic hellish.

Sunspace: Diplomatic licence plates (often called CD plates from the initials from Corps Diplomatique) signify that the owner of the car and usually the passengers have diplomatic imminuty from prosecution. It’s like there’s a little chunk of an embassy driving around. In theory, you could drive on the sidewalk and park on the lawn if you wanted and the cops wouldn’t be able to do anything. In practice, most of us obey enough of the relevant laws to avoid danger and drivre defensively for the rest.

Cyberhwk: In Colombo, in the space of 2 weeks, we went through a Tiger suicide bomber exploding herself in a police station 20 yards away from the Embassy and an anthrax scare. It was tense for a while then calmed down. Every post has evacuation plans in place, some do evacuation drills, but the majority of posts are never evacuated. If we were to evacuate tomorrow, we’d have to evacuate every official American and all the resident Amcits as well. See Beirut last year for how well this worked.

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I haven’t read your earlier thread, so forgive me if you’ve covered this.

Are you required, requested, or encouraged to study the language and culture of the region where you;re posted? I occasionally hear about diplomats who seem to be unaware of the culture they’re posted to, but don’t know how reliable those repoerts are. I’d think it was essential to have at least some training in what you are to deal with, and would expect there to be resources for learning about it made available to diplomats at all levels. What’s the real story? Is there a sort of resident expert who remains at the embassy despite changing personnel to keep an existing expertise?

How big a deal (and how wrenching a change ) is it to go from one posting to a completely different country? Do people tend to stay in countries that are culturally similar, or can you be whisked from, say, Iceland to Thailand?

23

I have a bachelors degree in Mathematics and a decently firm grasp of foreign affairs both historically and currently. Whats the best way to really look into this, I tried before, but as you’ve just proved I was misinformed.

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What do you enjoy most about your job? What do you like least?

In your experience, to what aspects of the U.S. or its policies do foreigners best respond? What gives you the greatest headaches in trying to explain or justify?

What would be your dream posting? For what posting, if any, would you resign rather than be sent there?

Do you socialize much with staffers from other embassies? What’s that like?

Has a foreign intelligence service ever tried to recruit you?

Have you ever personally felt in danger due to your job?

25

Can you decode diplomat-speak for me? I remember hearing somewhere that “full and frank discussions” meant the principals screamed at each other, and that there were similar phrases for “they threw the crockery at each other” and “someone pulled out a knife during the negotiations” :eek:

26

Thanks, False_God. So CD plates merely indicate the status of the owner and occupants of the car? The car itself can still be stopped and searched?

27

Do you ever actually ask someone to pass you the sweet and sour shrimp? :smiley:

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What’s the funniest experience you’ve ever had during work? :slight_smile:

29

What is the “Diplomatic pouch”?
Is it really untouchable by anyone else but the embassy staff?
I’ve heard that it can be anything from an unlocked briefcase to a whole airplane. Who controls what gets sent by the pouch, as opposed to regular channels?

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chappachula: the diplomatic pouch is the official channel between the Embassy and the Department of State in the U.S. There’s classified and unclassified versions. In places like Peru where there’s access to an Army Post Office, the pouch is only used for official communication, mail, packages and equipment. in smaller posts it’s used for all communication from postcards to packages containing metal detectors. The pouch is actually a series of bags, pouches or boxes that can range in size from a large zippered leather envelope to a box/bag large enough to hold a footlocker. It’s not supposed to get opened, touched, looked at funny or breathed on by the host government, and every time it does it’s an international incident. Short answer on who controls it is Diplomatic Security, the State Department’s police force.

Kythereia: well, there was the time I had to explain to a Congressional staffer that maybe pushing money into the hole of the prosthesis worn by a landmine victim wasn’t the most tactful thing to do. or the time I had to ask a visa applicant “And why, sir, did you think it was a good idea to place the monkeys into your pants?”

Spectre: Now that you mention it, I’ve actually asked someone that more than once…

Sunspace: CD plates mean the owner and possibly occupants are protected by diplomatic immunity. Here, I’m supposed to stop if pulled over by the cops, but not to get out or consent to search. As soon as I’m pulled over, I’m supposed to call the Embassy guards and let them know what’s going on so they can send the mobile patrol if necessary.

Typo Knig: crockery–"spirited exchange of views"or “robust negotiations.” Pulled a knife? “Pointed rejoinder with cutting insight.”

Elendil’s Heir: I like the ability to learn about another culture from the inside and the opportunity to meet interesting people in my travels the best. Least? Defending policies I don’t particularly agree with dealing and with our Civil Service boneheads, I mean counterparts, for admin stuff are tied. Foreigners like the U.S.'s openness, lack of internal controls and opportunity. Explaining why the U.S. chooses its friends and battles the way it does give me the most headaches. Dream posting? Deputy Chief of Mission in a large Asian or Latin American post, or Ambassador to a small country. Nightmare posting? The cold countries in Western Europe, Equatorial Africa, Saudi Arabia, and Chennai. I’ve socialized with staffers from other embassies before more, here there’s just no interest. The Brits and Aussies throw the best parties anywhere, and the Canadians can’t hold their liquor. The Nordic country diplomats are insane and hard drinkers, as are the Israelis. Not much contact with the Asian countries here, used to talk to the Japanese and Thais regularly. Nice folks and scary-smart.

I haven’t been recruited that I know of, but the Russian defense attache in my lastpost was convinced I worked for the CIA. Made for interesting conversations. Danger? Lots of times. When I was demining officer, I was in a minefield 2-4 times a month. When I would go on field trips we routinely had to drive through mined territory, no-mans-land, or rebel held areas. It comes with the territory and you learn to deal.

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Sitnam: Take a look in the other thread for pointers and have a gander at careers.state.gov. First step is always taking the written exam, and the state.gov main page links to some preparation/study guides. Register for the test – it’s free, and you can take it as many times as you like.

CalMeacham: You get out of this job what you out into it. Hackneyed but true. People who take an active interest in the politics, language, culture, etc have a better time of it and do a better job. Not every job requires that you know a bunch about the place, but most people do take the time and trouble to learn and experience the country. No resident experts at the Embassy, but the local staff are used to “bungee bosses” who parachute in every 2-3 years, so they act as our institutional memory. Before you go out, you take a course called Area Studies that tries to cover politics, social and cultural stuff. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes meh. You get a suggested reading list which is generally pretty good, and you’re encouraged to socialize with your language instructors at cultural events. I have worked with people who had little to no interest in the country where they were, and it was really sad that they missed that opportunity. Those people tend to be the exception rather than the rule, thankfully.

32

Cal-- hit submit too soon.
As to the level of change, I went from a tiny South Asian country with a simmering civil war and a tsumani to a large Latin American country with large industry and an incredibly diverse ecosyatem where my biggest gripe is the traffic. I’ll be going to Afghanistan, where I fully expect to encounter rocket attacks, Taliban, muhajedeen, Pathan bazaar-rufflers, IEDs, the Hindu Kush and the remenants of the Bamiyan Buddhas. After that I’ll be (hopefully) in Bangkok, which is a huge, sprawling modern city with airconditioned movie theaters and Western shops. I love change and it’s the reason I do this job. Some people spend their careers in just one geographical area --I think that’s boring.

33

Oh, come on, now you have to tell that story… :smiley:

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He wanted to take them as presents for his nephews and thought rather than putting them in his luggage it would be a better idea to strap 4 pygmy marmosets in boxes with airholes to his inner thighs.

And this dude’s the director of operations of the Peruvian equivalent of the FAA. :smack:

I believe he paid 2k USD in fines and did probation for 2 years. We actually had to go to the State Dept legal office to see if smuggling monkeys inside one’s pants was an impediment to visa issuance. Long story short, it is a felony, but not a bad one, he paid his fine and served his time and it was 10 years ago, so, since he was otherwise qualified for the visa, I issued.

The monkeys went to a zoo in Florida and lived long uneventful lives.

35

As an American citizen who lives abroad, I’m never sure what my embassy can do for me. I do drop off my ballots there when I vote, but what else?

Should I register with the embassy? I never have, but I see that I can. What is that for? Given that I’m in a first world, peaceful country, is it worth the bother?

Cheers,
G

36

You are the man. If this works out for me somehow I will never forget you.

37

Q: Have you ever played Mancini’s ‘007 Theme’ in a car with Dip-plates in your assigned country and driven down the road/highway/sidewalk like it was your personal theme music?

“False_God to Central…4 Lexi made improper advances to little Benzy; she defended her honor with great success. Returning to base…”

38

As an American abroad,your embassy takes care of you, but ifyou don’t register, we don’t know you’re there. We handle births and deaths, and everything in between. Voting, federal benefits, passports, etc. While you’re correct that in a first world country it’s less vital to be registered, it’s still important.

Sitnam, no worries. Let us know how it works out.

39

I’m not going to Google that. I’m going to guess that those are guys that wear silk parachute pants, shoes with upturned toes, bare- and barrel-chested, big, black moustaches, and a big old scimitar shoved through a cummerbund-like thing.

Right?

Then again my mind sort of conjured a bizarre python fluffer. I doubt that’s it.

40

Ahem…