Tikki, if ye stowed away, we don’t know yer thar. What say we hire ye anyway.
Say “Arr” to BYS Barmaid Tikki.
Three words, lass: Frying Pan, Fire.
I want ter be the ship’s cat. (Glances at nym) Ship’s dog? Is there such a thing? . . . Let me get back ter ya.
Sea dog? I dunno. Have to think this over.
DD
DesertDog, ye can be the ship’s cat, just stay away from First Mate NoClue and the apples.
Yarr, and while we set course, I be settin’ a curfew to all the crew. Arr, fine, ye can stay up and do…piratey things. I be goin’ to bed. First Mate NoClue, ye be in charge.
Can I be Roger the Cabin Boy?
Aye, Cap’n!
Very well, LOWER THE LIGHTS!
RAISE THE DISCO BALL!
CUE THE MUSIC!
[to the tune of Copa Cabana]
We are the Pirates
Pirates of The Ted
The hottest ship that ever got wet
Oh, we’re the Pirates
The crew of The Ted
Swish’n and cuss’n we always be fuss’n
With a pirate
Don’t fall in love
(Pirates of The Ted)
Come on a board, RogerMatt. Always a party on a pirate ship!
::TAaN arisu ftSP wakes up from rum-induced haze::
Mmmmm… course charting? right… right…aye-aye Cap’n!
::random shuffling of (rum-stained) maps::
Methinks We can start with plundering the ports of Hispaniola and the shipping lanes near the Bermudas (avoiding the Triangle of course), then make our way down through the Straits of Magellan to see whether there’s monsters or Australia, and from there we head north… to FIGI!!
And can someone keep that blasted, scurvy runt of a zombie-monkey out of me bunk, keeps trying to steal me loot it does…
The Copacabana song is all well and good, Matey, and your voice can charm a herring out of a seagull’s gullet, but I prefer a traditional sea shanty. Here is Heart of Oak to send us on our way. (Eek! That had better be the apple you’re holding that I just felt, Tattooie!)
Come cheer up my lads, it’s to glory we steer,
To add something more to this wonderful year.
To honor we call you, as free men, not slaves,
For who are so free as the sons of the waves.
Heart of oak are our ships,
Heart of oak are our men.
We always are ready,
Steady, boys, steady,
We’ll fight and we’ll conquer, again and again.
Our worthy forefathers, let’s give them a cheer,
To climates unknown did courageously steer.
Through oceans to deserts, for freedom they came,
And dying, bequeathed us their freedom and fame.
Hmmm, maybe it was that zombie-monkey…
A thousand devils curse my user-name! I’m as much a of lass as ye be!
::Tries to join the sing-along but can only rembember the words to a different song::
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for meeeeeeeeeee…
Pirate!
Sorry, there. T’was habit from me days as a barmaid.
Sorry, there. T’was habit from me days as a barmaid. Can I buy you a rum?
Roger the Cabin Boy reporting for erotic sigh duty…
yo ho ho and a pitcher of thangria?
I need no historical links, buckos! I learned all my nautical skills by playing Galleons Of Glory many years ago.
since I can’t be Brahe Threepwood the mighty pirate captain, I’d like to be a bosun. Apparently all they do is keep the crew from mutiny by means of whips, chains, and the occasional keelhauling.
Look! A three-headed monkey!
I’m signing on to be a gunner. Keepin’ the powder dry, polishing the brass monkeys, arrr… that’s the life for me.
My pirate name is Mendoza. Mario Mendoza.
I used to be in Yellowbeard’s service, 'fore he was thrown in prison. I c’n tell ya where he buried his treasure, if I could recall… was it stagger, stagger, crawl, crawl; or stagger, roll, roll, crawl?
Squints at Mendoza
Aye! Yellowbeard! Know’d him, I did, when we sailed on the Devastator! I ever tell ya about the time we sunk three ships at once?
I hear them Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when they’re dead!
And a hearty welcome aboard to all the new crew! Apples, anyone? 
Toss me an apple, Arrr!
Good for keepin away the scurvy!