This has potential. You just have to own it.
I always liked Mr. Fahrenheit from Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now”. Only problem is there was an actually Mr. Fahrenheit, though being a physicist, he was likely a doctor – which only sounds cooler!
Never had many nicknames–the only one that stuck is Rat, short for “Ratmonger.” Long story involving my gaming club in college. I like it–to this day, more than 20 years later, most of my gamer geek friends call me Rat or Rattus.
Spoons and I used to work together. He was Conan the Grammarian, I was Punctuation Boy, and our co-worker was Scansion Girl. We had weird tech-writer senses of humour, and should have been a superhero team or something.
My brother’s favourite nickname for me was (and stilll is) “useless” - yeah nice.
At university I was known as (real first name) the vege (At a rural university I was one of the few vegetarians)
If you were to visit my home town and ask for the “Madrabbitwoman” there is a 50/50 chance they could direct you to me. I also go by (dad’s fisrt name/job description) daughter - everyone here knows my dad.
Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you were a girl. I guess it is bad if you’re XX.
My dad has nicknames for all of us, including the family pets:
Oldest Sister- Special. Possibly having to do with the fact that she’s autistic. He hasn’t used it in years.
Me- Treasure. Also T for short. Also O And O (for One and Only). It’s a tossup whether he’ll use my name or nickname.
Younger Brother: Precious. Fortunately for Bro’s sake, he hasn’t used it in years.
Youngest Brother: Cool Guy. Nine times out of ten, he’ll call for “Cool”.
The cats: Mystery is Squeaky. Tikva is Tickles. He will not admit the existance of their real names. It’s always Squeaky and Tikcles.
ETA: “Moose” says he got the name because his fellow campers were “Goose” and “Zeus”. He is not, I should add, moose-like in any way.
I’ve never had a nickname that stuck either. I had one coworker back in Ontario that called me Ed, when he realised that would be my initials if I took my husband’s name (which I didn’t do), and I liked that, but he was the only one to use it and I don’t see him anymore.
My father calls all three of us kids “Blue eyes”, but that’s just at home. It’s actually confusing, because no one knows who he’s talking to when he says that.
My husband went by his last name (I’m not gonna post it, as it’s distinctive) during most of his undergrad, as his first name is French and Ontarians had trouble with it, despite the fact that he is fine with the English equivalent name and uses it when he knows people don’t speak French. He also responds to diminutives of his first name, but they are rather obvious.
We just aren’t nickname people, I guess.
I understand it less with the explanation than without.
I’ve been called “bear” a couple of times in my life, but no one currently uses it. I expect because I’m bug and grumpy.
And the eternal “Jimbo” – meh.
Where I work we sometimes deal with a customer called “Aaron” who insists on being called “Ace”.
Always makes me think of Red Dwarf - Ace Rimmer / Ace Hole.
A Bad nickname.
Bad - We have a couple of friends who nicknamed themselves Scum Bag and Crud (and had their license plates vanitized!!!). We’ve since gotten them to back off the names. They’re just all kinds of wrong.
Good - I am Kalhoun in real life because Crud just met me and ordered a prescription and couldn’t remember my name. He told the pharmacist he thought my name was Kalhoun.
YAY!
I have a reason to tell a story I heard this weekend.
At my friends cottage at a blue collar lake, which is refered to by the weekenders as White Trash Utopia… If you live on the lake ( either full time or summer time) you have more money than the townies. The townies are mostly inbred alcoholics of the very scary kind. You can buy a ‘house’ on any of the sidestreets ranging in price from $20k to about $50k. The guy that lived in the battered mobile home built in the sixties next door to a friend was referred to as Grilled Jamie.
Jamie, it seems was a stoner. On any day above 50 degrees, it was said you could get a contact high from the open windows from Jamie’s aluminum castle.
A stoner with some heart problems.
He had a heart attack over the stove and died, chest down, atop it.
It was a week before anyone realized he was dead. (Apparently the stove top was on warm or something, as the place didn’t catch on fire.)
His nickname and the bong fumes still live on in the neighborhood.
Salad-shooter - For the vegetarian girl with the weak stomach.
DA - “Why do you always call me District Attorney?” “Because you’re a Dumb Ass!”
Incubator - Because I make the chicks hot!
Good - well, WordMan, mostly. I got it in high school when the movie **Eddie and the Cruisers **came and the Eddie character nicknamed the keyboardist WordMan because he wrote the lyrics to Eddie’s songs. And since I talk waaaay too much, it stuck easily. I have one friend who refers to me a “Verb” as in “verbiage” for the same reason…
Bad - **Panda **or Panda Punk. As a kid I had to wear an over-the-head headgear as part of my braces/jaw alignment stuff. Well, my mom made me take a shower at night at the time, so I would have wet hair THEN put on the headgear, THEN sleep on it all night. So my hair dried with the headgear’s strap marks, like, embedded in place. And given how the straps were designed, it looked like I had ears. Hence, Panda. Stopped when I got the braces off, thank Og…
Plenty of play on my last name, but nothing really stuck over time…
Good: Yeti
Better: Yeticus
Best: Yeticus Rex
Kinda evolved over the years…ever since my high school ski club saw me skiing down the slopes in the middle of a blizzard.
The only nickname I’ve ever been called with regularity is “Boonie”, which is just an easy-to-pronounce word made with the first syllable of my difficult Czechoslovakian last name. Meh, it works.
Edit: I just thought of something I should include: before my grandmother died, she had a friend named Avery. Avery was a crusty, funny old guy who gave nicknames to everyone. I was “Junior”. My cousin Gail was “Blondie”. My uncle was “Farmer Boy”. My cousin Dawn, for some strange reason, was “Dawna-Marear”. There were more that I’ve forgotten…
When I was a kid, I loved hamburgers, like a lot of kids. But I guess I was something of an outlier, even among hamburger-obsessed pre-teens. I really don’t remember, except that I looooved burgers. Anyway, a kindly old family friend started calling me Hamburger. My mom and I would drop in to say hi to him, and he’d smile at me and say, “How you doin’, Hamburger?” That memory makes me smile. A good nickname.
These days, I’ve amended my carnivorous habits, and I haven’t had a hamburger in some years. So, Hamburger would be a pretty bad nickname for me now. And Veggieburger won’t do at all. Alas, I am nicknameless.
My friends back in the US refer to me “The Dutchess” - which wraps up the fact that I’m Dutch and lived in SilverSpring at the time…some also claimed it tied i with my sometimes arrogant standoffish behavior but I don’t see that 
My friends is Germany refer to me a Frau Antje…
In college, one of the guys next door had the same name as me. Since I’m kind of odd, he ended up being “Normal” and I ended up being “Crazy”. His didn’t stick, but mine did, at least for that crowd of college friends.
I also got nicknamed “bloody nuts” for reasons that have nothing to do with blood or testicles.
As long as I can remember I, and my father before me, and as far as I know, his fathers back into the mists of time, have been called “Upde.” It’s a pretty obvious play and shortening of my surname.
However, decades ago as an army lawyer I was doing walk-in legal assistance and a lady came in for a repeat visit who could not remember my name. She asked to see “the big captain with all the teeth.” Some of our enlisted people took to calling me “Captain Teeth.” I never quite knew how to take that.
My uncle went through the service as “Maple Ass” because of some a typing error that transposed two letters in his name.