I think I am a very lucky person. I was born in 20th century USA at a time of great prosperity to loving parents who encouraged my talent for math and science.
At my job, which I enjoy, and for which I am highly paid, I have been lucky enough to have been working on critical projects exactly at the times of major layoffs, so that I’ve survived so many rounds of layoffs over the years that I can’t even remember them all. Of course some of that is due to my own good work ethic and work skills, but I can’t discount luck.
After years of nothing, I was finally lucky enough to meet, and then marry, the woman of my dreams. Believe me, luck played a BIG part of that part of my life.
I’m fortunate to have been born at this time and place, but I don’t believe in luck as such. It seems like the people I’ve known who do (believe in luck) also take chances (to test their “luck”) and make bad decisions, and blame the inevitable negative outcomes on “bad luck.” Most of the people I’ve know who consider themselves unlucky (like my brother) are pessimistic people who blame the results of bad decisions on bad luck.
What about those of us who do believe in luck (to a degree), and believe that their lives are full of good things both because they have made good decisions and because they have had good luck?
I don’t believe in a supernatural force that affects my life in one way or another, but I was “lucky” enough to be born Western, white, middle-class, and male. I figure I was doing better than 99% of the rest of the world from the moment I was born. Since then, things have been looking up.
I don’t really believe in luck, but I AM one of those people who always seems to have some shit happen. It’s never disastrous or anything like that. It’s just like, get a car, something awful happens to it. Finally scrape up the money for a digital converter and the TV goes out. Tried for years to have a baby when I was married and in a financially stable situation…got pregnant years later after one slipped condom with a guy I’d only gone out with a few times. Find my dream man, turns out he’s an illegal immigrant.
It’s always two steps forward, one step back.
I suppose I’m lucky it’s not worse. It’s just life.
No, seriously. As a child, my parents used to say, “things generally turn out for the best.” it wasn’t until I was older that I realized the reason that was true was because I was taught to look for that silver lining, the opportunity that I had been given, a chance to potentially follow a path least travelled. Because I was raised that wAy, I believe that I can see opportunities that others don’t necessarily see or realise.
I am both extremely lucky and extremely unlucky. I was extremely unlucky in terms of the ‘‘lottery of birth’’ as it were–suffered multiple traumas in childhood, the sort of family life that makes even the most seasoned therapists do a double-take. And I’m not so hot in the mental health/physical health category either–I got a hernia at age 15 for chrissake, and I’m allergic to the sun. The goddamn sun. If a medication bottle says, ‘‘Only 1 in 2,000 people experience X side-effect’’–guess who’s gonna experience X side-effect?
But then there is… well, the fact that I get what I want way more often than it seems probable. I don’t really deserve it or even necessarily work that hard to get it, it just sort of falls in my lap.
I am a grad student who has always had a dual passion for immigrant social justice and mental health advocacy. Last year I discovered the concept of policy analysis and fell madly in love. Life just seems to be lining me up for a specific purpose. So here is a summary of my life goal: to do program/policy research and evaluation for Latino immigrants in need of behavioral mental health services.
This is like the ‘‘dream job,’’ right? Isn’t it cute how I have all these ideal scenarios plotted out? Don’t worry–it’s not like I think I’m ever going to find something that specific to my interests.
Oh, did I mention I recently went in for my interview for my 2nd year field placement? They had no idea what my goals were and I had no idea what their organization really did. Total double-blind situation.
Guess what they were desperately hoping I would be willing to do next year?
If you said, ‘‘Work in policy and program evaluation for a community-based Latino organization in the department of behavioral mental health,’’ congratulations, you’re catching on.
I mean how often does it happen that the exact thing you’re looking for is the exact thing you get to do? If you’re me, the answer is… all the fucking time. Welcome to my bizarrely blessed life.
P.S. And another thing – the love of my life fell into my lap when I was 19 years old. People who say marriage is hard work? No idea what you’re talking about.
I don’t deny that those people exist, but my life’s experience leads me to believe that most people who believe their lot in life is determined by luck have pessimistic outlooks and blame their problems on “bad luck.”
It’s possible of course, that I have actually been very lucky, but attribute my situation to smart decisions and hard work when really I just got a good roll.
My friend was joking with me the other day at the bank. I was making a deposit from my unemployment benefits and he (sarcastically) started talking about some aspect of him being happy about the dot com crash back in the day.
I gave him a (not so) brief retort: I was a victim of the dot com crash. After I got out of the army, I got into a dot com. Made lots of money and then spent it all.
Then I got into Real Estate. It was good for a while and then the market crashed. Woo.
Then I got into construction. My boss and I had a conversation during a period of company layoffs where he basically gave the “construction is a good indicator of the economy. You have a job so that means we recognize you’re doing good work” kind of speech. Two months later I got laid off.
I’m not trying to screw anybody over. I don’t murder, steal or cheat more than anybody else, so why can’t I get a break?
I know this sounds more like whining, but the point is that I try to grab onto a ride leading to the brass ring but the ride usually breaks. A different friend of mine says that I’ve got the “black cat bone” in me somewhere.
Wow. Who’d I piss off in a past life?
You guys make me sound cynical, but I guess that’s not my problem
I would say that I have “bad luck”, but I am also very optimistic, in general. I believe that everything will work out and happens for a reason, but my sisters (ahem, kkrose) still won’t stand in the same grocery store line as me, because they don’t want to wait for the price check or counting of pennies that will inevitably happen with the person in front of me. If anything, my bad luck has taught me to take things in stride and not let the little things bother me.
There’s a famous 19C quote by Cecil Rhodes along these lines, where he said “Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life.”
This wasn’t an arrogant statement, but a sharp reminder to a compatriot that he was damn lucky and shouldn’t forget it.
I was born a healthy, middle class, white woman in a first world country to kind, hard working parents who nurtured rather than abused me. They gave me a good education, which has enabled me to live a comfortable, stimulating life. And I’m a gay woman living in a tolerant country that respects me and grants me rights and protections.
See again I see this as decision making advantages. Say there are two grocery lines, one has a little old lady, by herself with a bunch of bananas and a loaf of bread; the other line has a mother with three children and about cart half full of various groceries. Which line do you get in? Knowing you, heraldgwena, as I do, you would get in the line with the little old lady because she had less items, and call it bad luck when she starts digging change out of her purse to pay for her groceries. Me, I would get in the line with the mother and three children because, most likely, a mother who has three children with her in a grocery store has her shit together and wants to get out of there as soon as possible. She will pay with a card and push through the line with few questions or comments to the cashier in order to get out of the store quickly. The little old lady has gotten to the age where she realizes she has time and it is not worth it to rush through life. She takes her sweet time without worrying about who she may be slowing down. Again, not luck, decisions.
If that were what happened, I might agree. However, I am well aware of how to assess the likely speed of a line, but, with my luck, the mother of three will have an item that requires a price check. Your decision making process doesn’t fly when we get in the same line and something happens and you ask me to get in the next line. If you don’t believe my luck has anything to do with it, then why would you ask me to do that?
I believe that my life is governed by a perverse kind of Newton’s First Law of metaphysics. For every good fortune I’ve received, I’ve been granted equal misfortune.
However it doesn’t quite balance out for me. Since I have, in many ways, been very fortunate, a karmic debt is incurred: I *deserve *the bad luck, perhaps more than the good, which I didn’t earn.
Does it make me feel angry, sad, regretful? Sure, but I deserve that, too.
