Apparently goatfinder sees it fit to offer goat rentals.
Tee hee. Goat rentals.
I’ve got 5 of the spawn of Satan.
The main things are:
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Worms. Goats have no natural resistance to intestinal worms, so need drenching regularly.
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Feet. Unless your goat is walking on hard surfaces, it’s hooves will grow. They need trimming, in my case 3 or 4 times a year. That’s not a hardship as I get to roll on the ground with a cute, friendly female vet. YMMV
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Sex. Billy goats stink for 4 months of the year. Nannies bleat while on heat. Two billys together will bunt themselves silly.
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Escapes. You need good fences. May not help as the neighbours watched a nanny “bounce” over a 4’ fence. Once out, a goat will make for the most valuable object not belonging to you and eat it. Especially a neighbour’s driveway lined with 50 rose bushes.
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Feed. They need adequate feed. Some grass, but lot’s of roughage too. During feed pinches, some bagged feed (aka goat crack) is required. Some plants are poisonous to them, lilies for example.
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Damage. They will ringbark trees, as well as trimming all lower branches. Anything belonging to an irate neighbour is fair game too.
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Evilness. Yes they look cute, but inside they are thinking the same thoughts as a 4 y.o. girl. Billys will rear up and challenge you, they all will bunt you from behind without warning. While feeding one a handful of goat crack, the others will be chewing your clothes, opening the ice cream container full of goat nuts, or just plain trying to knock you or their herdmate over.
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Horns. They are sharp and dangerous. I’ve come very close to losing an eye. They can also get their head stuck somewhere and need rescuing.
My neighbour had a rose garden. I second that goats are fucking evil bastards*. Round here, they are free for all the reasons mentioned above.
- I still miss being play-butted and giving a head rub and seeing a furiously wagging tail in return, even if he did eat my house.
Six squid.
Man, your four-year-old must be a handful :eek: Mine is just a picky eater.
Before getting a goat, it would be a good idea to see if you can get veterinary care locally. In my area, the large animal vets do not do farm calls for small ruminants. I do see small ruminants, but only as “pet animals”. So, to disbud a goat, a large animal vet typically uses no/minimal anesthesia and charges $30 - $50 per animal. In my office, I use anesthesia and sterile technique and charge $125 - $175 (varies by weight).
Castration, done in the field by a large animal vet the cost is minimal. Done in my practice, charge is roughly $180.
I second or third the “goats are mean little bastards” opinion. I had a pygmy goat that was just cute as a button. Trickery!
His name was Taz. He would get jealous of my toddler and knock her down. He followed me around the outside of the house when I planted begonias and uprooted and ate every damn one. He alternately bit my ass or knocked me on it. He shat on the porch, he cried like a colicky baby, he kicked the turkeys (don’t ask) and ate my purse.
I gave him to the old folks home. Sometimes I feel a little guilty, but I’m not sure if it’s because Taz might have broken one of their hips or the old folks might have eaten him.
But damn he was cute…
What to expect:
And if things don’t work out:
Dynamitedave, are they better if neutered/spayed/whatever they call “fixed” goats?
Did you hear about the nanny goat who never got pregnant?
She was under the whether.
Six squid = six quid.
ETA: altho wouldn’t it work better if it had been said “Sick squid.”
30+ posts and not a mention of Felching.
C’mon people, what is the matter with y’all
I want a fainting goat!!
I’m not a parent, so that’s my default view. 
The only full-on experience with children I’ve had is with the other neighbour’s 4 y.o. girl. Not sure if all kids (human) are like that or if she’s got 666 marked on her somewhere. Sorry to tar them all with the same brush 
The billy got de-knacked after several breeding seasons. Now he doesn’t stink, but he has “learned behaviour” So he does everything he used to do, without the end result.
The other boy goat is 2 now. He was fixed soon after birth and hasn’t displayed any interest in any dominance games or breeding. I’m not sure how goat society works; whether there can be only one dominate male in a herd, or if duties can be shared. He’s still a mummy’s boy, cries if separated from her. She, up to a point, shares her feedbowl with him. She won’t share with any of the others.
I don’t know if nannies can be spayed. I guess so, but it’d be a major operation with it’s attendant risks and cost.
Goat’s, like most herd animals only call to warn/inform the others. So it’s a bit disconcerting to to hear calls, with no obvious sign of danger. The first time it happened I was looking for what’s wrong; no stray dog about, all the others are ok. Then a close study of the nanny revealed she was on heat, and everything clicked :smack:
As noted, goats are very cheap animals. You may be able to find one for free but a generic type goat should always be less than $100 all inclusive. The thing about goats is that that they are extremely stupid but they have personality and they are eccentric. In contrast, sheep are just just plain stupid. When I was little, we had a homely goat named William that would come into the house, sit on the couch, watch TV, and eat popcorn with us (when my mother wasn’t home). However, they really will eat just about anything so you can’t have prized plants around them. Goats are like the freshman frat brother that destroyed his brains out on drugs early on and then became a stupid one trick pony that people still like to have around. They are fun to wrestle with too. A really stupid ram will keep going all day even if it loses every single time.
That’s so cool, I would be one happy little leprechaun if I could have something like that, but I suspect that if I ever did something like that my goat and I would be soon sharing the same accomodations, and they ain’t likely to include a couch or a tv or even popcorn ever again. Also with my luck the goat would fall in love with programming aimed at their level of intelligence and I’d be stuck watching VH1for the rest of my life.
I don’t know how many others got a laugh out of this one, but - dumb joke or not - I surely did. Of course, these days few people know the proper agricultural terms, so for them it’s obscure. Note to the curious: Look up wether, not whether.
Thanks for the laugh!
[quote=“dynamitedave, post:22, topic:468262”]
snip—
7) Evilness. Yes they look cute, but inside they are thinking the same thoughts as a 4 y.o. girl. Billys will rear up and challenge you, they all will bunt you from behind without warning. While feeding one a handful of goat crack, the others will be chewing your clothes, opening the ice cream container full of goat nuts, or just plain trying to knock you or their herdmate over.
----snip/QUOTE]
You do NOT want a billy unless you are able to confine it or it is for quick food disposal (you are going to eat it fast). My parents have many goats and I have worked with them on and off for years.
There is a reason male goats are associated with the demonic- they are in rut and smell like fish emulsion for a large part of the year. Imagine dropping rotten fish into a blender and rubbing over the majority of their bodies and you have a pretty good idea. Stripping down entirely and showering with Dr Brauner’s or something as strong is about the only solution if they rub you.
They also are rather violent and I have seen billy’s actually rape each other with full penetration. They also like to pee on their faces and mouths and anything else that gets near.
But nanny goats are quite nice, if a little loopy.
Sign seen at the exit of a petting zoo:
“Even pigs wash their hands after petting a goat.”