You would’ve hated my dad. He was a rather quiet and reserved kinda guy, but when he sneezed, hoo boy! AAAAAAASHAAAAAAAAAAH!
It seemed to embarrass him. I don’t think he could do anything about it.
I’m a quiet sneezer (is that a word?) due to suffering through my Old Man’s sneezes. He has a twenty second wind up then lets go with **WHEE-CHAA! **every time. Not so bad at home but in public or a crowded car it can be a little much. It’s like Arrested Development “Has anyone in this family ever seen a [del]chicken[/del] normal sneeze?” It still cracks my sister up if I say “whee-cha”, so the humor is a good trade off.
I grew up in the countryside and pollens were active. It’s a natural body function. I can’t help that some of my sneezes are really loud and I don’t apologize for them. Granted, one should cover the spray with hands or sneeze into your arm.
Whilst I can sneeze out a really loud “aaaaahhhhhh shit” I rarely do these days.
I once had a cow-orker who had a really loud sneeze. She claimed it was impossible for her to do otherwise. However, one evening I was working late, and happened to notice her walking nearby. She didn’t see me. She sneezed, very quietly.
My name is elmwood, and I’m a loud sneezer.
“Hi elmwood! Fuck you!”
Sorry, but I’ve tried to control it. I really have to work on it to sneeze with anything that’s less intense than this.
Growing up in a mostly Catholic city, I was amazed at how Catholic girls could sneeze so quietly. They’d have a dramatic leadup to what most observers would think be a Category 5 sneeze, only to let loose with a quiet squeak, How the hell did they do that?
soul preservation techniques.
Guilty. I cover up with the crook of my elbow or a handkerchief, and I don’t think I vocalize (mine tend to sound like a really loud SPLAT), but people still stick their heads out of their offices and look down the hall to see what just exploded.
Ooh, I hope not. Cause you wanna know how I cured my daughter of scream-sneezing? I told her to knock it the *fuck *off.
Now, seven years later,she still sneezes like a librarian.
I used to have a co-worker on the other side of my cube wall who not only had a loud sneeze (and usually multiples), but felt the need to put his whole body into it. I never saw exactly what was happening, but I assume he leaned back and then threw himself forward. I assume this because I would always hear his feet slam on the floor, too. He was a weird guy, though, so I cut him slack, and he’s been gone for a couple years now, too.
I’m a loud sneezer. I do apologize for my loud sneezes. I definitely cover my nose and mouth and, when in close proximity to others, also turn my head to the best available direction. But my sneezes are still louder than they need to be.
Here’s my explanation.
I’m middle-aged and years ago I wondered, why do I sneeze loudly? After pondering this I realized my loud sneezes are because I involuntarily redirect the force of my sneeze through my throat instead of my nose. Sort of defeats the purpose of the body’s need to rid an irritant from the nose, doesn’t it?
The noise you hear in my loud sneeze is caused by my vocal chords. For some reason, I’ve “learned” to yell while sneezing. It’s now an involuntary part of my sneezes. I’ve observed many others, and this is what’s happening with them, too.
Why do I do this? My best guess is because as a kid I suffered from terrible hay fevers and seasonal allergies. This is what must’ve happened. Sitting in class, 2nd or 3rd or 4th grade, sneezing constantly, I didn’t carry a hanky or tissues (I was a kid, that’s my excuse), and redirecting my sneezes helped my sneezes to be less messy - if I didn’t do that, I’d end up with a very messy sneeze.
At that point, with mega snots hanging out my nose and mouth, it was a little awkward to raise my hand and ask the teacher if I could get up and go to the bathroom. If you don’t have bad allergies, you may not know how bad it can be. The word histamines might mean nothing to you. But sneezes can get really messy!
So I must have learned to redirect my sneezes to make them less messy, and I’ve been doing it for so many years now that I don’t think I can unlearn that now-involuntary reaction. Because of this thread, I’ll consider trying that. I learned how to do it, so I should be able to relearn the correct way, right? As they say, it’s hard to teach an old dog a new trick. We’ll see.
Sorry for my loud sneezes! I know some can be quite loud.
The worst is when you have a mouthful of food you can’t swallow easily and feel a freight-train sneeze coming on. Bonus points for no napkin or tissue handy 
A former coworker of mine is the most annoying sneezer I ever met. The first time she sneezed I nearly jumped through the roof as she did the finger under the nose thing, then doubled over while yelling HACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! loud enough to be heard on the other end of the sales floor.
I understand if it’s a loud sneeze because you couldn’t help it. But there’s a bitch at work who yelps like a wounded dog every time she sneezes, you could hear it a half-mile away given a good tailwind. Sneeze as loud as you have to, but for GOD’S SAKE don’t fucking vocalize because it makes me stabby.
I completely agree. Some loud sneezes are just egregiously awful. My coworker, who has some pretty fierce allergies, has the most annoying sneeze I’ve ever heard.
See, he can’t just sneeze and get it over with. He chokes it off at the end with a hard stop, and then stutters out the rest of the sneeze. At top volume.
“ahhhhhhh-CHUNNCK! UCK! UCK! UCK!”
As a loud sneezer, I can tell you: some of us can’t help it. Go pound sand.
Loud sneezers don’t bother me as much as loud yawners.
In my warm, rich culture, loud sneezing is a time-honored custom that dates back centuries. Loud sneezing is considered a sign of virility and strength, and during meals, a complement to the cook on the spiciness of the food they so lovingly prepared.
I am a loud sneezer and even I find myself annoying.
I know, you guys think I should just stop it then. I have tried. Whenever I sneeze quietly, I hurt my back and give myself a headache. So, unless you are going to retrain me, I am afraid you are stuck with it.
I sneeze loud. If you try to minimize the noise you minimize the effectiveness. I won’t cover my sneeze cause if you do, your eyes will pop out. I’ll try to aim it away from people and even use my hand as a deflector. But would it really make you happy if I sneeze into my hand and then shook your hand?
Wow, thank you! I had forgotten all about this.
THERE IS NO REASON TO VOCALIZE WHEN YOU YAWN! Why do people do that? And the loud ones. Dear lord.
I mean, there’s no reason to vocalize when you sneeze either, as evidenced by nature and the tons of people who don’t. But I guess I can kind of forgive people who swear they can’t help it.
But loud yawning? Are you trying to show off how tired or bored you are? Ridiculous.
I put both my hands over my mouth, and they can hear me at the other end of the office.
I cant help how loud it is. It is an involuntary response