Too bad they didn’t have PETA in ancient Roman days. They would have insisted that people run into the battle on fire instead of innocent animals…
Sick.
Funny, but sick.
I’m so proud of you!
Thanks - that was a glaring mistake on my part. But maybe, just maybe, the concept of porcine projectiles carried over into the twelfth century . . .
It seems there is a certain lack of empirical evidence here. I mean, how do we know elephants are afraid of flying, flaming, screaming pigs? I think we have a subject for the Straight Dope Kitchens here. Cecil, are you out there?
Hmmm… this thread suggests to me an enhancement I can make to my poodle gun.
I thought that the SDMB Orbital Goat Cannon was the zenith of barnyard munitions, but it appears that conclusion was premature.
Is that a cannon to shoot at goats who happen to be in orbit? Or, a cannon in orbit using a goat as a projectile? Or, a cannon wielded by a goat in orbit? Or, a cannon that shoots a goat into orbit? Or, an orbitting cannon that shoots at goats in general?
We must know!
I think it’s like a Paris Gun, only bigger, it shoots the goat into a into a low quasi-orbit and drops the goat onto the target across the globe. To handle the heat of the blast and re-entry, they’re bred to produce steel wool. The research program was sponsored by the S.O.S. company, IIRC. When the goat lands, it eats the labels off all the tin cans so that nobody can plan a meal.
Silly of you to think that. Humans have never been satisfied with state-of-the-art munitions. Arms Race, my friend, Arms Race.
Mmmmm…ordnance…
I love the smell of flaming pigs in the morning.
Relax. It’s just a 1720’s style dea…
Nevermind.
I can build a trebuchet or an onager.
I can buy a pig.
Letting it slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of God within the boundaries of the great state of Minnesota… well.
I could probably argue that if the pig were encased in a protective delivery system (Porcine Integrated Gyroscopic System, or P.I.G.S.) with redundant safety mechanisms, it would not result in pain, suffering or death, but the problem remains of setting the pig on fire — the essential means of guaranteeing a squeal according to our ancient commentators — and even I have to admit that this is a stickier point.
And we haven’t even discussed where we’re going to get an African war elephant.
Ideas?
[sub]And yes, of course I’m kidding. Please do not try to do this at home, and obey all laws and ordinances in your jurisdiction. All models over eighteen years of age.[/sub]
The key words in the law cited are unnecessary and unjustifiable. I, for one, think pursuing this line of historical research is justifiable and necessary! We must have answers!
Mine not to make reply,
Mine not to reason why,
Mine but to make pigs fly.
Build the trebucht in the parking lot of your local zoo. Aim towards the elephant exhibit. Repeat until success or the police arrest you.
Or the beer runs out.
Saayyy…
Shooting flaming pigs…at… :ahem: police?
I think I just earned my redneck renaissance geek award.
Yup. Ask them out in 443 BC and they have to say yes.
Is that a standard goat or a spider goat?