Adams 1:1 - Thine Answer is 42
Addams 13:13 - I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels, but for the way the sound of her name would silence my demons.
Sauron 9:1 - One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them
From the Book of Clerks Chapter 7 Verses 1-20
[ol]
[li]And it happened that an evil lay over the country, so that the Fields were stricken with a drought, and the Cattle with a murrain, and the Economy was sore beset,[/li]
[li]So that the People were afraid, and went up to the ruler and his chief Ministers, and said, Give us a Plan to save us from the evils of Recession, and of Unemployment,[/li]
[li]And the ruler said unto the wisest of his Ministers, Go and labour with your servants, and bring forth a Plan that will be goodly in my sight, and in the sight of my Ministers, and of the People, and will save the Economy,[/li]
[li]And the Minister, coming to the place where he was powerful, called together all of his Senior Management, and all the rest of his servants, yea, even unto the least Admin Assistant, and said unto them, Bring me a Plan.[/li]
[li]Then did Senior Management, and the Advisors, and the Consultants, and the Analysts, and all of the divers Admin Assistants, even unto the least, labour for six months, and on the seventh they rested, and brought the Draft Plan to the Minister,[/li][li]And he said, asking of them, By what token can it be known that this is a wise Plan, and will save the Economy, and be goodly in the eyes of the People,[/li]
[li]And Senior Management, and the Advisors, and the Consultants, and the Analysts, and all of the divers Admin Assistants wondered amongst themselves, and spoke not, for they knew not the answer,[/li]
[li]And then the Deputy Minister, who was the chiefest of those in Senior Management, spake, saying, We shall show it to the Employees, for they labour amongst the People, and have not Perks, and suffer the evils of the Economy, and they shall provide us with Comments, and therefore will we know of its goodness,[/li]
[li]And the Minister said, Let it be done.[/li]
[li]So the Advisors, and the Consultants, and the Analysts, and all of the divers Admin Assistants went forth, and they made of the Draft Plan a Desk Drop, and an E-mail Attachment, and they said unto the Employees, Read of this Plan, and judge it, and give unto us your Comments, that we shall know whether the Plan is good.[/li]
[li]Then did the Employees read the Desk Drops, and print out the Attachments, and they judged the Plan, and they filed it in the Blue Bin,[/li]
[li]And the Employees went unto the Supervisors, and they spake, saying, The Plan is a real Crock of Shit and should be thrown out.[/li]
[li]And the Supervisors went unto the Managers saying, We have reviewed the Comments, and they say, The Plan is truly a Container of Manure and should be put outside,[/li]
[li]And the Managers went unto the Directors, saying, We have analysed the Comments, and they say, The Plan is a Vessel of potent Fertiliser, and should be placed out of doors,[/li]
[li]And the Directors went unto the Senior Directors and said, The Plan contains strong elements which aid Plant Growth, and should be put in the Fields,[/li]
[li]And the Senior Directors went unto the Deputy Minister, saying, The Plan is full of that which greatly promotes Growth, and should be taken and spread over the Fields,[/li]
[li]And the Deputy Minister went unto the Minister, and he said, Truly, it can be stated that the Plan will strongly promote Growth in the Economy, and will create many Jobs in the Transport and Agri-Food sectors,[/li]
[li]And the Minister saw that the Plan was good, and he spake, saying, Let it become Policy, and it was no longer a Draft,[/li]
[li]And he took it unto the ruler and his chief Ministers, and they were Advised, and they held an Opinion Poll, and they saw it would be goodly in the eyes of the People, and the ruler stretched forth his hands, and blessed the Plan, and said, Let it be so!,[/li]
[li]And Lo!, the Plan became Program, and brought forth Budget, and staffing increases, and all manner of goodly things.[/li][/ol]
I always loved this one.
23 And saw there arose a great demon in that land. He had much wealth and his clothes and buildings were of great richness. 24 And ties of silk were around his neck and his hair was such as could not be described. And on his head was written Make Great Again. 25 And his tongue was of fire and from his mouth spewed many unholy things, and the people of the land were sore afflicted by him.
26 For he didst speak against the people that came from the South, and against the people that came from the middle of the East, and against the women and against the men, and against the young and against the old, and against the poor and against the rich. 27 And the more that he didst speak against them, the more didst many gather round him and say, By you shall we become great again.
28 And then I beheld a great whore, and she didst vexeth many. For she didst hid many things. Yeah even three times ten thousand things didst she hide from that which serves. And she didst say, I have hidden no thing. And she didst say, I have hidden things, but not that which was secret. 29 And she didst say, I have hidden what is secret, but not that which was top secret. And she didst say, I hidden that which was top secret, but it was not labeled as top secret whenst I did hide it. And she didst deceiveth no one.
30 And there was a Man of Gold in the land. And verily she didst say unto the Gold Man, I Shall Speakest to Thee, and Thou shall pay me well. 31 And three times didst she speak unto the Gold Man, and the Gold Man didst pay her with many pieces of silver. 32 And what she said unto the Gold Man no one knew, for that too she kept secret.
33 Then came another from the North, and his name was Cruz. And he didst say to the multitudes, In the Middle of the East, I shall maketh the sands to glow. And yeah, I shall even build a great carpet of bombs in that place.
34 An another came from the Northeast, from the Land of Vermont. A Jew he was, of the Tribe of Sanders. And he saith, look to the East across the seas, even to the land of Denmark, and I tell you, as the land of Denmark is, so shall we be.
35 And these four, the great demon and the great whore and the one called Cruz and the one called Sanders, didst contend one with another for many months, even unto years. And which of them wouldst be the victor would not be known until the time of the Great Election. 36 And at that time, one would come up to the great House of White. 37 But as for the rest, they shall descend into that fiery pit which is called the Talk Show Circuit, where there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
"I am the Lord thy God; thou shalt have no other gods before me. For one pretender shall come in my name, saying, yea, I am god; and shall deceive many.
“But behold my servant, whom I have chosen; for he is a minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that does evil; and, verily, he shall smite the blasphemer and cast him down, for that false god is puny; and do not maketh my servant angry, for thou wouldst not like him when he is angry.”
Banner 2:17-18
[sup]12[/sup]Thee shalt not mix thine drinks, for mixing thine drinks shall have
[sup]13[/sup]Consequences in the morning.
[sup]47.1[/sup]If thine brother mixes his drinks,
[sup]47.2[/sup]and in the morning he suffers from Consequences,
[sup]47.3[/sup]doest thou slow down thine working and thine comings and goings?
And the angel sayeth unto them - For I have come to slayeth and to enjoy the fruit of the gum tree yet no fruit of the gum tree is herewith.
The cry of the children of Israel is come unto Me; and I have also seen wherewith the Egyptians oppress them; therefore come now, and I will send thee unto Pharaoh, that thou mayest bring forth My people the children of Israel out of Egypt.
And Moses said unto GOD, Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt? Surely, thou canst not be serious.
And GOD said, I am serious; and thou shalt not call me Shirley.
And Jesus came into the temple as was his calling, seeking Sarah.
But he was cast out, and turned his other cheek and sayeth, I shall return.
And verily, it was so.
And he overturned their tables and benches and a whole bunch of other shit.
Matthew 4:19a Simon saith, ‘Fishers of men’ sounds like an odd career but at least we won’t smell like seafood anymore. We must give a fortnight’s notice then we shall come with you.
Then did they come to Conan, whom they knew to be among the most wise in such matters. They said unto him, “Conan, what is Best in Life?” Then he said unto them, “To crush thine enemies, to see them driven before thee, and to hear the lamentations of their women.” They nodded in agreement, for they knew that he had spoken the Truth.
–The Gospel according to Ahhnold