And it is ON … let’s see how quickly it devolves into madness. 
OK, I followed your directions 3 times. I always end up as the only one in the room.
Not sure what I did differently this time - but I’m in.
We saw you! 
Just FYI, it does seem to be taking folks a few tries to connect, but keep at it … we’re in there.
Ok, yeah, that’d be me. Assume I have NO BLOODY IDEA what I’m doing. In fact, pretend I’m your grandma.
XChat Aqua: It’s free.
(There is also a true X11 version which is actually what I use instead of the Aqua XChat; but I am guessing you don’t have the X11 environment installed?)
a) On the first screen, titled “X-Chat: Server List”, the network you want is “Undernet”; If you do not find “Undernet” in the list of Networks, click the Add button and add it. Whether you do or do not already have Undernet, click the “Edit” button to configure it. A new window “Edit Undernet” should appear. Where it says “Servers for UnderNet” add these two:
us.undernet.org
eu.undernet.org
and then OK or Close that window.
then input “Valerieblaise” as your Nick name up top and hit the “Connect” button.
A large window should appear. If the text in the window does not end with “End of /MOTD” or something like that, the connection may not have gone through; wait and let it try the other server. Usually it just goes through.
Now click the Server menu (overhead menu in the menu bar) and pick “Join channel”.
in the resulting dialog window type “#straightdope” including the hash sign and OK it and you should be in!
PS: hi from another NYer!
Umm except you would presumably not put “valerieblaise” as your username. :o
That’ll teach me to cut & paste!
That much I got. And thanks!
Anybody else trying to get in using an iPad? I have the rooms app and can’t get in.
Do I have to pay for mIRC to play? It says I need to register since it’s been over the trial period since the last chat.
You can wait that out, “continue” will become an option.
No, you don’t need to register. Just hit continue.
I’ve been using mIRC for 10 years.
JOIN US!
Ooh, I’m in…
Anyone there who can help me connect?
There is no “Undernet” server folder. There’s an “Umbranet” and an “UnderZ”
For some reason, it’s not in alpha order … which trips me up sometimes.
Ok, found it, but now I’m getting these messages:
after a bunch of failed attempts, it says I’m connected.
pasted in /join #straightdope
It says Now Talking in green
There is what appears to be a short list of people in a column to the right.
But no one responds when I type in a message and hit ENTER
I don’t see anyone else’s chat messages appearing in the text box either.
Try going to Commands, and then Join Channel … and then enter #straightdope
I guess I came too late to the party 
Sorry I missed it!