I admit it: I’m a RPG fanatic from way back. I played all kinds of genres, although I was too cheap to invest in various rule books, because I was always the Game Master (or Dungeon Master if you prefer). AD&D, GURPS, V&V, Paranoia, Top Secret, Call of Cthulhu, Boot Hill, you name it. Like everybody else who has played the game, any game, I have lots of stories to tell about amazing adventures, incredible improvisations, great scenarios, and clever players outwitting impossible odds.
But forget that now. Tell me your stories of the stupidest players you ever had, the most boneheaded moves you ever saw in a game, the klutziest characters ever to grace the bone heap in the Tomb of Horrors.
I’m not talking about bad dice rolls. I’m not talking about unfortunate saving throws or evil traps. I’m speaking of times when the player commits an incredibly thick-headed lack of judgement that subjects the character to a cruel injustice or an untimely death.
My favorite mishaps came from one, count him, one player. We called him GODAG, for Good Ol’ Dead-And-Gone.
(D&D game)
Me: “You come to a river.”
Doug: “I’ll look around for a bridge.”
GODAG: “I jump in and swim across.”
Me: “Really? Okay. Your armor is too heavy. You sink to the bottom and die.”
(spy game)
Me: “The snipers continue to fire at your truck. The engine stops running and is now on fire.”
Everyone else: “Get out of the truck and take cover.”
GODAG: “I try to fix the engine.”
(sci-fi game, in planes vs. tanks battle)
Me: “Joe and GODAG, your planes are both hit. You’ve each lost control and you’re going down.”
GODAG: “I jump out of the plane.”
Joe: “I bail out of the plane.”
GODAG: “I go back and get my parachute.”
(Old West game, at the poker table with desperadoes)
Me, rolling dice: “You have lost all your money.”
GODAG: “I’ll put my guns on the table.”
Me: “Really? You reach for your guns?”
GODAG: “Yeah, I’ll bet my guns.”
Me: “The other poker players see you reaching for your guns and shoot you.”
Don’t get the wrong idea: I’m not a capricious GM who kills off players for fun. I really tried to give him every opportunity to do something useful. In the end, what we got was entertainment value.
I’m sorry if this thread is started in a bad location; I’m not really sure where it fits in best.