I completely sympathize with and support the OP. Hassling a random stranger by taking unwanted pictures of them, after being told unequivocally not to, is rude and obnoxious in the extreme.
While I don’t have the extreme issues that Siege does, I am extremely unphotogenic – even Mr. S, who loves me dearly, agrees that the person in photographs of me bears usually little complimentary resemblance to my live self. So while I don’t shy away from photos, I do always have the thought in the back of my mind, “Great, another ugly picture of me out there.”
I will suggest, however, one reason for photo-avoiders to try to put aside their own feelings, even if only once in a while. Too often I see letters to Dear Abby or whoever from people whose mother/best friend/insert loved one here avoided photographs, for whatever reason: was always the photographer, “I’m too fat,” “I’ll break the camera,” whatever. Then after the person was dead, the people left behind had no images to remember them by. My mother used to be like this, but she has gotten over it (I think because of the grandkids), so my collection of pictures of my mother is better now than it was in the past.
(For a long time, I did not have any acceptable (to my eyes) current photos of myself, so a few years ago at my cousin’s wedding, when everyone was all gussied up and hanging out in a beautiful environment, I brought my digital camera and had my mother take several dozen pictures of me and Mr. S together. Out of those we got one good one that actually looks like me. That should hold me for about ten years, I think.)
So please, especially if you have kids, allow your picture to be taken once in a while. Even if only every five or ten years, if that makes you comfortable. For the people who love you and don’t see the flaws that you perceive in yourself when they look at your picture – they just see someone they love.
