The following are things I love to eat, but would never prepare in a common room because of the smell: cooked cabbage, any kind of fish, microwave popcorn, curry… Nothing to do with ethnicity, it all just pretty much reeks. Hell, I love peanut butter, but I can’t stand the smell of it when someone else is eating it!.
FFS, I don’t think half of the respondents to this thread read the OP. To recap:
- Food was cooked in an apartment with cooking facilities, not a common living area.
- Food was prepared correctly (so no, the burnt popcorn analogy doesn’t mesh - it smells because it’s been prepped incorrectly).
- I took proper actions to do my best to make sure the aroma didn’t waft around the hall - open windows, running a fan, boiling an apple and cinnamon stick afterwards.
- I didn’t prepare a curry very often a) because it takes a bit of work and b) the possibility that it might bother some people. However, in the course of living in this apartment for two years, I did it a few times.
- The issue I’m raising is not so much that other folks (as I’ve noted, a small number) didn’t necessarily like the aroma. It’s that their unfamiliarity with it was conveyed quite rudely - it “stinks.” As I also noted, a number of folks stopped by to try (and in some cases, even request) curry. The favorable comments far outweigh the negative. The point is, the negative tended to be framed in an offensive manner.
The reason why I suspect there is a cultural bias going on is that I seriously doubt someone would complain about the smell of burgers, for instance - we had open pits and anyone could go out there and grill. So charcoal and burning cow flesh could be smelled all summer long. I certainly don’t believe that everyone necessarily enjoyed the aroma (I did for the most part - I love burgers), but it seems that there is a tolerance for culturally familiar aromas with some people, and a rejection of those unfamiliar.
Again I ask the question - taking the measures I took, are others saying if someone told you your food stunk, would you stop eating/preparing it?
This is the point I was more or less trying to make:
If you live in a culturally diverse environment, I suspect you have smelled curry, know what it is, and while you might not love it, be able to a) tolerate the aroma momentarily or b) if it bothers you, find a respectful way to raise your concern if it really is so irksome.
Dangerosa seems to be getting what I’m saying.
Could you give more details on how they said “it stinks” or is it truly the fact that they think it stinks at all what’s bothering you?
I think I would be irritated if people told me that food that I loved, that was from my culture, and which I was just about to eat, stunk. There are much more polite, effective ways to tell someone that the scent of their food bothers you, if in fact that is what they were trying to say. Were they saying it really bothered them, as in, it was pervasive and lingering, or just that they didn’t like it? If the latter, they are simply being rude. If they were truly bothered, they could still be more diplomatic than that. I have always thought it was extremely rude to make derogatory comments about someone else’s food, esp. while they are cooking/eating it. Having endured this as a vegetarian many times, I find it alienating for reasons similar to Hippy Hollow’s.
If I were living in a dorm as part of the residence hall staff, yeah, I would stop cooking certain foods if I got multiple complaints from the students every time I made it. The residence hall staff is there because of the students, they or their parents are paying money for them to live there, and, IMHO, the staff owes them extra consideration above what would be owed your neighbors in typical city apartment building.
If I felt this were some flawed cultural bias going on then I might try to get students to warm up to something new – hosting dinner, a cooking class, etc. Just telling them tough shit while dreaming of punching them in the mouth probably isn’t going to fix anyone’s narrow-minded intolerance for the smell of curry.
That said, if we were talking about a normal apartment building then cooking curry once a month seems to be perfectly within reason, just so long as you don’t expect any extra consideration when your neighbor has their monthly Rock Band party or whatever.
No, it’s anyone’s prerogative to find that something stinks, and highly subjective. As I’ve said upthread, if I had my druthers boiled eggs would be banned from the face of the earth. But they’re popular foods, and I suck it up when I’m around the smell. Don’t boil one in my house, though. 
The interaction I remember was like this. I was walking out of my hall entrance (which I generally hated doing) and someone came up behind me and said, “Dude, what are you making in there? It reeks!” Shit like that. It may have been a joke but I didn’t take it that way. Again, it’s my belief that it was more “hey, that’s a different smell than I’m used to, ergo it stinks” than “that fenugreek is really making my nose hairs tingle, could you do something about it?”
You got it, thanks Rubystreak.
I disagree with this. First, again I ask you, if someone complained in a fairly undiplomatic manner about something you cooked - let’s say burgers - you’d stop? Living in a res hall, which I did as a staff member for about 8 years, is not like living in a hotel. There is a certain amount of give and take needed. We have to collectively tolerate the smell of stale booze because some folks bring alcohol back to the dorms. You have to be able to tolerate your neighbor’s penchant for playing Candlebox all day if they’re turned it down to a reasonable level, and you just think they suck (true story, I had a 62 year old resident next door to two freshmen… and I sided with them. They played it on a “3” on their stereo, barely audible from outside the door).
Indeed, it’s in res halls where you learn the accommodations that are reasonable to expect with communal living, so you can live in an apartment complex and not be a complete jackass. The hall staffs I worked with, at five different universities, had the same stance: our job is to help you live and learn in a safe environment. Sometimes that means you have to deal with things a little different that you’d like (a roommate that has different sleeping/studying styles than you do, neighbors who like country music while you hate it, etc.). That’s part of the learning.
Well, guess what I made at our semiannual hall potluck? Education was part of my job… so at times it didn’t bother me. But it is something of a burden to have to be “educator” all the time. Why isn’t it the responsibility of intolerant people to educate themselves? Ask questions respectfully, etc.
Agreed, only that I’d extend that to the residence hall as well, where a RB party is perfectly acceptable outside of quiet hours.
One person, no. Multiple people, every time I cooked it, yes. As I said in my last post.
Let’s say three complaints, and essentially every kid on staff, desk workers, and kids of South Asian descent, about 20 I’d say, who would come by and ask for a taste.
I can’t stand the smell of curry, but my problem with curry would be a small one if the odor didn’t linger. My upstairs neighbor makes it once a month or so and as soon as I open my car door, I can smell it when she’s cooking it - with all of her windows closed! Thankfully it doesn’t permeate into my apartment, but I can smell it when I go outside for 3 days or more. (I have a very sensitve smeller since I quit smoking.)
But I’ve never once complained. If I could smell it in my apartment at all I probably would say something. I wouldn’t say that this is a cultural bias on my part at all. I’m Southern and hate the smell of collards too.
i’m not even sure if you’re asking me specifically, but no that would not change me mind. if 3 people complain then there are probably at least 10 who are annoyed but are too polite to say anything.
It really has nothing to do with “cultural insensitivity”. If someone thinks a certain odor stinks, it stinks. Doesn’t matter what culture it comes from.
I don’t see how curry compares to burgers, because doesn’t curry smell very strong? And the scent tends to linger?
Dude, don’t ask for advice, then dismiss it when it’s not what you wanted to hear.
You can think something stinks, but if you’re not a rude jerk, you can express that sentiment in a more constructive, kind way. Or not express it at all, if it’s not a lingering or pervasive odor that offends you, but merely something in passing that you dislike.
Yeah. Imma go with ‘don’t express it at all’.
I have smelled some interesting smells waft into my apt., but it would really have to be a strong ass persistant odor, on a regular basis for me to ever complain, and even then, I couldn’t imagine being rude about it.
But I am extremely tolerant about all kinds of apartment living issues. Even noisy parties get a pass from me. I’m always thinking, even if it is late and I gotta go to work in the morning, give them a fucking break. It’s not like they have a party every day.
Full disclosure, I lovessss me some cur-ray!
Ever smelled burned burgers on an open grill? Charcoal/meat lingers, especially if it gets into fabric.
I’m not asking for advice either, I’m asking how others would have handled it. Event took place years ago. Did you read the OP?
I think cooking it once a month or so is not unreasonable. But I don’t think it’s fair to blame the smell on lack of cultural awareness. The stale smell of old cooked curry stinks. Especially if Basmati rice was cooked alongside. The smell of chargrilled burgers is appetizing. In Thailand the durian fruit is so stenchworthy that it’s forbidden in many public places, but people still love to eat it. Perceiving something as being stinky and being culturally aware are not mutually exclusive.
Well, that’s certainly one perspective. Is it the only one?
I suspect if you’re vegetarian, or from a place where cows aren’t eaten for food, you might feel differently.
And durian… hell, there are plenty of people in Thailand that think durian has an offensive odor. Hardly the same thing.
Why don’t you want to accept that some odors are generally less appealing than others? As you point out, boiled eggs stink. So do certain cheeses. And so does the stale smells of having cooked curry. Of course not every person think these smell objectionable, and certainly people still enjoy eating the foods. But the smell of cooking curry is not the same as the smell of bread baking. Does that mean you should avoid cooking curry? Of course not. Does it mean you should allow that some people may say it stinks because to them it smells bad and NOT because they are culturally unaware? Absolutely.
I’m going to say that if a cooking odor can be smelled OUTSIDE YOUR APARTMENT, and multiple people have complained about it, then it’s offending many others. Maybe some people don’t mind it, or want a taste. But for every person who complained, I’m willing to bet that there were many more who hated the smell, thought you were a jerk for inflicting it on them, and didn’t complain to you because they thought you could retaliate, as you were on the staff.
I’m the sort of person who doesn’t want to rock the boat in communal situations like this, so to answer your question:
Yes I would. I’d save preparing my ‘smelly food’ for times when the students weren’t there, and I’d get my ‘fix’ by eating it at restaurants instead.
An example without the potential cultural issue would be tuna. I love tuna salad for lunch, but I’m aware it has a strong smell, so I would never bring it in for lunch to a workplace. Same with eggs in salad.