My german shepherd, Mike, is old. At least 13, probably quite at bit older. Ever since I lost my other old dog, Mike’s companion for the last 11 years, Mike’s been very hard to keep weight on. He’s never been very interested in food, and I"ve had to start doctoring his food with canned food, making chicken and rice stew for him and sometimes even have to sit beside him and hand-feed him to get him to eat. He has interest in his favorite things, like chasing my horse, but this last month he seems to have just gone downhill as far as his back end is concerned. When he stands, he no longer stands up, but sort of slouches in the back. He’s losing his balance in the rear, too, almost falling over at times (before the pred. he would occasionally fall over). For the last 6 months or so he’s been on prednisone for his arthritis. We started with Rimadyl, but that didn’t seem to do anything except eat a hole in his stomache. So the vet prescribed prednisine, and it’s worked okay, not great. I had him on 20 mg of pred., an enteric-coated aspirin and a pepcid every day. A week ago we started a new med, Zubrin, but since then he’s had diarrhea.
Today I’ll probably have Mike put to sleep. The new med isn’t working, he’s had diarrhea for the last several days. He’s just not got many good days now. And what passes for good is a long way from what good used to be. I know it’s the best for him, but I keep hoping there’ll be a repreive. A new med, an increase in appetite. You know, at least when people you love die, you don’t have to give the death sentence. The doctors do their best, then you grieve, but you don’t usually say, “Give the injection that will cause the death of the one I love.” And because he can’t speak, I’ll never know if this is what he’s ready for. He may be ready to die, but I’m not ready to let go. But it hurts so much to see him like this. Logically, it’s the best decision. Emotionally, however, I’m a wreck.
I’m so very sorry. This is such a difficult decision to make. Just because you’re doing the best thing for Mike, it sure doesn’t make it any easier for you.
Sometimes, I think it is far kinder to to do that than to watch someone suffer.
And I speak from experience.
jlzania - I’ve watched people I love suffer and die. My father died of lung cancer. He fought for 2 years. And he always said he’d fight until his last breath. And he did. For the last week the hospice nusre would come every day and say he couldn’t live through the day, and he’d keep gasping on, even while in a coma. When he died it was a relief, because he was in such pain. But I wouldn’t take that fight from him. It was his decision to make, even if it was hard for us to watch. That’s why I don’t want to make the decision for Mike. It feels like it should be his decision, not mine. But am I holding him here, feeding him liver and chicken by hand and forcing pills down his throat?
Aguecheek - It’ so hard watching a beloved pet grow old and sick. So hard. But I always say that the grief is worth it - if you didn’t love them, if they didn’t love you, you wouldn’t feel so strongly. And love can never be a bad thing.
I am so sorry to hear that your Mike is failing. I have 2 senior aussies. I know I will be in your shoes one day.
I heard a woman talk about euthanasia one day and will never forget that she said our pets don’t want to go until they can no longer do their “job,” whatever that may be in Mike’s case. If he can’t greet you and be with you in his accustomed way, I think you are very loving to consider letting him go. I tell myself that when the time comes for my two, I will love them enough to let them go…saying is a whole lot easier than doing, but that’s what I tell myself.
I have a friend who has multiple animals; she has had her vet come to her house to euthanize some of them when the time came. If this is an option in your case, maybe this would make it easier for you and feel less “clinical.”
Awww…shit. I’m in the exact same situation StGermain. Mine is going on 11 but has had hip dysplasia her whole life. Now she’s got the same degenerative nerve thing you’re talking about. The only difference being that mine still seems to be happy as hell most of the time. She “plays” with the lab, drags herself to the fence to bark at the neighbor dogs (her favorite pastime), thoroughly enjoys just sitting next to the wife and I while we watch TV, etc.
I had just written a fairly long reply to you here and lost it. Without the self-indulgent memories of my own experiences, and the anticipated soon having to do the same for my 20 year old cat, I’ll summarize and hope I don’t lose this one:
A lot of pets are going to watch us walk in the house tonight, and maybe wonder why suddenly they’re getting some extra attention, or neck scratching and why their people look like they’re crying. You have a lot us out here thinking of you and feeling that pain with you.
Fuck, the rule is no crying at work…I’m going to go read some stupid, funny post now and try to compose…
One addition: My 19 year old daughter has three picture frames on the wall over her bed. Each is a picture of a cat, along with a collage of that poem about pets running to meet you in heaven (Rainbow Bridge?).
The other day, she was sitting and talking about when she has her own place someday and she said she’d never have cats, or any pets.
mr bus guy - When I lost my AFghan hound 20 years ago, my mother beged me not to get another dog because it hurts so much when you lose them. But I think that all the years of all you get up to that point make the grief worth it. Nothing in life is free, and it the balance to many years of love is eventual grief, so be it. I did say that I’d never have just one pet again, though. It’s too hard to come home to an empty house.
I’m so sorry about Mike. Someday soon I will be in the same boat with my 11-year-old German shepherd/lab mix, Scout. She’s on Rimadyl for her arthritis as well. We had a scare with her last fall and thought we would have to put her down, but she pulled through. I was able to decrease her meds for a little bit, but now I have her back on the old dose as she’s a bit wobbly some days. I’ve always hoped for our critters that one day they just take an extra-long nap and drift off. Some have been so lucky and others have not. So far I have not had to make the call.
When my time comes I hope to be able to slip away peacefully in the arms of someone who loved me very much.
That’s a gift we can give our pets that we can’t assure for ourselves.
I also think sometimes our pets hang on just for us and it’s OK to release them from that burden. People do that too – a coworker of mine whose husband was desperately ill with metastasized prostate cancer told him during the height of his suffering that it was all right to go – that if he was hanging on just for her that she would be all right and he shouldn’t worry about her. He died later that day.
Our pets aren’t able to communicate with us in that way, but you know Mike better than anyone, so I think you’ll know when the right time is for him. I know that doesn’t make it hurt less, but we just have to trust ourselves and believe we’re doing the best thing we can under the circumstances. I’m sorry you have to go through it again.
Thank you, everyone. In the end, it was very peaceful. The vet took one look at me and Mike and said, "Is it time? You don’t need to say anything else - I’ll get it set up."I asked her if there was anything else she could think of to do, and she said no, it was the right decision. She gave him a shot of tranquilizer and waited for him to fall asleep. Once he was asleep she gave him the shot of pink stuff. She said she’d bill me, then changed her mind and told me there was no charge. It hurts, but no more than watching him suffer.
Hi StGermain, I had to put my 14yo cat to sleep a couple of weeks ago, so I know how you feel. It’s really hard to make the decision to let someone you care about go, but in the end, it’s the final thing you do for your best friend.
I hope that the worry and stress of the care you gave him in the final days is gone, and the grief you’re feeling is soon tempered by the good memories you will have of him through all of the 13 wonderful years you had together.
I am glad it was peaceful in the end. That’s how it was with my cats–making the decision was agonizing, but then once it was over, I knew it was the right thing and felt much better.
I hope Mike is romping somewhere and barking like a madman.