How do you decide when to put a dog to sleep?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I adopted a small white mixed breed dog from a shelter about 12 years ago. She wasn’t a puppy at the time so I don’t really know how old she is. My WAG would be about 14. She is now partly blind, partly deaf and partly incontinent. We took her to the vet on Monday and he put her on estrogen for the incontinence. Since then, she seems to be going down hill. She has fallen off of our porch a couple of times and has even fallen walking up the stairs to get into the house. My wife just told me that she hasn’t been able to give her her medicine because she’s not eating.

It’s not all bad. Some days she’ll run around in the yard just like she did 10 years ago. Some days it looks like walking is a chore. I assume that she also has some arthritis. We always give her a “joint care” kind of dog food with glucosamine but I don’t know if it actually does any good or is just hype.

I know that dogs don’t live forever and that when the time comes, it will be my responsibility to take her to the vet and stay with her for her final breaths. How do you know when it’s time to make that decision? Like I said, she has had good days and bad days. Do you wait until they’re all bad days? :frowning:

I’m just looking for opinions. Thanks.

2

It’s a tough decision, but usually by the time you have to ask, you’re at that point. Personally, I wouldn’t want until they’re “all bad days.” Falling down, not eating, incontinent, partially blind and “going down hill” makes it sound like the right time. I’m sorry.

3

One thing that helped me when I had to make the decision (for my cat, though I don’t see why it would make a difference) was that the long list of treatments we could do would make him more comfortable, but not actually comfortable and well…just not as bad.

Not eating, and difficulty with stairs? I know it’s easier for me, who has no attachment to your dog, to say that yes, it sounds like it’s time. Consider the ratio of running like she used to days to falling from the porch days? I would urge you not to wait until they are all bad days.

14 (or so) years is a good long life for most dog breeds. And you adopted her when she was no longer a puppy so that’s kind of huge.

When you’re absolutely sure it’s the right decision at the right time it’s a tough thing to do. There is a lot of support right here. Dopers have been through it and will help you through it, too.

4

Not that it really matters, but here’s a picture of my precious Daisy.

5

No, absolutely not. I am a firm believer in two related ideas

  1. The Last Good Day

  2. Better a day too early, than a day too late.

  3. The day you put your animal down should be its Last Good Day, not its last bad day. On that day your animal should be able to enjoy all the things it’s been previously forbidden due to its medical conditions, etc. and do all its favorite things in all its favorite places. Sit on the sofa and have butter for dinner! why not!? If you don’t think your dog is capable having a Last Good Day because there isn’t anything it still enjoys reliably, call the vet and put the dog down today.

  4. I would rather put down a failing animal that is still enjoying life in some ways, than have to do it in a crisis with the animal in agony.

Take care and best wishes for your difficult decision. I do not agree with the people who say “you will just know.” I have found it to be a struggle to decide each and every time. By following the principles above, I have made decisions I regret the least amount possible.

6

Aw! Sweet Daisy! she looks like a doll.

It’s so very, very hard to make such a decision. I’ve had to do it once each with a dog, a cat and a horse. I never gets easier. My heart breaks for you that you are facing this decision.

For me, the last time I had to put a dog down, last year, he sounded like he was in a similar condition to what your pup is in. He was having good and bad days, mostly good. Then one weekend he had two bad days in a row. He needed help to stand up and couldn’t really walk. We took him in the next day. The day we took him in he seemed better, but I did not want him to suffer one more bad day like the two he’d had before. It’s really hard, heck, I’m crying right now typing about it, but you know you’ve done the right thing when they go quietly, peacefully in your arms.

7

I can’t quantitatively and qualitatively define it, but a pet owner just knows when it’s time.

The last dog we had put down, we knew what was wrong with her, pancreatic cancer, and had a very good idea of how it would progress. There was a tumor pressing on her spine, and when her back end no longer worked, that was it.

We also had a cat much more recently that had suspected cancer. she went over-long in my mind because my wife was in denial that the cat was wasting away. The wife finally realized what I was telling her about the cat, and she went to the vet, too.

Sometimes the critter will tell you it’s time to go. Look for them to withdraw and try to put as much distance between you and them as they can manage.

My sympathies. Obviously I’ve been there, and it’s never easy.

8

Daisy is beautiful, and I’m sorry you’re going to have to face that parting. For ten years we also had a rescue dog whose exact age was undetermined. I watched our terrier slow down and suffer going up stairs. After a few months, it became clear to me that he needed to be out of pain. I sigh with good memories of him.

9

Can you give her a pain killer for the arthritis and see what happens?

10

Unfortunately, I can see this happening as well. She used to love to jump into my lap while I would watch TV and she hasn’t done that in quite a while. I blamed the arthritis. She also loved taking trash to the dump with me every Saturday so that she could sniff around. I took her last Saturday (the first time in a while) and she didn’t even get out of the truck.

Dammit so much.

11

I had to do this a couple of weeks ago. You just know.

Our 16 year old Black Lab, Morgana, had been in a steady decline for the past few months.

First she couldn’t go up the stairs any more (knee injury from a few years ago had taken its toll - pain meds helped this). Then she became a bit incontinent (again meds solved this), and became the “downstairs dog”, and then her eyes started to get cloudy.

We had a little talk about it maybe getting close to “that time”

“That” morning, when my wife went downstairs, Morgana was just laying there on her dog bed, looking up at her. Prior to that day she had ALWAYS stood up, started wagging, and patiently (or as patiently as a semi-incontinent dog can be) waited to be let out / fed. Something was up. Morgana finally got up, went out to the back porch, and layed down again. She had NEVER done that before. We both instantly knew it was her time.

Funny thing, the night before, she suddenly stood up from her bed downstairs, walked over to the both of us on the couch, and started licking both of us, just like she used to do a lot when she was more mobile.

There’s something in my eyes now, so I have to stop typing.

12

If she’s stopped eating and stopped doing the things she loved to do, it’s time to respect her choice. She will always love you and you will always be her person, even if she’s not in the same room with you.

13

Always a tough call. Clearly you don’t let your best friend endure suffering for a long time. But dogs tend to become very slow and lethargic, almost always sleeping, without showing signs of suffering, but that may be their response to it. I just think you know your dog and know when he or she would want to end it themselves. Personally I don’t believe in heavily doping dogs when they are suffering. Some steroids may perk them up for a little while, but they’ll come crashing down again. Each dog has their own standards too, just like people. I remember when our dog Dude passed away one night. She had suffered a number of seizures and that night was straining to breath. I think we would have ended it the next day but she dragged herself outside to relieve herself one more time, came back in, lay down, and fell asleep forever. I think she wanted to have that last bit of dog dignity by not soiling her bed and then ceded to the ever after.

14

For me, its once basic mobility becomes limited. Not running and jumping is okay, but when even walking outside becomes a chore then it’s time for the Last Great Day.

15

I fully agree with the concept of one last good day. Both cats I’ve put down, I brought them outside with me and placed them on the patio table. They weren’t going anywhere it was nice to see them breathe outside fresh air before I did the deed.

16

This decision is so very hard. Our dog was almost 16. She slowed down a lot in the last couple of her years. She developed a tumor in her shoulder, and eventually it got to a point where she was not able to lay down and get comfortable at all. She would wander the house at night trying to find a good spot. Often she would just lay down in the middle of the floor and I would step on/trip on her in the early morning when I got up, which was not characteristic. Finally, she could not make it up and down the stairs, and would leave food in her bowl (she usually wolfed it all down. That is how we knew it was time. One of the hardest days.

Knowing when it is time will be different for everyone.

17

For us, it’s usually one or both of:

  • The animal stops showing interest in something it previously enjoyed, or
  • The medical intervention to provide relief from pain or distress is *itself *painful or distressing.

For instance, one of my old cats started to accumulate fluid in her abdomen. The vet diagnosed feline lymphoma (a cancer very common in old cats), did abdominocentisis to remove the fluid, and prescribed prednisone. The pred provided some relief, but the cat’s belly filled up with fluid again, compressing her stomach and diminishing her appetite. cwSpouse authorized another round of abdominocentisis. The third time she filled up with fluid, I pointed out that the procedure is painful and distressing to a 16-year-old cat (who doesn’t understand why it’s happening). We agreed to put the cat to sleep rather than continue with medical interventions.

On the other hand, our last two elderly dogs (we keep adopting the old pets no one else wants) received treatment for their conditions until they just couldn’t do what they liked any more. The beagle with lymphoma and back pain got prednisone and painkillers until the day I carried him down the stairs and he just didn’t want to walk to the corner and pee on things (something he could generally be relied upon to do). The other beagle mix with degenerative neuropathy got daily walks (duration and pace of her choosing) until the day she woke up and could not stand. With both dogs, we were aware that their quality of life was declining, and we were watching for that tipping point where they were enduring life more than they were enjoying it.

18

I’m sorry to say I agree with the “it’s time” position. Her quality of life can’t be all that good if she’s having trouble with her senses, doesn’t have much appetite, and is incontinent, plus the pain she’s apparently having walking. Waiting until they’re all bad days would IMO cause more suffering than necessary.

(offers sympathetic hug) I’ve been where you are. Only bad point to pets, IMO, is their too-short lifespans.

19

Just had my good old girl “ojo” put down yesterday. We got “Ojo” as a puppy when my first child was born. From day one, this little black lab pup was a wonderful friend to my little baby Kassie. They started growing together, playing more and more rough while she never once growled at her no matter how much abuse she was getting. My son Skyler came along 3 years later and now the kids teamed up on her yet she was always the sweetest dog ever towards them. I have had other dogs and still have two basset hounds. Out of every dog I have had in my life “Ojo” is the only one that would skip her food at feeding time if I were willing to give her some attention. Such a good dog. So I am not any sort of professional advice giver in dealing with how to handled this but decided to share my story in the hopes it might help someone else during such a difficult time.

So many questions when dealing with putting a friend down. When is it time? How to handled it with kids? Could I have been a better owner? ect, ect. I don’t have the answers but I can tell you I waited to long. Once I realized she was not going to get better I started reading and found some that said once the dog can’t dog what dogs love to do, play, eat, run, then its time. I personally waited to long. My dog was losing weight like crazy, had a hard time getting up, and couldn’t keep food down the last few days. I knew it was time. The very last act of love we can give them is making this decisions sooner rather then later.

So now I’m a wreck about losing my girl. My wife can’t handle it and wants nothing to do with it. It’s just to hard. Now I’m dealing with my own feelings, crying like a baby, and also making arrangements. The hardest thing is that I telecommute and had her right next to me the last few days. It’s hard folks and it’s ok to cry. Be sad but don’t feel guilty. Remember, its the greatest act of love we can give our beloved pets. Finally and most importantly how to deal with my kids. Do I use the good old “She went to live on a farm” to save them the sorrow? Do I just not tell them she is dying and explain it afterwards? Do I tell them she was “put down” or just tell them she died? Here is how this Dad handled it.

While not letting them know ahead of time seemed the easy way out. I really didn’t like the thought of seeing my children saying goodbye and how hard that would be for them to goto school knowing they would never see her again. Yet one thing stuck out in my mind. My daughter has this thing where she always has to have the last kiss in the morning or when I drop her off at gymnastics. I put her in Moms car in the morning, give Mom kiss, give Skyler kiss then always need to give her a kiss and tell her I love her. NOT allowed to speak with anyone after that. So I just knew I couldn’t let Ojo die without her saying goodbye.

So with plans to have Ojo put to sleep on Tuesday, I picked my kids up on Monday and explained to them that Ojo was not getting any better and I believed she is in pain but is only hanging around for us. So I told them they didn’t have to do there homework tonight and I think we should just spend the night with Ojo letting her know we understand and it’s ok if she wants to goto heaven. This went better then I thought. My daughter cried a little in the car but when we got home she went to her and gave hugs and told Ojo it’s ok, we understand if she wants to go now.(I know, super sad right?). Then she went and got old photo albums and started showing her pictures of Ojo playing with them as a pup. I asked them to draw pictures of what Dog heaven looked like and they did and showed Ojo. Birds, fields and lakes to swim in with other dogs! My daughter ask me when I was going to “Do it” and I say “Do what?” She said, “You Know, Do it?” So she already knew about putting dogs down but I just couldn’t tell her it would be tomorrow. I told her I’m not sure but am having vet come to house tomorrow with results of blood test we had done. She knew.

So Tuesday morning kids get up and ready for school. I make wife go out and say goodbye knowing she is going to need at least 10 minutes before ever being able to talk. I didn’t want kids to see that. Showing sadness is fine and they have already seen me crying about this but Mom gets to where she can’t even talk about it. After that, Skyler went out and said goodbye. He is 6 but I could tell he was going to be fine. Now it was Kassie turn. The one I worried about the most. This girl has been stung by a bee twice and is scared to death of bee’s yet when one is stuck in the pool she insist I save it life. Same with spiders and all creatures. Kassie went out and spent a few minutes. Kept it together and was so strong. Told Ojo she loved him and it’s ok if she needs to go. So strong. I packed them in car gave everyone a kiss, with kassie being the last of course :-), and sent them off to school

Now I have to get ready for vet coming at 11:30am. I spend time with Ojo crying like crazy. I take breaks to start digging a resting place near a couple tree in back yard with great view of open fields. I gather item that will go with her. Chewbacca and Yoda from Skyler. Pictures of the family, a ball, and one of my daughter gymnastic metals. I clean up and think I have it together until there is a knock on the door. I open it to let the vet in and just start balling. Don’t worry, they see it all the time and understand. I help Ojo up and to the deck and put her on a bed. I hold her head and tell her it times girl. You go ahead now and play. You have been a wonderful do and we all love you very much. I watch as the vet is about to put in the needled and start repeating. “Kassie says goodbye and loves you vey much and will always love you. Kassie loves you very much and will always love you.” Ojo tries briefly to sit up then just starts relaxing in my arm. I hold her and whisper in her ear “Kassie loves you and will always love you” Over and over until the vet says she is gone. I spend a few minutes then cover her up and let the vet out. I then go back and hold her some more. I carry her down to her resting place, put her on my favorite Raider blanket we always fought for, put wooden flowers on top of her, pictures in front of her face, and Kassies Gymnastic metal around her neck. Give her another good pat on the back and slowly start filling the grave but only with my hands at firsts. After she is covered I fill in the rest with Shovel and place a flower on grave.

Now I need to get kids from school. As I pick up Kassie from class she gives me hug and we all start walking to car. She was not looking at me so I knew what she was thinking. I said “Kassie” and she looked up at me and I just shook my head and started crying. Let Sklyer go play with friend at school and sat Kassie on grass. I explained that Ojo must have listened to her the night before becuase the vet came to the house and saids she was ready now. I let her know exactly how it went down and how Ojo went very peaceful hearing “Kassie loves you and will always love you”

We get home and she cry a little in the car but handles it better then Dad had most the day. She is stronger then I realized. She visits his resting place and then collects rocks to paint. After about 15 rocks she takes them down and start placing the around Ojo at sunset. I watch her from above so proud of her. I take Sklyer and Mom down, say a prayer and then read the following

When I am gone, release me, let me go-
I have so many things to see and do.
You must not tie yourself to me with tears,
be happy that we had so many years.
I gave you my love; you can only guess
how much you gave me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you have each shown.
But now it is time I traveled alone.

That’s my story. I hope it helps. I know how hard it is. Yes it’s sad. But it’s the final greatest act of love we can give them.

20

One thing. Some vets will come to the house to do it, but you will have to call around to find one that does. If you can find one and afford it I think its a damn good idea (particularly for cats).

I had to deal with this kinda crap just this past weekend for a relative. About a year ago I had to put down my best bud ever dog. And it wasn’t even a “its now or a few weeks from now” sorta thing. It was just general advancing old age. One night over the past weekend I dreamed my best bud was alive and well still. I don’t think I have ever been happier in a dream or upon waking in my life :frowning: